MORE

Andy Rooney's Five Best Food Rants (Video)

Andy Rooney eats his vegetables
Andy Rooney eats his vegetables
CBS

Andy Rooney, the famous 60 Minutes commentator who spent 30 years doing essays for the Sunday evening news magazine, died on November 4th at the age of 92.

Rooney retired just a month ago on October 2. According to 60 Minutes, Andy wrote and filmed 1,097 essays for 60 Minutes. The essays, which closed the weekly show, covered most every topic imaginable, from war to god to dogs. One topic that got a lot of attention was food. Rooney was especially fond of holding a mirror to companies that practiced deceptive marketing practices.

In fact, one of Rooney's four Emmy awards was for a story in which he revealed that there was no Mrs. Smith behind Mrs. Smith's Pies.

We've found five of Andy Rooney's best essays on food. In them, like most of his essays, he doesn't say anything particularly new -- he just says what we've been thinking all along. That's why we'll miss him.



5. Andy Rooney Bakes a Brownie
Andy asks why food doesn't look like the picture on the box. Getting out a ruler, he wonders where the food companies get a two inch raspberry or a mega blueberry. Andy then bakes the world's flattest brownies, swearing he followed the directions.



4. Andy Rooney Goes Shopping For Fruit
Andy peruses the fruit aisle at a New York market. What does he observe? Lemons are versatile - you can do everything with them except eat them and tomatoes are a vegetable. No matter what anyone says.


3. Andy Rooney Looks at Labels
Andy reads some food labels and is surprised to find what's not there. No strawberries or cream in his strawberry and cream pie filling, no lemon in the lemon jello, and no Betty Crocker in the kitchen. That's a crock!


2. Andy Rooney Goes on a Diet
Andy plans to lose 20 pounds. Unlike people who go on the popcorn diet, Andy's got the secret to dieting - eat less. Or stop eating ice cream. Or move to Japan.



1. Andy Rooney And Bottled Water
Andy can't figure out a few things about water, namely when does a virgin spring lose its virginity and why do all the women at CBS carry water with them wherever they go? Andy then starts out on a lucrative second career -- Rooney Water.

Follow Miami

New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.


Sponsor Content