Too bummed to keep watching the World Cup because your team is a pack of chumps save for one bearded messiah? Suck it up, amigo. Practically every match this tournament has been a nail biter, and they're only getting better today with two intraregional matchups sure to bring the ratchet out of every abuelita and grandmére.
However, the undisputed best place to watch Saturday's match between Brazil and Colombia, from Estádio Castelão in Fortaleza, is Boteco on 79th Street. Let's be honest; pan de bono and pão de queijo are essentially the same thing. Argue as you may, but it's clear Brazilians and Colombians both love their cheese bread.
Yet while Miami Colombians, celebrating their country's two-nil rout of Uruguay last week seemed to shut down Brickell and took over Kukaramakara Café on South Miami Avenue, Brazilians have been causing joyous mayhem at Boteco.
Even before their tournament opening June 12 match against Croatia, managers locked the doors of the already packed restaurant. However, stranded fans, clad in yellow jerseys and green afro-wigs, stuck it out on the sidewalk in the pouring rain, watching the game through the small splits that occasionally opened in between flags.
Inside, waitresses' emotions bounced between the excitement of a pass connecting to Neymar, and the frustration of a drunken, raging customer dumping a full caipirinha into a basket of kibe frito. The once crispy bulghur wheat shells filled with ground meat head for the garbage while she heads back to the kitchen.
As soon as the halftime whistle blows, a DJ turns on pounding samba and most of the place stands up to dance. Even little old ladies shimmy their hips in their seats, slugging down Coronas.
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Sometime during the second half that same DJ breaks up a fight between two Brazil fans. Cause? Unknown. Yes sir, this is where you want to be.