In America, going to the movies on Christmas day is a tradition right up there with hanging stockings, drunken family fights and tryptophan comas. After all, what else is there to do when the inevitable post-presents boredom sets in?
This year, the pickings are particularly alluring, with Les Miserables, Django Unchained and Parental Guidance all hitting theaters on December 25. If you're anything like us, you've already picked your seats at Paragon Grove and stocked up on tissues (we're talking to you, Les Mis fangirls). And a movie's not a movie without the appropriate snack supply, but who wants to pay $12 for a bag of popcorn after breaking the bank for presents?
Not us. So here are our suggestions on how and what to sneak into the theater on Christmas Day, depending on your flick of choice. Happy watching.
The first step in your sneaky adventure is to procure a large purse or backpack. If you've got a mom with you, even better, because it's always excusable to carry absurdly enormous baggage when kids are involved. If you're a dude, don a coat with deep pockets. Then find your film of choice below and shop away:
Les Miserables
There's already talk of Oscar wins by Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway, and the damn film hasn't even hit the screens yet. Legions of obsessed Les Mis fans the world over are waiting with baited breath and tearing up over trailers. It's gonna be an emotional shitshow. So what to pack for snacking during a film about the French Revolution?
- A bottle of Verget Côtes du Luberon Rosé and some plastic cups. This vino's twist off top will make for easy imbibing when the lights go down. Pick some up at Total Wine or Sunset Corners.
- A fresh baguette and some Camembert. Pre-slicing both is a wise choice. Milam's Market has a killer cheese section.
Django Unchained
The latest Quentin Tarantino creation, this revenge flick is said to be unsurprisingly bloody (some are saying it's the most violent film of the year). Set two years before the Civil War, Jamie Foxx and Leonardo DiCaprio go head to head in stylistic Tarantino fashion. So what to eat while watching a movie circa 1859?
- Bourbon. Pour it in a flask or pack some mini bottles. Maker's Mark dates back to the 1700s, so the red-wax topped spirit is an appropriate pick. Pack a Coke for mixer or drink it straight, like our ancestors did. Score some at Flanigan's.
- Beef jerky. Easy to eat in the theater and a favorite of Civil War era Americans and later, soldiers. Score some at any local convenience store.
Parental Guidance
We've all missed the antics of Billy Crystal and Bette Midler. It's been a long, humorless spell since City Slickers and The First Wives Club. Their new grandparents-know-best comedy romp is like a who's who of '80s and '90s actors (Tom Everett Scott anyone?). So what to eat in honor of these two comedy legends?
- A deli sandwich. Billy Crystal was, after all, a part of arguably the most famous food scene in movie history: Sally's lunchtime orgasm. Score one from Jerry's, Roasters and Toasters or Josh's, and bring it along. Just try to keep the noise level down if it inspires a Sally-style reaction.
- Sushi. Scenes from a Mall might be one of the most underrated comedies of all time. And the $1,100 worth of anniversary sushi for Woody and Bette was such a waste. Pay tribute to their love and score a box of fresh to-go fish at Whole Foods or Sushi Maki.
Follow Hannah on Twitter @hannahalexs.
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