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  • Blogs

    September 12, 2014

    WTF Florida Friday: What Is Your "WTF Florida" Name?

    A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week: a special guide to find your "WTF Florida name" in honor of Ms. Cherries Waffles Tennis, a missing corpse, and Seinfeld phobia.

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    Miami's Best Eats and Drinks This Week: Latin Barbecue and Oyster Happy Hours

    Monday means the end of your sabbath. Yes, that alarm this morning is real -- it wasn't a dream. And, absolutely, you better believe that work is calling, your phone is blowing up from emails (curse those who reply to all) and you're wondering why you didn't call in sick. But you know the greatest ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 19, 2013

    Marlins Hosting "Legends of Wrestling Night" With Washed Up Pro-Wrestlers

    In their latest doomed effort to goose ticket sales the Miami Marlins will be hosting a "Legend of Wrestling Night" on August 24. Sixteen former professional wrestlers will be on hand for you to, I don't know, look at I guess according to Biz of Baseball. There will be three or four actual wrestling ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2013

    Five Reasons Publix Isn't the Best Grocery Store Ever

    Like Coke versus Pepsi or McDonald's versus Burger King, some business battles will be waged forever. After all, people have strong opinions about what they put in their pie-hole. The same goes for supermarkets. Some people are die-hard Whole Foods junkies; others (as former Northeasterners know) ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2012

    Poll: Marco Rubio Big Favorite Among Republican Voters For VP Pick

    Mitt Romney's still mum on who he'll pick as his VP to share the stage at this month's Republican National Convention in Tampa, but conservative voters sure aren't conflicted about who they'd choose. A new poll by CNN finds GOP-leaning voters want Marco Rubio as the veep by a wide margin.Of cou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2012

    Top Five Miami Fishing Spots To Take Dad For Father's Day

    There are few experiences more rewarding than reeling in a big one with dad. Add a few beers in the cooler, a couple of turkey sandwiches, a bucket full of chum, and pops is (usually) ebullient.Miami has plethora of ideal fishing locations. Freshwater fishing inland can yield largemouth bass, blue-g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2012

    Grilling With Beer: Spare Ribs, Brats, and Braised Red Cabbage

    Happy Memorial Day, Miami. If there's sun -- and the forecast calls for an end to this damn rain -- you will want to grill out with an ice-cold beer in hand. But when you're sipping on that brewski while the blazing-hot charcoals reach proper temperature, consider using beer as an ingredient for you ... More >>

  • Film

    May 17, 2012
  • Blogs

    April 13, 2012

    Panthers in the Playoffs: A Florida Native's Made-Up Guide to Hockey Terms

    Did you guys hear the Florida Panthers are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs? You guys heard of the Florida Panthers? You guys even heard of hockey?No? Well, great, this guide is for you. Being native Floridians we're glad that our team has finally broken their playoff slump. We'd like to send them positi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2011

    New Year's Eve 2012: Where to Eat in Miami Without Getting Gouged

    ​Wikipedia defines price gouging as a "pejorative term referring to a situation in which a seller prices goods or commodities much higher than is considered reasonable or fair." Sounds like New Year's Eve in Miami, when local restaurants dig deep into the pockets of tourists determined to pay fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2011

    Hialeah Hospital Doc Sued for Allegedly Holding Adopted Baby Hostage

    photo by ernstl via Wikimedia CommonsIt sounds like a tale adoptive parents tell around a campfire to scare each other sleepless: A doctor, distraught over his failed marriage and custody fight, holds a baby hostage until the would-be new parents promise to return the kid to its birth mother.Yet tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 16, 2011

    Gavin Rossdale's Daughter Daisy Lowe Gets Naked for Playboy NSFW

    Photo by Tony Kelly/Courtesy of PlayboyModel, celebutante, and Gavin Rossdale's daughter Daisy Lowe.​Do you remember the Alternative Revolution? Well, you're old. Grunge is ancient fucking history. And all those '90s babies born during the reign of George H.W. Bush are grown up and getting nake ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 20, 2011

    Apple Fries and Milk: Are Parents Buying Into the New Burger King Kids Meal?

    Wikimedia CommonsWe can tell this guy grew up on BK kids meals.​As part of the National Restaurant Association's Kids Livewell Initiative, 19 chains across the United States have ensured that your bratty kid will never again whine incessantly for another kids meal.These fast food places -- among t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2011

    S.W.A.T. Team Stand-Off at 13th Street and Euclid Avenue in Miami Beach UPDATE

    Tim McAteer via Wikimedia CommonsMiami Beach SWAT is out in force tonight​The Miami Beach Police Department S.W.A.T. Team was called in to handle a stand-off on South Beach tonight.An unidentified white male "barricaded" himself at 1309 Euclid Avenue, according to Det. Vivian Hérnandez. As o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2011

