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  • Blogs

    October 10, 2014

    WTF Florida Friday: How a Butt Dial Busted a Meth Ring

    A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This morning, that includes a meth-busting butt dial, bathroom beer chugging and the worst reason to call the cops.

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2014

    WTF Florida: Man Charged With Murder Because Police Accidentally Killed Someone Else

    A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes police pinning their shooting on someone else, a misguided grandma and the worst television commercial ever.

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2014

    Miami's Smallest Police Forces Got M16s, Armored Cars, and Grenade Launchers From Military

    Recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, have raised questions about the militarization of American police departments. When angry protesters took to the streets to demand justice, Ferguson police responded with force. Cops in riot gear fired tear gas and stun grenades at marchers. At least one officer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2014

    Miami Is the World Capital of What?

    Lots of cities claim to be the world capital of something or other. Las Vegas is the world capital of gambling. Nashville, the world capital of country music. New York can be called the world capital of finance, media, and culture. But what about Miami? Well, the most common answer is "world capit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 3, 2014

    The Ten Worst Things Tourists Do in Miami

    We love our tourists down here in Miami, if only because they keep a large chunk of our economy running. But like anything we love, they sometimes annoy us. As the barrage of summer break tourists pours into South Florida this holiday weekend, let's review the things that bother us most about our ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2014

    Miami's Ten Best Hidden Parks

    It's Earth Day, which at the very least means you should figure out some time to be outside and be one with nature today. Miami, of course, is the only major city sandwiched between two national parks (Everglades to the west, Biscayne to the east), but there's plenty of green space in between -- som ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2014

    Federal Agency: Bermuda Triangle Is Officially Not Supernatural

    Miami is bizarre enough of a place already that sometimes we forget it's one of three corners of the Bermuda Triangle, the purportedly supernatural stretch of the Atlantic Ocean where, according to myth, ships go missing under mysterious circumstances. Well, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Ag ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    Miami's Best Eats and Drinks this Weekend: Free Beer, Barbecue, and Mezcal

    This weekend is all about getting your freebies on. The only thing that tastes better than the most expensive caviar is the most expensive caviar when it's given to you for free -- amiright? For the next few days, enjoy free suds at Gramps, free barbecue from Sparky's Roadside Barbecue, free Mezcal ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 16, 2013

    Marlins Trade Miguel Cabrera: Revisiting The Worst Trade In Professional Sports History

    "We're watching one of the greatest right-handed hitters who ever lived." That's what an AL scout told ESPN's Jayson Stark this week for his new piece, titled "We are witnessing greatness," incidentally, about slugger Miguel Cabrera. The article details just what a ridiculous thing Miguel Cabrera ha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2013

    EDM's Five Most Annoying Buzzwords

    Whether you like it or not, dance music runs the world and therefore the cultural lexicon. We're going to go ahead and say that's a bad thing. Our hashtag-driven, buzz-worthy reality is giving us a headache, mostly because you dancing assholes can't stop saying the same shit over and over again. Y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Edible Flowers Made Easy According to Gabriele Marewski of Paradise Farms

    When it comes to cuisine, aesthetic appeal is half (or 1/4 of) the battle, just ask the Iron Chefs. And what's more aesthetically appealing than a delicate flower? Luckily, there are plenty of beautiful blossoms you can actually eat. Gabriele Marewski of Paradise Farms is the local expert on edible ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2012

    Five Food Traditions to Ring In the New Year

    While mentions of food around New Year's are often limited to diatribes about holiday overindulgence and plans to forego various edibles in the coming year - food also plays a pivotal role in the cultural introduction of a dawning year. Various countries and cultures around the world have specific ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2012

    The Five Things We Hate About Christmas (or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa) Dinner

    As a general rule, we're big fans of the holidays. Why? Because they involve eating gut-busting quantities of homemade food, scoring paid time off from work and drinking what would generally be unacceptable amounts of booze. But let's be honest - there are certain things about the holiday season t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2012

    Best Foods to Sneak Into the Movie Theater on Christmas Day

    In America, going to the movies on Christmas day is a tradition right up there with hanging stockings, drunken family fights and tryptophan comas. After all, what else is there to do when the inevitable post-presents boredom sets in? This year, the pickings are particularly alluring, with Les Miser ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2012

    Epcot's Alcohol: Drinking Around at the Booze Counters & Carts

    If you're over 21 and without offspring, Epcot is the ideal Disney destination. After all, their 11 international pavilions feature alcoholic treats from the countries of origin. From Jagermeister to champagne, you can get your buzz on all over the world. Read also: - Disney Treats Make You Fat, Sa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2012

    Art Basel Survival Kit: Red Bull and a 20-Year-Old Costume

    The week you've been waiting for all year has finally arrived. Art Basel has hit our sandy shores, and there's no stopping till the sun goes down Sunday. As when you go into any good battle (or party) you need to go prepared. So we've put together a list of the essentials you need to pack in your A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2012

