Lady Gaga's A Very Gaga Thanksgiving: Ten Celebrities That Should Never Do a Holiday Show
Lady Gaga just announced her new holiday special, A Very Gaga Thanksgiving. The show will air on ABC on Thanksgiving day, November 24, and will feature Tony Bennett and Katie Couric. If that's not bizarre enough, Gaga is set to perform "White Christmas" and chef Art Smith will also drop in to share some recipes including
his holiday classic, deep-fried turkey and waffles.
To be honest, we're totally tuning in to this special (it sure beats the Osmond Family), but we couldn't help but put together a list of celebrities that we'd love to see do a holiday special.
Santa, if you're reading this, forget the sled and the Easy Bake Oven, we want to see holiday specials from these celebrities:
10. Charlie Sheen
Charlie's been laying low for a while, so it's time he made a comeback. What better way than with A Very Warlock Christmas ?
In the show, Sheen can rise from the proverbial ashes that the
now-losing Two and a Half Men reduced him to and make merry with his
goddesses. Oh, and Charlie? Frosty the Snowman is the name of a beloved
children's story, not the name of a coke dealer in the valley. Winning!
Vick would make a great choice for a holiday special.
America loves a comeback story and who better than Vick? He went from
star quarterback to convicted felon to star quarterback again. We can't
wait to see Vick's duet of "Jingle Bells" with those famous barking dogs.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
We think we've got a real shot enticing this
pint-sized celeb into hosting a Christmas special along with the rest of
the cast of Jersey Shore. Just imagine the fun skits where Snooki
gets a job at Santa's Toy Factory and gets caught smushing with the
elves. We'll hang onto every word of Snooki's recipe corner, where the
diminutive diva shows us how to make Jell-O shots for family and friends. And we'll get a tear as she sings the holiday classic, "All I Want For
Christmas is A Gorilla Juice Head Guido."
Since Bella and Edward are finally tying the knot (and
having an undead child), we think its time for a Twilight Christmas. We
think the Cullen clan sets the perfect example of what the holidays
represent: a time when vampire, werewolf and human can overlook their
centuries-long hatred and come together for one evening.
We all miss Tony, Carmela and the gang, so in the grand
tradition of television families, we're campaigning for a Soprano's
Family Christmas. We can't wait to watch the family feast on gabbagool,
roast peppers, and Chanti, courtesy of sponsor Satriele's Pork Shop
and Teamster's Union Local 39. We're especially looking forward to
Tony's interpretation of A Christmas Carol, where he's visited by three
ghosts: Big Pussy, Christopher, and his Ma!
Thanksgiving and Tiger Woods just go together. After all,
it was Thanksgiving night, 2009 when Tiger Woods rammed his car into a
fire hydrant, a tree, and a hedge outside his Orlando home and crashed
both his Escalade and his marriage. A holiday special is just what Tiger
needs to regain his wholesome image with big-name sponsors like Nike.
Even though Woods claims he's a Buddhist, we don't think he follows it
that closely. After all, we never heard of the Dalai Lama banging the
waitress at IHOP.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
There's some real talent in this
group of women and we think they'd come up with one awesome Christmas
special. Just look at the cast: Kandi is a singer/songwriter, Nene is
an ex-stripper, and Kim's breasts are as real as Santa Claus! This is
one party we won't be tardy for!
While some mom groups claim Manson is responsible for
their teen's behavior, we see things differently. Hidden somewhere
between those weird f**king eyes that haunt us in our dreams, there's a
shy young man who loves magical reindeer. Besides, Manson's songs like "Antichrist Superstar" and the cover Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" are just crying out to be the new Christmas classics.
We admit this might be a stretch, but work with us on
this one. Though communists don't generally like religious holidays,
we've got a winter festival that's perfect for Castro: Festivus! The
holiday celebrated by Seinfeld's George Costanza comes to Cuba with a
rollicking music-filled extravaganza as Fidel and Raul Castro celebrate
the people's holiday with special musical guests the Buena Vista Social
Club. Viva La Rudolph!
Sure they're overexposed, but we'd love to see the
whole loving family dressed in white, singing outside some beautiful
chalet in Aspen ... oops sorry. We think E! already booked it.
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