In a match made in drunk heaven, Miami Metrozoo and the Miami New Times have paired up for Brew at the Zoo. What took us so long? I mean exotic animals and booze go hand in hand. Our sister paper, New Times Broward-Palm Beach (erroneously reported by the Miami Herald as a Miami New Times event) has been doing a similar event, Beerfest, for the past 13 years.
But now it's Miami's time to enjoy the hoppy goodness. So to make Saturday's event easier on you, we've compiled a small guide on everything you need to know about Brew at the Zoo.
1. Metrozoo is techincally off-limits.
Shocking? Not really. The park doesn't necessarily want drunk people wandering around after dark disturbing the animals. And we are pretty sure beers and tigers don't mix unless you want to become kitty chow.
But don't fret, you will be able to return with your ticket at a later date and get 50 percent off admission to the zoo until September 30. If you are feeling like you need to be one with the animals, you can apply up to $32 of your ticket purchase toward a membership which start at $45.
2. VIP tickets are sold out.
Sorry, your chance to buy $65 VIP tickets and enjoy all the extra perks, including hors d'oeuvres and liquor, is done. And no, there won't be an opportunity to upgrade once you get to the event.
3. Drink responsibly, take the shuttle.
We don't want you to follow in the famous footsteps of Carlos Bertonatti or Donte Stallworth, so there will be a free shuttle service to the nearby Holiday Inn Express every 20 to 30 minutes. Yea, it's no Setai, but forgoing trendiness is a small price to pay in avoiding a DUI. You can find other nearby hotels here.
In addition, taxis will be on standby to rape your bank account if you need to get back to downtown or South Beach. Remember, it will still cheaper than a DUI.
4. Release your inner party animal during the Call of the Wild competition.
The zoo wants to hear your best mating call -- just make sure it sounds like some sort of animal. We imagine prizes will be handed out. What exactly? Stop asking so many questions. Competition starts at 7:30 p.m. on the event stage.
5. Yes, there will be food.
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SHOW ME HOW
We wouldn't serve you copious amounts of alcohol and not feed you anything to soak it up. While food is free in the VIP section, the proletariat will have to shell out more money for nourishment. Taste of the Wild will be catering and providing the food at the event.
And last but not least, here is the official event map for Brew at the Zoo. Click on the image to download the PDF.