Boozeware: From Wine Lock to Booze Belly to Personal Breathalyzer
Homegirl getting her booze on.
Hungover? Haven't you ever heard the best cure is a shot of what got you drunk in the first place? That used to be the only solution for those who love booze. But now there is so much more that every lover of alcohol ought to have for yesterday, today, tomorrow, and all year round. We'll call it Boozeware.
How annoying is it when your drink gets watered down? It doesn't taste the same and unless you're a coaster freak, it leaves watermarks on your table, bar, or counter. Eliminate that with these re-freezable stainless steels ice cubes that look like they belong in Mad Men. Don Draper would certainly use these to avoid diluting his neat whiskey. An essential for the avid booze drinker. Frozen water is out, stainless steel is in. And don't worry, they're made with non-toxic gel.
Remember when you were a teenager and went into mom and dad's wine collection hoping they wouldn't notice? Well it looks like someone caught on, because something's been done to stop it. A wine lock. Works for the hard stuff too. Lock up your booze so no one can drink it, except you. If you're able to remember your code, that is. We suggest picking something simple and that will be easy to remember under the influence. Like 1-2-3-4 ...
Whoever came up with this is a genius, or an alcoholic. We've all been guilty of drinking a bit too much and breaking a glass of wine. Keep that from happening with these silicone wine glasses that will be sure to withstand even the wildest of parties. Throw them in your bag and take them on a picnic or to the beach. They can even survive a trip through the dishwasher. No wonder women love silicone so much.
This is a real website, and it's designed to sell only booze bellies, which are just as cool as they sound. While the picture above may be misleading, booze belly is for above the waist. It holds 750 ml of your favorite booze and allows for easy-access. A one size fits all waistband hides the contraption under your shirt. Perfect to take just about anywhere, even the club. Is anyone really going to ask what you've got under your shirt? If they do, just reply "it's my booze belly." Chances are they'll feel like they just insulted you and turn around. That's when you drink till your booze belly can't take it anymore.
Safety first, even when it comes to drinking. Especially when drinking is involved. Every booze loving boozaholic should always and foremost drink responsibly. Only problem is responsibility usually goes out the window after a couple of drinks, but it doesn't have to when you've got this handy personal breathalyzer. In just 25 seconds it will digitally read your blood alcohol content, so if you're over the legal limit (that's 0.08% BTW) you can drink something and chill out. Preferably water, unless you're not driving. Then make sure to carry this to test the designate driver and keep you from getting into any unwanted trouble.
Follow Carla on Twitter @ohcarlucha.
Get the Dining Newsletter
The week's top local food news and events, plus interviews with chefs and restaurant owners, dining tips, and a peek at our print review.