    South Beach Tow Renewed for Second Season for Some Awful Reason

    South Beach Tow must be one of those shows that is so unbelievably stupid that the only reason people watch it is because they mindlessly stare at their own television screen wondering how crap like this is actually broadcast before falling into a deep depression while mulling ov ... More >>

  • News

    April 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    October 28, 2011

    Eight Reasons Why Florida is a Real-Life Horror Movie

    photo by Logan FazioLincoln Road zombie walks got nothin' on real life in Florida.Time for a little Halloween honesty: Florida is terrifying. Serial killers Ted Bundy and Gary Ray Bowles have stalked our towns. Prehistoric, sharp-fanged creatures circle our swamps and oceans, hungry for blood. Real- ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2011

    Miami is Biblically F*@ked: Caribbean Crazy Ants, Dragon Flies, and Seven Other SoFla Plagues

    ​In the beginning was the swamp. Then God said, "Let there be Miami." And there was. Then he said, "Gimme some beaches with bikini-clad models while I'm at it." And there was that too. All was good.But sometime during the past century, we Miamians went way wrong. Maybe it was the coke or boob impl ... More >>

  • Culture

    August 25, 2011
  • Blogs

    July 23, 2011

    New York City Cop Shot On South Beach, Police Still Looking For Suspects

    photo by chensiyuan via Wikimedia Commons​An off-duty New York City police officer was shot on South Beach outside a ritzy beach resort early this morning, police say. Miami Beach detectives have shut down Collins Avenue between 12th and 13th Streets today while they search for whomever shot the o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2011

    Here Are the 13 Libraries Carlos Gimenez Wants to Close

    Wikimedia Commons user Tony HudsonNo books for you!​Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez yesterday proposed cutting the county's operating budget by $350 million. That includes whacking the library system's $50 million budget to $24.5 million.It seems 13 libraries will be shut down.Riptide co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2011

    Mezcal Drink Recipes for Cinco de Mayo

    An apple a day keeps the French away​In celebration of the upcoming Cinco de Mayo holiday, we're giving you a full five days of recipes you can either enjoy locally or make at home and some basic information on Mexican foods and traditions you can use to wow your friends or future prey.Let's start ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2011

    Seven Pretty, Evil, and Homicidal Easter Eggs

    via evris28This egg is disgusted by your decorating skills.​Oh, you thought your children were so talented because they affixed a bunch of stickers to a hard-boiled egg and it looks cuter than a baby bunny sliding down a rainbow atop a unicorn? Well, we hate to inform you, but your child is a simp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2011

    The 10 Sexiest Miamians

    Tipdrill​When people think Miami, the first thing that pops into their mind's eyes is boobs. Big, beach ball boobs. But we're so much more than that. We are also crazy-huge booties and rock hard six-pack abs. We are tans the color of Key Biscayne sunsets and weird Barbie hair that breaks apart if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2010

    Two Florida Firemen Resign Over Tea-bagging (The Real Deal, Not the Marco Rubio Kind)

    photo by Tomasz Sienicki via Wikimedia Commons​In a story sure to outrage the Marco Rubio camp on the eve of the midterms, two Florida firefighters have resigned after an investigation into their tea-bagging while on duty. What kind of upside-down nation are we living in where two public servants ... More >>

  • News

    May 27, 2010
  • News

    May 20, 2010
  • Blogs

    March 1, 2010

    Watch the Freaknik: The Musical Trailer Featuring Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, T-Pain and Snoop Dogg

    We have no clue​T-Pain's Freaknik: The Musical is exactly the sort of amalgamation of talent and weirdness that the late-night, cartoon-watching, Doritos-eating demographic lives for, but how it plays out is a mystery. "It is based on Freaknik, a once popular annual festival in Atlanta, Georgia," ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2009

    Musicians Demand Classified Gitmo Memos On How Their Tunes Were Used As Torture

    Of all the outrages perpetrated at Guantanamo Bay -- which New Times explored in depth earlier this year on our visit to the prison camp in southern Cuba -- one of the strangest has to be the military's music-based "futility technique."via Wikimedia Commons​In case you've succeeded in washing the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2009

    Silicon Beach: Pepsi iPhone App for Dumb-Asses with No Social Skills

    Image via The Globe and Mail​Why do some women have their panties all in a twist about Pepsi's branded iPhone application, Before You Score, which was launched recently as part of a promotional campaign for AMP Energy drink? On the surface, the application seems to objectify women as naive creatu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2009

    Naked Guy Breaks into Little Havana Home, Flees Without Pants

    Miami Police are on the lookout for a naked burglar.via Wikimedia Commons​Sometime after midnight early this morning, a white Hispanic man crawled through a window of an apartment on the 1200 block of SW Sixth Street, says Det. William Moreno, a Miami PD spokesman.A woman sleeping inside with her ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2009

    Scientists Worried Everglades Pythons Could Morph into Hybrid Man-Eating Monsters

    Last week, I wrote about a coalition of scientists trying to stop the next dangerous exotic invader from taking over the Everglades. via Wikimedia CommonsAt this point, it's probably just best to run and scream.​Dennis Giardina, a botanist who co-chairs the group, took me on a hunt for nile monito ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2009

    WSJ: Fontainebleau on the Verge of Defaulting On Huge Loan

    It's been a tough summer for Miami Beach's most iconic hotel. via Wikimedia Commons ​The global Arma-recession has grounded flocks of would-be vacationers at home in Hamburg and Milwaukee and Bogota. A massive storm collapsed the roof at LIV. And Ben Novack Jr., heir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2009

    Which Florida Celebrities Will Get a Piece of the Dolphins Next?

