Your social media feeds have probably been soaked full of complaints about the monsoons that decided to hit Miami today and on Saturday. LeBron James was no different. He Instagrammed pictures of flooding around his neighborhood, and the National Weather Service took note. They issued an official al ... More >>
April Fool's Day may have past, but it's no joke that you're still broke. Now that the weekend is here, you wish you would have spared all that cash you spent on trying to fool your significant other into thinking you had a sex change - it was a horrible prank idea from the start, but hey, that's wh ... More >>
Last Thursday, a triple homicide worthy of Michael Bay lit up the Las Vegas Strip when a gunman in a black Range Rover peppered bullets into a rapper driving a Maserati, sending the luxury car careening into a taxi, which exploded right in front of Bally's Hotel. The rapper died, along with the cabb ... More >>
On Tuesday, a week and a day after Miami New Times published online a report describing hundreds of pages of records from the office of a Coral Gables clinic, Biogenesis, the first professional baseball players have acknowledged involvement with owner Anthony Bosch. In statements issued Tuesday to ... More >>
After New Times linked Alex Rodriguez to a local nutritionist who provided performance enhancing drugs to athletes early this week speculation has run rampant about his future. His camp however seems to want to make one thing clear: he's not retiring anytime soon.
The election was called shortly before midnight. Barack Obama had surpassed the 270 electoral votes needed to retain his position as Commander in Chief. But the real winner of the night was Twitter.According to Yahoo, President Obama's personal tweet, "We're all in this together. That's how we campa ... More >>
Halloween is here. You've probably got your costume hanging in the closet for tonight and the candy ready for those trick or treaters.Read also:- The Ten Worst Halloween Candies Ever- Halloween on Lincoln Road: Where to Eat With Your GhoulBut, if you're like us, the pumpkin sits at the doorstep unto ... More >>
See also "Fiona Apple Announces Concert at Fillmore Miami Beach on September 30." Even if every penny of your savings from that mid-'90s stint as a Lilith Fair roadie has run out, there's still no reason for all you Fiona Apple superfans to stay at home alone, scream-singing "Criminal" till your ey ... More >>
President Obama probably has the most stressful and figuratively back-breaking job in the country, right? Wrong. Scott Van Duzer, owner of Big Apple Pizza & Pasta in Fort Myers, took the back-breaking spotlight yesterday afternoon when Obama made an unscheduled pit stop at his pizza shop and Van D ... More >>
Miami's hottest new BBQ joint is Brother's Jimmy BBQ in Brickell. Short Order seems to love it, and it's owned by three former Miami Hurricanes players, including Jonathan Vilma. Everyone is welcome to try a bit of their Carolina-style barbecue. Everyone, that is, except for NFL Commissioner Roger G ... More >>
The University of Miami may be at the center of the Nevin Shapiro scandal, but it's not the only school that has had to deal with the fallout. That's because several coaches and staffers have since moved on to other programs.Today, University of Florida wide receivers coach and recruiting coordinato ... More >>
Today, the Miami New Times rolled out a new user profile platform dubbed My Voice Nation. Your voice -- and the opinions you voice in our comments section -- will now be amplified through a fancy new commenting program called Lifefyre ("live fire"). Read all about it below.
The Miami Heat take on the Indiana Pacers tonight in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It promises to be a fine basketball contest. The Heat are without the advantage of Chris Bosh. LeBron James is gonna go cobradick, and Rony Turiaf has promised to do more dancing. Nobody knows who's ... More >>
The racist smear campaign against Trayvon Martin has hit a stomach churning low. Gawker reports that a self proclaimed white supremicist using the internet handle "Klanklannon" has hacked into multiple email and social media accounts used by the deceased teen.