    Flo Rida Busted For DUI on South Beach UPDATED

    photo by Leoboudv via Wikimedia Commons​Flo Rida, the Sunshine State's favorite boots-wit-da-fur spokesman, is headed to Dade County lockup after an early morning DUI bust on South Beach a few hours ago, Miami Beach police officials tell Riptide.We're guessing this might put a crimp in Flo's plans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Miami Shipper Antillean Marine Charged With Oil Pollution

    via Wikimedia CommonsIt was like this, except the birds were alive and probably not covered in oil.​Miami River shipping company Antillean Marine has been charged with knowingly dumping oil into U.S. waters, then falsifying its records to omit the offense, which could cost them more than $1.5 mill ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2011

    Kentucky Derby Special: Top Five Horse Meat Dishes from Carpaccio to Pony Strogranoff

    via Wikipedia Basashi, or raw horse meat from Towada.​In honor of that annual American tradition taking place Saturday at 6:24 p.m, the Kentucky Derby, Short Order has compiled a list of the top five dishes made with the dinner of champions: horse meat. Now, before you let your preconceived ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2011

    Did Rick Sanchez Edit His Own Wikipedia Entry to Downplay DUI Accident?

    ​Ah, it's been too long since we've had some good ol' fashioned Rick Sanchez-brand inanity. On a hunch- - do we know our man or what? -- we checked out the revision history of the Wikipedia page for Rick Sanchez, the former WSVN-turned-CNN anchor who is currently unemployed after calling Jon Stew ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 26, 2011

    Steve Berke, Comedian and Reality Show Contestant, Runs for Miami Beach Mayor

    via​If you've been withholding your support for Miami Beach Mayor Matti Herrera Bower for all these years because you suspect she doesn't shoot nearly enough tequila and wavers in her commitment to fight aliens, don't worry: There's now a candidate for you.Steve Berke, a sta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2011

    Can Police Arrest You For Videotaping Them? Four Miami Friends Find Out the Hard Way

    photo by Popperipopp via Wikimedia Commons​When a Miami Beach officer started loudly berating Robert Hammonds and his friends in September 2009, the aspiring filmmaker did what came naturally: He pulled out his videocamera and filmed it. Hammonds had no idea that that simple act would cast him int ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2011

    Archbishop Wenski to Deliver Mass Tonight to Commemorate One Year Anniversary of Deadly Haiti Earthquake

    Marco Dormino (UN) via Wikimedia CommonsA year after a devastating earthquake, Haiti still struggles to recover.​At 4:53 p.m. this afternoon, the church bells of St. Mary's Cathedral will ring out over Little Haiti and the rest of Miami. Sadly, the occasion won't be a wedding but the remembrance o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2010

    Jennifer Lopez on the New Times Dirty Dozen Countdown

    Miami ain't clean, but these people are downright dirty​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. Last year, we had prostitute-punching TV salesman Vince Shlomi and indicted ex-city commi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2010

    Scott Storch is Not Canadian

    Not Canadian.​It's been eight months since we dived headlong into hip-hop megaproducer Scott Storch's life and came up with this feature, but one thing continues to haunt us: The persistent misinformation that Storch was born in Canada. Even the Associated Press insists that it is so. It is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2010

    Gulf Oil Spill Sticking With Us: Top Five Things We Thought Went Away But Really Didn't

    Taint gone: the oil spill is with us for years to come, whether we like it or notYesterday scientists at the University of California, San Francisco published a report on the dangers to humans and wildlife still posed by the gigantic Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. To the cha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2010

    Heads Up: Stonefox Members Reunite or Falco Back From the Dead Saturday at Poor House

    Photo by Ian WitlenIt's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday (and Stonefox)​No matter what happens Saturday at Poor House (110 Nugent Avenue, Fort Lauderdale) on Saturday evening, the results will probably warrant another blog posting.Thanks to a tip from New Times shutterbug Ian Witlen, we discove ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2010

    Top 10 Weed Munchies for 420

    Today is 420, the international stoner holiday, and we're in a legal-weed America (well, legal in some states for certain reasons). So, for all of you medical patients responsibly smoking marijuana for your bad back, cancer, glaucoma, hypertension, headache, stress, muscle pain, stomachache, comedy, ... More >>

  • News

    March 4, 2010
  • Blogs

    January 19, 2010

    Last Week's Cold Spell Sucked... Unless You're an Iguana-Gobblin' Homeless Dude

    Bjørn Christian Tørrissen; Wikimedia CommonsDelicious!​Last week's freeze was not nice to Miami's homeless contingent. The shelters were overflowing, and the Julia Tuttle Causeway sex offenders crowded around barrel fires and behind makeshift walls. But Harold, a burly 37-year-old Georgia-born ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2009

    Wish You Were There: Candyland 14 in YouTube Videos

    Alright, so while it briefly crossed my mind to check out Candyland 14 this past Saturday, in the end I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I attended a couple of the early numbered editions of this party in the late '90s/early '00s, and then popped back in last year, when it was at Soho Studios. T ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 21, 2009

    Dole Won't Pay Nicaraguan Banana Workers $97 Million

    image via nataliemaynor flickrNo plata for the platano workers.​A federal judge in Miami ruled that $97 million ordered paid by Dole Food Inc. to 150 Nicaraguan workers who claim to have suffered sterility and other injuries due to pesticide cannot be upheld in the U.S.The injuries allegedly stem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2009

