This post is dedicated to the time I got arrested on Mother's Day when I was 15. Do not -- I repeat -- do not, get high with your friends on the roof of a parking garage in Coral Gables and throw rocks at the Metrobus, even if it's parked and nobody's in it and you think nobody's watching. It is a bad idea. A very bad idea. Especially because some people work on Mother's Day and they will watch the whole thing from their office windows and call the cops.
Yes, my dad picked me up at the station. No, I didn't get to go to Tutti's on LeJeune with the fam. And yes, I learned my lesson. It wasn't fun, it still isn't kind of funny to this day, and I haven't done anything quite that stupid since.
Sorry, Ma. Here are some places I would like to take you to make up for it 12 years later.
Canyon Ranch Grill
6801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-514-7474
Oceanside brunch followed by a complimentary express manicure at Canyon Ranch Salon, all for $39. Brunch features a selection of organic choices including chilled avocado soup with shrimp and grapefruit salsa, Mongolian marinated bison tenderloin with shiitake mushrooms, and dessert items. Included in this package is a Canyon Ranch cookbooklet, 10 percent discount on salon services until June 30, 10 percent off at the Living Essentials boutique, $5 off Chef Scott's Nourish cookbook, and Rose product samples. The package is available Mother's Day only.
BLT Steak at the Betsy Hotel
1440 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-673-0044
Prix fixe brunch for $24, including a choice of two complimentary cocktails -- the refreshing Mother's Little Helper and A Flower for Mom. A special menu crafted by chef Laurent Touroundel includes almond brioche French toast, BLT popover poached eggs, Cuban pressed pork shoulder, and eight-ounce strip steak 'n' eggs.
Smith & Wollensky
1 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-2800
Three-course prix fixe Mother's Day menu available May 10 from 11:30 a.m. to midnight for $55 per person. Dishes include Cajun shrimp and avocado salad, Atlantic salmon steak, and dry-aged prime rib of beef.
Gaia Ristorante at the Hilton Bentley
101 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-672-6635
Champagne brunch in a tropical setting. $49 per person, $29 for those under 12 years old. Menu features salt crusted prime rib au jus, orecchiette pasta with oxtail meat ragout, selection of "omelets and eggs," steamed clams with chorizo, breakfast pastries, asparagus and eggplant hummus, broccolini almondine, tuscan bean soup, cakes, candies, and chocolates.
Area 31 at the Epic Hotel
270 Biscayne Boulevard Way, 16th Fl., Miami; 305-424-5234
Mother's Day brunch from noon to 3 p.m. is three hours of unlimited buffet, mimosas, bloody marys, prosecco, and fresh juices for $50 per person. The cold buffet includes house-baked breakfast breads; imported cured meats and cheeses; a ceviche bar with shrimp, tuna, oysters, and conch; domestic caviar; and bilinis. The hot buffet features waffles, cooked-to-order three-egg omelets, eggs Benedict, steak/frites (flat-iron steak, shoe-string fries, and red wine sauce), grilled corvina paired with salsa verde and baked rigatoni served with pink sauce and lamb sausage.
The Grill on the Alley at Aventura Mall (south side)
19501 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura; 305-466-7195
Mother's Day brunch from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. features traditional toasted bagels and house-cured gravlaaks served with cream cheese, tomato, red onion, capers, and lemon zest; cobb omelet with chicken breast, green onions, avocado, tomatoes, bacon, and blue cheese; double-smoked bacon and eggs served with choice of side; or the daily special: queen-cut, slow-roasted 12-ounce prime rib with creamed spinach and horseradish. All menu items (with the exception of the queen cut) range from $8 to $14. Cocktails include the poinsettia, made with Champagne and cranberry juice, and many other hand-crafted brunch cocktails for $6. During the meal, Mom will receive a long-stem rose.
Andú Restaurant and Lounge
141 SW Seventh St., Miami; 786-871-7005
Executive chef Nate Martin has designed a menu of Mediterranean cuisine with international influences. Choice of unlimited hot and cold options include chickpeas and Provençal vegetables; mixed seafood ceviche; jamón and eggs Benedict served with roasted tomatoes, arugula, Serrano ham, and hollandaise; or let Mum create her own pancakes using chocolate chips, bananas, strawberries, and other tasty tidbits. A sweets bar features muffins, cinnamon sugar doughnuts, cookies, cakes, pastries. The pièce de resistance is the "interactive mimosa and bloody mary bar." Open from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. for $30-plus per person, with $6 libations.
1223 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-532-3061
Chef and owner Claudio Giordano has created a Mediterranean-inspired menu. AltaMar will offer a "3 for 33" menu with three courses for just $33-and-up per person. Choose from appetizers such as Florida deep-water golden crab -- steamed, cleaned, and served in its own shell with olive oil and lemon -- and Bahamian conch salad; specialty pastas including black truffle and wild mushroom homemade ravioli with truffled butter sauce; and entrées like pan-roasted mahi-mahi with jumbo lump crab meat and garlic mojo.
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Jaguar Ceviche Spoon Bar & Latam Grill
3067 Grand Ave., Coconut Grove; 305-444-0216
Owner Eduardo Durazo and executive chef/partner Oscar Del Rivero have designed a destination featuring fresh Latin favorites and innovative ceviche spoons. Try the "ceviche los cabos," made with Pacific swordfish, red onion, jalapeños, cilantro, lime, and olive oil; the "ceviche black market," made with white fish, shrimp, calamari, aji amarillo sauce, and corn; or the "ceviche oriental," made with tuna, ginger, soy, jalapeños, shallots, cilantro, lime, grape seed oil, avocado, cucumber, and sesame seeds. Can't decide? Try them all with the ceviche spoon sampler: six spoons, each filled with a different ceviche mix. Choose from the Argentine churrasco paired with traditional chimichurri and roasted garlic, or the lomo saltado, Peruvian stir-fry with beef and vegetables served with house white rice. Jaguar will make its mark with a small signature Mother's Day gift at the end of the meal.
Pascal's on Ponce
2611 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Coral Gables; 305-444-2024
From 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., the à la carte brunch menu includes traditional specialties and a glass of Champagne, or try the prix fixe menu for $54.95 per person, which brings two courses, with choice of main course with an appetizer or dessert. For three courses, add $10. The dinner à la carte menu is served from 6 to 10 p.m. and features seasonal spring special additions.
Texas de Brazil
300 Alton Rd., #200, Miami Beach; 305-695-7702
Texas de Brazil's Mother's Day menu features gourmet meats, cooked in the traditional churrascaria style. This place is known for its meats, slow-roasted over an open flame and sliced and served tableside. Choices include but are not limited to house specialty picanha, brazilian sausage, leg of lamb, chicken breast wrapped in bacon, and Parmesan pork loin. There's also a salad bar with up to 50 items, including but not limited to Brazilian black beans with pork, imported cheeses, artichoke hearts, and grilled portobello mushrooms.