Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods

It's a good time to be a stoner in the USA. Each election cycle, an increasing number of states are becoming more liberal with marijuana laws. Soon we all might be able to walk to the beach or the park while proudly holding a joint or vape.

Until then, silly laws can't stop Miamians from indulging in a little harmless weed in the privacy of our own homes. After all, the greatest danger of lighting up with friends is getting high and hungry. 

In this arena, Miami restaurants don’t disappoint. Consider your munchies handled.

Hawaiian pizza at Casola's.
Hawaiian pizza at Casola's.

1. Hawaiian pizza at Casola’sWould it really be a stoner-foods list if pizza weren't included? Pizza is a staple munchies food, and Casola’s elevates the concept. Though you can’t go wrong with any of the flavors, the Hawaiian ($5.79 for a slice) is a favorite because of the salty-sweet combination of pineapple and ham atop cheesy goodness. 2437 SW 17th Ave., Miami; 305-858-0090; casolas.com.

Toston burger
Toston burger
Courtesy of Pincho Factory

2. Toston burger at Pincho Factory. Pincho Factory’s toston burger ($8.49) is a thing of beauty. The perfect blend of an American classic and a Cuban favorite, this burger is everything when you’re stoned. The concoction contains two golden tostones as buns for a patty topped with jack cheese, caramelized onions, potato sticks, and cilantro sauce. 12590 Kendall Dr., Miami; 305-501-2877; and various other locations; pinchofactory.com.

Sparkle sprinkle doughies from MdoughW.EXPAND
Sparkle sprinkle doughies from MdoughW.
Courtesy of MdoughW

3. Doughies from MDoughW. Part cookie and part cake, these chewy, decadent treats come in flavors such as Funfetti, cookies 'n' cream, rainbow cake, and chocolate-chunk dough stuffed with a brownie. Best of all, the treats come to you via UberEats. Each creation begins with a cookie-dough base and is then filled with another sweet, making it a doubly good was to satisfy your desire for sweetness. MDoughW treats (around $25 to $30) on UberEats; mdoughw.com

Dos Croquetas's Dame Mas
Dos Croquetas's Dame Mas
Photo courtesy of Dos Croquetas

4. The Dame Mas from Dos Croquetas. The beauty of croquetas from Dos Croquetas is you don’t have to put forth much effort into procuring them. Let Miami’s first croqueta delivery company bring its handcrafted creations directly to your doorstep. The hard part comes in deciding which flavor you want: the 305, filled with Angus-style Cuban picadillo, plantains, and cheese; Mexican street corn; mac 'n' cheese and bacon; Buffalo crack chicken; Angus cheddar burger; or ham. If you can’t choose just one, Dame Mas ($13.49) lets you sample all six flavors of the classic snack. 305-912-3672; doscroquetas.com.

Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods (13)
Ms. Cheezious

5. Ms. Cheezious' Southern fried chicken and waffle melt. Thanks to food-truck-turned-restaurant Ms. Cheezious, stoners near and far can enjoy the glory that is the Southern fried chicken and waffle melt ($10). Basically, it’s a buttermilk fried chicken breast sandwiched between two waffles with American cheese. What really sets this melt apart is the country gravy and syrup for dipping. It’s the perfect flavor profile of salty and sweet, coupled with the joy of being able to enjoy a breakfast favorite for dinner. 7418 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-989-4019; mscheezious.com.

Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods (7)
Photo by Laine Doss

6. MadLab Creamery's glittery, cotton-candy-topped ice cream. If taking a toke awakens your creative side along with your hunger, a trip to MadLab is in order. Start with a soft-serve ice-cream base; add amazing toppings such as sprinkles, fruit, and gummies; and then festoon the entire concoction with cotton candy and edible glitter or gold dust. A cup or cone starts at $7.50 and includes one topping and one sauce. From there, add-ons cost 50 to 75 cents each. 140 NE 39th St., Miami; madlabcreamery.com. Daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

My Childhood Dream burger
My Childhood Dream burger
Courtesy of Lokal

7. My Childhood Dream at LokalMy Childhood Dream ($15) is a doughnut burger thought up by Lokal’s owner when he was a kid working at his dad’s doughnut shop. The creation features a sliced doughnut for a bun, which is topped with a seven-ounce beef patty, American cheese, and candied bacon. It really should be called My Stoner Dream. 3190 Commodore Plaza, Coconut Grove; 305-442-3377; lokalmiami.com.

Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods (9)
Courtesy of Mr. Kream

8. Ice-cream sundaes at Mr. Kream Wynwood. What could be more fitting to sate your cravings than a hip-hop-inspired ice-cream shop in Wynwood. Flavors include the heavenly 24K carrot cake, Granddaddy Purp (raspberry with chocolate-covered raspberries), Akon (dark chocolate and fudge), and Kahludacris (Kahlúa almond fudge). Can’t decide on a single flavor? Order a Fat Man Scoop Belgian waffle of the day ($13.50), topped with your choice of three scoops. 2400 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 786-659-4541; mrkreamwynwood.com.

Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods (11)
Elena Vivas

9. The kamikaze at Sushi Kong. Dive into the chocolate kamikaze, an ice-cream bar wedged headfirst into a thick pool of chocolate fondant with a healthy layer of Nutella ($15). 3000 Coral Way, Miami; 305-815-6330; sushikongmiami.com

Miami's Ten Best Stoner Foods (12)
Courtesy Bocas House

10. Tres leches milkshake at Bocas HouseThe tres leches milkshake ($15.99) is made with Venezuelan chicha (a rice pudding drink) topped with ice cream in a waffle cone crowned with a slice of tres leche cake, all bathed in condensed milk. Each milkshake comes with its own plate and spoons so diners can deconstruct and eat what is actually three desserts in one. 10200 NW 25th St., #101, Doral; 786-401-7071; bocashouse.com.

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