January 14, 2010 | 1:00pm
Brazil is bad-ass. So much so, the world decided to name a total crotch-waxing process -- the Brazilian -- after the country's citizens. It's also the land that gave us Pelé and a thousand other soccer phenoms, Rio's O Cristo Redentor statue, Bob Burnquist, Bonde do Rolê, and sex celebrity Watermelon Woman, whose delicious ass is the exact size and shape (and taste?) of a nice, ripe citrullus lanatus.
Then there's the caipirinha, the Federative Republic of Brazil's boozy national pride. It's a tart, sweet, strong blend of lime, sugar, and cachaça
. Three caipirinhas in 15 minutes and you're as high as O Cristo. So it's a rad development that Miami's downtown denizens finally have an authentic Brasileiro spot, Botequim Carioca
, where they can indulge their caipi-craziness.
You can get the classic caipirinha for seven bucks. Or you can ask bartender Leonardo Torres to mix one of Botequim's $8 mod jobs, such as the caipiroska (lime, sugar, vodka) and caipisake (lime, sugar, sake). The best time for this kind of boozing, though, is Thursday and Friday from 5 to 8 p.m., when the bar slings these bebidas alcoólicas for half-price. So go forth and slam three in 15 -- it'll make you wanna do a bicycle kick to baile funk to melon grab.