This weekend you've got your choices cut out for you. We've got a three-way tie for your affections when it comes to major happenings, along with some other fun food and drink-related stuff.
Whether you're into beer and retro music, candy, getting your Cinco de Mayo on early, or putting on your finest hat and watching the ponies -- there's a party for you. Fun starts now!
See also: Ten Best Margaritas in Miami
Brew at the Zoo
What's wilder than the opportunity to sample over 100 local and international beers? The opportunity to sample them in close proximity of tigers and gorillas!
New Times' Brew at the Zoo returns this Saturday, May 3 with unlimited free beer samples, great food for sale, and...Vanilla Ice! So, break out those acid-wash jeans and Ninja Turtles t-shirt (there was a reason why you never threw those out) and come down to Zoo Miami for the wildest time ever.
Brew at the Zoo takes place at Zoo Miami this Saturday, May 3, from 8 to 11 p.m. Regular-priced tickets until Friday, May 2, cost $40 for general admission and $75 for the VIP experience; tickets at the gate during the event cost $50 for general admission and $80 for VIP. The event is 21 and older, rain or shine. Visit newtimesbrewatthezoo.com for more info.
Derby Day: Time for Hats and Bourbon
On Saturday, May 3 at 6:24 p.m., the fastest, most beautiful three year-olds will take to the starting gate for what's known as the fastest two minutes in sports -- the Kentucky Derby. If you're already on your way to Louisville, bring us home some Bourbon Balls, please. If you're staying in Miami, break out your big hat and head to one of these Derby watch parties where you can sip mint juleps and root for your favorite horse.
See also: Kentucky Derby Watch Parties in Miami: Big Hats and Bourbon
Cinco de Mayo Starts on Cuatro de Mayo
In case you didn't get the memo, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day. But it is celebrated as a Mexican heritage and pride day in parts of Mexico -- plus it's a reason to break out the margaritas and the mariachis and have a party -- right?
Since Cinco de Mayo comes out on a Monday, chef Ralph Pagano has decided to turn the holiday into a two-day party at his Naked Taco restaurant at the Dream South Beach hotel. Starting Sunday, May 4 at noon, come celebrate with a complimentary pineapple smash, made with pineapple-infused tequila. Specials include $5 frozen margaritas, carne asada and elote fresh from the grill, and a pinata filled with candy (and other non-PG treats). Oh, and we forgot the best part....
Sexy Mariachis! That's right! Hot girls playing classic Mexican tunes. And luchador wrestling...by...um....Bad Boy Brian the Midget and his friend. Hey - don't blame us for being un-PC - that's his name. Entertainment starts around 3 p.m. both Sunday and Monday and the party lasts until about midnight both days.
Sunday Supper at Dolce Italian
You've partied hard all weekend, so it's time to wind down with a good old-fashioned family-style meal. Best part of all? You don't actually have to chow down with your crazy family -- friends are just as welcome to join you at the table -- or you can invite a "hamster dad" and some goth named Gor-don like in those weird Sprint commercials.
In any event, every Sunday evening at Dolce Italian, starting at 6 p.m., you can get an insane amount of food created by chef Paolo Dorigato for $35 per person ($50 with wine), not including tax and tip. The table will get four courses of seemingly endless plates to share including pizza, meatballs, pasta, NY strip steak, and more. Save room for dessert (if you can) because the budino is to die for. What's the catch? Only that your table has a minimum of four people...and that you leave your hamster-dad at home.
Celebrate the Wizard of Oz at Dylan's Candy Bar
It's hard to believe that The Wizard of Oz is celebrating its 75th anniversary. Dorothy's trippy visit to Munchkinland and her run-ins with the Wicked Witch still seem fresh and relevant today. To celebrate the Scarecrow getting his brain in the sweetest way possible, Dylan's Candy Bar is throwing an Oz-themed party to celebrate their new Wizard of Oz treats.
On Sunday, May 4 from noon - 4 p.m., head out to the Lincoln Road candy-wonderland and enjoy mini-manicure stations, a ruby slipper station, where you can bedazzle your own "pair" of slippers, a photo experience with costumes and props, and (of course) candy. Plus, The first 50 people at the event who tweet or post about "The Wizard of Oz" collection using #DylansWOZ will also receive a special "The Wizard of Oz" 75th Anniversary prize.
Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.
Follow Short Order on Facebook, on Twitter @Short_Order, and Instagram @ShortOrder.