When we heard about Angela "Big Ang" Raiola, opening an outpost of her Drunken Monkey on South Beach, we were pretty psyched. After all, we could all use a little more Staten Island in our lives.
Then we heard the bar (called Miami Monkey) and its inhabitants (called Monkey Girls) would be filmed for a reality show on VH1. Wow, we thought! What a great way to put our best collective foot forward and show the world how classy and beautiful Ocean Drive is.
Ummm...then we saw the promo clips for the show.
Bar fights, binge drinking, and boobs. Lots and lots of boobs. So many boobs, you would think the show's sponsor was the Premiere Center for Cosmetic Surgery.
This show is going to be awesome! It makes Jersey Shore look like the Brady Bunch and the Real Housewives of Miami look like the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
With lines like "This isn't Staten Island...this is South Bitch...ho"; "What the f**k is wrong wit everybody today"; "The monkey on the boobie"; and (our favorite) "My husband is away for murder...felony murder" -- we're already smitten!
Miami Monkey premieres on VH1 this Sunday at 10 p.m. We're going to hunker down with some popcorn and a bottle of Cuervo and tune in for sure! Watch a preview here:
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And if you think you know how to make a "Dark and Stormy" you're obviously not aware of the Staten Island-meets-Miami version: