Google Recipes: We Typed in "Penis" So You Don't Have To
I love Google Recipes, the new search engine for cooks. Instead of Googling "pizza" and getting 300,000 places that deliver, the results will only include ways to actually make a pizza. Great idea!
Hmmmm, I thought, If it works for "pizza," would it work for "penis"? Sure enough, Google came back with nine penis recipes. A search for "vagina" got back really only one recipe (for a tropical cock....tail).
Here are some of the best recipes I found:
If Googling testicles is funny, Googling moose testicles is hill-arr-e-ous -- especially when you come up with a recipe from Food Network, no less. Too bad there were no moose testicle demos at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival.
I could make all kinds of jokes about this Jewish recipe, but why not let the recipe speak for itself? The directions state you should "scald the penis" and "remove the scum." That's why Jewish men make great husbands -- they're scared witless! Now I'll always wonder what my grandmother was serving me when she said "just eat, just eat."
Look, it doesn't really matter if Cock a Leekie Soup is really only a traditional Scots soup made with chicken and leeks. It sounds really dirty and that's all that matters.
One part Tuaca, one part Malibu, one part pineapple juice, this is a recipe that sounds worse than it is. Here's a hint ladies - serve this drink to your date. If he doesn't like it, dump him immediately. You'll thank me later.
This recipe throws Mad Cow Disease caution to the wind and asked the age-old question: If zombies love brains, why can't I?
Get the Food & Drink Newsletter
Our weekly guide to Miami dining includes food news and reviews, as well as dining events and interviews with chefs and restaurant owners.
More Food & Drink News
- Your Guide to a Vegan Valentine's Day in Miami
Tue., Mar. 1, 8:00pm
Fri., Mar. 18, 8:00pm
Sat., Mar. 19, 8:00pm
Tue., Mar. 22, 8:00pm
- Junior's Iconic New York Cheesecake Coming to South Florida
- Bento Boxes Are for Masochists