Maybe we just hang out with a bunch of unlovable, miserable bastards, but it seems like precious few of our friends are "booed" up in time for Valetines' Day. So, we're a little bit surprised that Yahoo! Travel has named Miami as one of America's 10 best cities for dating. Really? Maybe one Ameri ... More >>
Supermarkets have long been the domain of women, who traditionally do the grocery shopping. Walk through the aisles of any market and you'll see most items are targeted with women in mind -- floral-scented detergents designed to remind you of a soft summer rain, foods marked low-fat or sugar-free ... More >>
A few months ago, Yahoo! Sports' piece about claims made by convicted Ponzi schemer and Miami Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro put the phrase death penalty on a lot of folks' lips. As the months have passed, though, there's little indication that the NCAA's punishment will be so severe. Sure, the ... More >>
For a team that has had one of the lowest payrolls in the past few years and claimed they could only spend $155 million to build their own stadium, the Miami Marlins certainly seem to have a lot of money to be throwing around all of the sudden. After reports surfaced yesterday the team had offere ... More >>
Nevin Shapiro wishes he could wear my shorts for one day. The New Jersey-born Napoleon dubbed himself "Little Luke" in a so-called investigative report by Yahoo! Sports claiming all sorts of corrupt shit Shapiro committed while he was a booster of the University of Miami athletics program.The claim ... More >>
via Yahoo SportsEx-UM standout tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. balling with Nevin Shapiro.During the early segment of 560 WQAM's Michael Irvin show, Yahoo Sports investigative reporter Dan Wetzel gave his take on convicted Ponzi schemer and former University of Miami athletic booster Nevin Shapiro, who ... More >>
The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>
Wanna star in a faux snuff flick? Well, if you've been dying to die on film (or commit some kind of bloody crime in front of the camera), this might be your big break 'cause local psych-rock creeps Lil Daggers are currently seeking one girl and one guy for a supersecretive music video about mur ... More >>
We found out the mystery café that had it's soft opening earlier this week will be called Crumb on Parchment. Michelle Bernstein's momma is making the baked goods. Stay tuned for an interview with her soon.Coral Gables is getting a new eatery: Cinco. Cinco is due--wait for it--on May 5 (uh, yeah, t ... More >>
Radioboxer, the Readers' Choice winner for Best Band in New Times' 2009 Best of Miami issue, is now up for national recognition. I, for one, feel it's about time -- and you can help the fivesome along by voting for them in the current Dame Un Break contest sponsored by Yahoo! Musica and Tr3s.We'v ... More >>
We've seen some coke heads practically descend into a zombie-like state where they become completely devoid of normal human emotion and only fixate on their next fit like they were in a George Romero movie looking for brains (pure, uncut Bolivian marching brains). Well, now co ... More >>
Like most things strange, there's a booming market for Amazon Women in South Florida. Riptide came across the phenomenon back in 2008 when we learned: (1) Amazon Women are the size of NBA basketball players. (2) They get paid to make men feel small.(3)They hold private fetish sessions. Oh yeah. A ... More >>
Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland apparently has the biggest balls ever, or the littlest amount of tact and class possible. Because normal people would not ask prospective players if their moms were whores straight to their face.Ireland and the Fins brought in former Oklahoma State wide receive ... More >>
A petition to recall Mayor Carlos Alvarez fell short by just a few thousand signatures. [CBS4]Murdered tourist Paula Sladewski's sister is back in town looking for the culprit, and the award for the killer's arrest has been raised to $15,000. [NBCMiami]Yesterday's rain and flooding caused ... More >>
PlayboyThirty-year-old Jaime Edmondson has lived something of an interesting life. Once a member of Boca Raton's police force, she quit to become a cheerleader for the Miami Dolphins. She parlayed that to a stint as a contestant on the 14th season of The Amazing Race, and now she's been chosen as ... More >>
Mayoral candidate Tomas Regalado may be accused of not being able to deal with his personal finances (he claims to only be worth $5000 year after year, and once had his wages garnished for not paying taxes), but his campaign manager is doing a good job with his war chest. He's consistently out-raisi ... More >>
The Miami 21 zoning plan surprisingly was defeated last night, probably because Joe Sanchez wants to send a message he is not Manny Diaz's mini-me. [Herald]The suspect in the Sean Taylor murder case had previously pleaded guilty, but he's expected to try to withdraw that plea. [AP]Pictures ... More >>
Jacob KatelLychee, lychee, they're good for your self; the more you eat 'em the better your health. The better your health the better you feel, so eat some lychee with every meal. The lychee is a fruit native to China that grows well in humid, subtropical climates free of frost. No wonder that a sim ... More >>
Almost two months after the first case was reported, and about a month since anyone cared, the World Health Organization has declared swine flu is officially the first flu pandemic in 41 years!So far, H1N1 has killed 144 people, a small number compared to the millions who died during the last fl ... More >>
Today was Miami Herald's parent companies McClatchy Co.'s shareholders meeting. The troubled newspaper giant -- what newspaper giant isn't troubled? -- faces a tough road ahead, but all CEO Gary Pruitt had to offer was a slightly tweaked advertising strategy for the entire chain. According to Editor ... More >>
"It is harder and harder to find live pigs in Miami for tasty traditional Cuban cooking."
Dont blink -- you might miss it.
Are they going to fire us all?
From the issue of September 14, 2000
When Miami's most famous twerp hit the Internet, Web surfers went wild
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