    In case you missed it, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross made it official this morning: The Fins are indeed waging the biggest celebrity love-fest in South Florida this side of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami.via Wikimedia CommonsAre you ready for some mustache?​The Dolphins have lost 20 percent o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Continue Their Celebrity Love-Fest with Britto, T-Pain, Versace, and Ocean Drive Mag

    Remember those good ol' days when the Miami Dolphins just played football? When Shula, Marino, and Csonka were the names that first came to mind when you imagined the teal and orange -- not Buffett, Estefan, and Anthony?via Wikimedia CommonsThis cat is much more interesting than a Joey Por ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2009

    A New Black Market in Miami Is About to Explode

    Jeopardy! time. This black-market product costs governments worldwide $50 billion every year; fuels Hezbollah, the PKK, and other terrorist cells; and runs on global crime syndicates and hundreds of underground factories in China and Eastern Europe.via Wikimedia CommonsWhat is heroin, you say? Cocai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2009

    WSJ Says the Marlins Are One Of the Dumbest Teams in Baseball

    You already know the Marlins aren't so hot at this whole baseball-playin' gig. Last night, they went 0 for 15 with runners in scoring position and tanked another game at Fenway Park.via Wikimedia CommonsOh, Hanley. What would Ben Stein say?But even as they sink into the depths of the NL East, the Fi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2009

    Give Thanks -- You Almost Got Stuck Rooting for the Florida Flamingos

    All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2009

    Tragic: Crash Kills Hispanic Activist Outside Freedom Center After Awards Ceremony

    Last Thursday, a gray Toyota Tundra was driving west on NE 6th Street next to the Freedom Tower when it slammed full-speed into a southbound, red Honda CRV on Biscayne Boulevard.via Wikimedia CommonsThe truck spun out and skidded onto the sidewalk in front of the Freedom Center. Two women stood in i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2009

    Father Hoes Best

    Wikimedia CommonsThe Sony Ericsson Open begins tomorrow on Key Biscayne, and that means the tennis world's most notorious one-man circus is coming to town. Forget the athletes; we're following Richard Williams, dad of the top-seeded sisters and Palm Beach Gardens residents Serena and Venus. Richard' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 17, 2009

    WMC Preview: Q&A with Late of the Pier

    The English quartet Late of the Pier are among their homeland's best, brightest young hopes, with all the high cheekbones and music press praise that usually entails. But don't mistake them for one of the dour, fedora-ed Brit indie groups of recent years. This band makes fun music for the kids full ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2009

    Arizona, The Worst NCAA Tourney Bid Ever, Headed To Miami

    They didn't win 20 games. They finished .500 in a mediocre conference. Their best player is a goofy looking white guy. They lost five of their last six games of the season. Courtesy Wikimedia CommonsYet somehow the geniuses running the NCAA selection committee added up these facts and de ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2009

    Desperate soccer team threatens suicide unless Miamians buy tickets

    Wikimedia CommonsAn artist's rendering of Miami FC management.There's something definitely extortive about the latest press release from Miami FC, the under-attended and gravely endangered second-tier pro soccer team that allegedly plays at Tropical Park Stadium. The club is under the gun from the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 3, 2009

    Miami's MLS Bid Is Dead, Blame It On Beckham

    via Wikimedia CommonsThe only elongated yelp wannabe soccer announcers in Miami will be proclaiming anytime soon is, "Nooooooooooooooooooo!" As in no "gooooooooool!"  Major League Soccer, FC Barcelona, and Marcelo Claure jointly announced today that a plan to bring an expansion team to Miami ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2009

    Living Raw, Sex, and the City

    This girl here, livin' somewhere in Miami, name of Suvine, pictured above, has a public, online diary documenting her life as a  fruitarian. What's that mean? According to Wikipedia, "Fruitarians (or fructarians) eat in principle only the fruit of plants." No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 20, 2008

    Hookahs and Hose

    Escape reality at the DiLido Beach Club’s happy hour.

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2008

    Any Excuse Will Do: Gamblers Pack Casinos During Pathetic TS Fay

    Jamie Adams via Wikimedia Commons Fay, lame lassy that she was, didn’t stop South Florida’s gamblers from seizing on the excuse to hunker down at a felt table. As the squall squealed Monday evening, the Miccosukee casino swelled as if it was Stimulus Check Season all over again. Besides the cro ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 17, 2008

    Burn One Down

    Celebrate 4/20 with a few of your closest buds.

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