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Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

Vintage bacon bikini babe - Gaga wasn't the first to wear meat.
Vintage bacon bikini babe - Gaga wasn't the first to wear meat.

When Lady Gaga wore her meat dress to the VMAs, it was considered a bold move. But really, people have been wearing food for a long time.

Consider live sushi models, who make a living having people eat off of their curvy bodies. And we're thinking the first fur coat was discovered by some cavewoman who decided that an animal was as good to wear as it was to eat.

Because everyone loves bacon, we decided to "cure-ate" (get it? bacon is cured) a collection of our favorite bacon attire. Bring your appetite for fashion and take a gander at these delicious creations.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

10. These nails really show devotion to the art of makin' bacon, right down to the marbling of a slice of porky goodness. The only disappointment is there were no painted toes -- imagine the irony of little piggies painted like, well, pig parts?

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

9. If you recall how your parents humiliated you by making you wear your sister's hand-me-downs (and you're a hetero male), imagine the emotional scarring these kids must have today. We think your mom deserves an "I love you" call.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

8. This gives new meaning to the term "meathead." We especially appreciate the matching Hitler mustache made of bacon.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

7. The bacon bra is the perfect wedding-night attire. Just make sure to avoid the pack of wild dogs following you back to the hotel.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

6. We can't help thinking how much better the prom scene from Carrie would have been if her date had been wearing one of these bacon tuxedos.

 

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

5. Another bacon bra, this time with fried bacon. The difference between a raw bacon bra and a fried bacon bra: The fried bacon bra has more support -- and flavor.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

4. Look, if we're going to humiliate ourselves, what makes you think our best friend escapes unscathed?

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

3. Pebbles Flintstone grows up, makes the cover of PlayCave magazine, and becomes one of Hugh Hefner's first girlfriends.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

2. What's better than a girl in a bacon bikini? Two girls in bacon bikinis.

Bacon Bikinis to Tuxedos: Ten Ways To Wear Your Meat

1. In a very special episode of The Office, Michael Scott returns to Dunder Mifflin to enforce a dazzling new dress code.

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