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Fried Lobster and a Lap Dance: Miami's Best Strip Club Food

Pop quiz: What are strip clubs good for, other than watching hard-working girls dance for their college tuition? In Miami, they're also a hidden spot to find some good eats.

No lukewarm, all-you-can-eat buffets here -- just good, honest cuisine served with a smile and a lap dance. OK, so these places won't be winning any awards for their food anytime soon, but at least you have a good reason to check out your local gentlemen's club. As if you needed another excuse to hit a strip club.

3. Fried lobster at Tootsie's Cabaret

Rumor has it that Tootsie's used to offer a great lobster roll (Tootsie Roll anyone?), but times have changed and the economy has strengthened a bit, so it was apparently time for an upgrade. If you're sitting in the Champagne Room and get a hankering for some expensive crustacean, order a fried lobster ($17) for the full VIP experience. Hey, at a strip club, it's better to get lobster than crabs.
Fried Lobster and a Lap Dance: Miami's Best Strip Club Food

2. The take-out window at Goldrush

This strip club never sleeps. Open 24 hours Wednesday through Monday morning, Goldrush offers breakfast, lunch, and dinner because, hey, any time is a good time to hit a strip club. The best meal here, however, is served outside via the take-out window, where you can grab a burger and fries without even going inside. Conveniently located across the street from Club Space, Goldrush is your go-to spot when you stumble out of the nightclub midtrip. A classy evening indeed.

Fried Lobster and a Lap Dance: Miami's Best Strip Club Food

1. Barbecue from Skebo's Kitchen at Club Lexx

Skebo's isn't so much a kitchen as a tent in the parking lot, but what it lacks in semantics it makes up for in juicy Georgia-style barbecue. While his wife runs the kitchen inside, Johnny "Sugar Ray Jay" Floyd mans the grill outside, slinging a juicy chicken sandwich with honey-mustard barbecue sauce ($10 with two sides) and sloppy ribs to hungry dancers and locals. Try this line: "Honey, I wasn't at the strip club -- I was getting us dinner." You're welcome.

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