If the Heat wins tonight, it will be a citywide fist punch to the fart box of all the haters around the world. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook can go back to wearing their lensless glasses in the obscurity of Oklahoma City. And Charles Barkley can quietly choke on his stupid diet meals.Miami can' ... More >>
I done did it now. Two weeks ago, I announced in this space that I was planning to run for the open commission seat in Surfside, the sleepy beach hamlet of corruption and weirdness ruled by my obscenely overpaid nemesis, town attorney Lynn Dannheisser.
Qualifying to run -- including collecting the ... More >>
This postapocalyptic job market has turned working men into the wolves from The Grey. Go near our employment, and we'll devour your testicles while our buddy claws out your eyeballs. So we can't imagine what it's like to lose a hard-earned job to a garishly colored, thrashing, two-story, fan-powe ... More >>
Coach Erik Spolestra: "Will lose championships for food."With the player lockout putting the 2011-2012 NBA season into question, it's only a matter of time before the league's poor, mistreated multi-millionaires are forced to pick up second jobs for rent money, car payments and general "make it r ... More >>
After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>
LeBron James has taken a lot of shit this year. Mainly because he decided to exercise his perfectly legal right to join another team through free agency. SO EVIL! And then he went and celebrated his signing with the Heat in front of the local fans with a fire works show. SO IMPERIOUS!He's also ha ... More >>
The Miami Heat shot 39 percent from the floor, went 5-for-23 from the three-point line, got only 16 total points from their bench, zero points from their starting point guard, and 1 point from their starting center.But all everyone is going to remember from their 86-82 Game 4 loss to the Philadel ... More >>
The Philadelphia 76ers jumped to an early lead, keeping the Miami Heat at bay for much of Game 3.And then the Heat said enough of that already and rallied their way to a 100-94 comeback win to take a commanding 3-0 series lead.The Heat should know that, although we fans like it when they win, we' ... More >>
"Oof! You like granite countertops, CP3?"Big Z demands that you pay him two months in advance if you want to come into his house. That's not some strangled And 1 axiom. Zydrunas Ilgauskas-- the 7-foot-3 totem pole at the end of the Miami Heat bench-- has a beautiful townhouse he wants to re ... More >>
Dwyane Wade's magic goggles seemed to run out of awesome juice in the fourth quarter of Thursday night's 93-88 loss to the New York Knicks.Because after Wade started the game hitting pretty much every shot he threw up (except his free throws... hit those goddamn free throws, D-Wade!!), he missed ... More >>
And Karmapocalypse 2011 continues.While LeBron James was all healed up from his ankle injury and back on the court, it was Chris Bosh who was forced to sit out with a bum ankle. So we all got a glimpse into a Miami Heat team sans Bosh. And the result was a 93-89 loss at home to the Atlanta Hawks ... More >>
In 1989, the Miami Heat snapped it's 17-game losing streak by defeating the L.A. Clippers, and earning the franchise its first ever win. Last night, the Clippers snapped the Heat's 13-consecutive road wins streak, beating the Heat 111 - 105 at the Staples Center. Synergy? Coincidence? Or..... KAR ... More >>
The Miami Heat overcame a raucous Salt Lake City crowd and a few relentless Utah Jazz rallies and came away with the 111-98 victory against the vaunted Jazz last night. It was the team's sixth straight victory after their much ballyhooed loss to the Dallas Mavericks three weeks ago when LeBr ... More >>
If you're the Mayor of Miami-Dade County and you're facing a well-funded recall effort, how do you drum up some good will? With all eyes on the Miami Heat, writing an open love letter to the 305 dream team for ESPN.com isn't a bad idea. That's what Carlos Alvarez has done.
Let's face it: The world wants to know if LeBron James' former teammate Delonte West boinked LeBron's mom. Even if you didn't want to know it before you read the previous sentence, now that you're aware it's a possibility, some dirty, hidden part of you-- your spleen?-- wants to know.
This week, th ... More >>
We here at Riptide like the sordid side of things. And while we're hoping that, come the end of the 2010-11 NBA season, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh are lobbing a championship trophy to each other as they ride dolphins through Biscayne Bay, we're also hoping for a bit of off-the- ... More >>
Even after 14 long years, Pat Riley is a man who gets what
he wants. Why? Because he's Pat Frickin' Riley, that's why. The Miami Heat signed free
agent forward Juwan Howard yesterday to the veteran's minimum of $1.4 million.
Back in 1996, and with much fanfare, Howard signed a $101 million deal ... More >>