Typically the life cycle of a celebrity is pretty predictable. Before becoming famous, there's the usual batch of embarrassing commercials in order to break into show business and pay the rent without resorting to prostitution, selling drugs, or tending bar. After celebrity comes knocking, the commercials are somehow beneath them because they're serious actors.
They then proceed to sneak over to Japan, where the Japanese hand over big, fat paychecks to those serious actors willing to do the most incredibly embarrassing things -- as long as it's on the other side of the planet.
Here are some of the craziest commercials we could find, starring celebs who wouldn't dare sell Apple Jacks or Budweiser in the States, but feel totally free to drive giant bunnies around in convertibles in Tokyo.
5. Sean Connery is the ultimate James Bond (Roger Moore fans, please refrain from commenting). He's the guy who can shoot three international spies, make love to a beautiful woman and sip a martini -- at the same time. But in this weirdo commercial, Connery is seen driving around a giant bunny and eating yogurt.
4. Remember when Britney Spears was cute, innocent and not crazy like a loon? Yup, we do too. This commercial for gummy candies harkens back to a blonder, gentler Britney before Kfed and rehab.
3. If it seems like Japanese commercials make less sense than American commercials, that's because they do. Take this one, where a middle-aged Michael J. Fox plays a child-man who trims a hedge to look like a giant gummy bear. Because that makes us want to drink whatever energy drink he's selling.
2. It seems poor Jennifer Aniston is unlucky in love even in a Japanese commercial. Hey Jen, maybe you should go back to hawking water.
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1. You gotta hand it to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Between making movies, trying to fit in with the Kennedys, being Governor of California and banging the hired help, he found the time to fly over to Japan to make tons of truly weird, schlocky commercials for a quick paycheck. In this one for some energy elixir, Arnold is a genie in a bottle. What would our three wishes be? (1) Stop the crazy laughing, (2) please go back in the bottle, (3) get this insane picture out of our heads.