    Wish You Were There: Brad Paisley at Cruzan, Backstage Tour

    Who is Brad Paisely? He is a country music star with seven recorded studio albums, all of which have gone at least gold.According to Wikipedia, Brad Paisley graduated high school in West Virginia. That's about as country as it gets, except for the graduating high school part. Paisley is currently ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2009

    Free Hunter's Moon and Stargazer Party at Fruit & Spice Park

    via makelessnoise flickr​The Hunter's Moon is a full moon. They call it that because the light it provides makes it easier to kill food. According to Wikipedia, as viewed from the northern hemisphere, the Hunter's Moon rises in such a way that there's no significant dark time between sunset and mo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 12, 2009

    Lobsternomics 101: The Lobster Economy From A Seafood Market Perspective

    via Wikimedia CommonsFlorida Spiny Lobster - Panulirus Argus​ Lobsternomics 101 is a Short Order series delving into lobster economics via voices from the local lobster community. Not the lobsters themselves, but the people who catch, sell, and buy them.Today we introduce you to Steven Torres of C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2009

    Lobsternomics 101: The Lobster Market in Miami, Cuba, and The World

    image via Wikimedia CommonsFlorida Spiny Lobster​Last week I heard a chef say "lobster's cheaper than chicken," which got Short Order wondering about Lobsternomics, the study of the lobster economy as it relates to fishermen, wholesalers and restaurants in South Florida. We'll be delving into the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2009

    Cold War Alert! Russian Subs Patrolling the Seas Around South Beach

    via Wikimedia CommonsMight need to get those signs out again, kids.​New York Times this morning and had a serious 1962 flashback.The Times reports today that two Akula-class Russian nuclear submarines are patrolling international waters just off the East Coast. Defense Department sources told the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 4, 2009

    Throwback Tuesdays: Saigon Kick - "I Love You"

    Saigon Kick was arguably South Florida's biggest rock export in the early '90s, a band with some major hits that remains somewhat underrated, perhaps, because of the time at which it appeared. At first glance, the group, originally a quartet, had all the aesthetic stylings of a glam-metal act. But ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2009

    Horse Racing At Miami International Airport? Not a Joke, Apparently

    via Wikimedia CommonsWelcome to Miami, folks. Don't mind the horseshit.The City of Miami is so desperate for revenue right now that nothing should really surprise us here in Riptide's heavily fortified underground command bunker.Cockfighting at Miami-Dade Public Libraries? Yawn. Legalized brothels b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2009

    Dolphins Celebrity News Conference Fetish Continues with Marc Anthony

    Another week has passed from this Earth, and another mysterious email announcing a Dolphins news conference featuring a popular musician has landed in Riptide's inbox.via Wikimedia CommonsWe can only pray that Marc Anthony will not be singing "Fins" in Spanish.First came Jimmy Buffett. We all know h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2009

    Red Tape Entangles a Canine-Lovin' Samaritan

    Wikimedia CommonsRed tape makes this puppy sad.Robbie Coy, founder of Homestead's Sabbath Memorial Dog Rescue operation, includes in his adoption contracts a clause stating that the new owners cannot leave the animals leashed outside. So inn November, 2007, when Coy was driving by an adopter's home ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2009

    Gitmo Terrorists Are Coming to Your Back Yard! And to the Tiny Island Nation of Palau?

    As we reported in February after a visit to Guantánamo Bay, President Obama faces some pretty damn thorny decisions as he tries to close the notorious prison camp in southeastern Cuba, none tougher than what the heck to do with all the prisoners. via Wikimedia Commons.Soon coming to a backyard near ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2009

    Top Ten Ways To Celebrate National Hamburger Month

    Jacob KatelBig pussy hungry for meat at Kingdom on BiscayneMay is officially National Hamburger Month, official in the sense that it was enacted as a vast marketing scheme by either White Castle or Krystal depending on whom you ask. We here at Short Order support fast food America, capitalism, and f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2009

    Tap Tap vs. Delano for Best Mojito

    image via Not to say that New Times invented surveys, prizes, or calling stuff the best, but's "Golden Local" awards are obviously a blatant rip off of our legally trademarked annual "Best Of Miami" awards.That being said, has done a nice job in taking th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2009

    Marlins Finally Win Again! Now a Reputable News Source Says They Will Win It All

    Time to shave that Rasputin-length win-beard. The Marlins are at last back in the win column after a season start that can only be described as more confusing than Charlie Crist's sexuality.via Wikipedia CommonsEven with Han-Ram on the bench, the streak ended.Somehow the Fish won 11 freaking games b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2009

    Rourke Inks Iron Man 2 Deal

    via Wikimedia CommonsThe Crimson DynamoIt was inevitable, but now it is official. Mickey Rourke is no longer our quirky washed up actor turned suprising Oscar Nominee for a small indie. He's officially a blockbuster idol once again. After some rumors to the contrary, he's signed on for a big role in ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 4, 2008

    Get to the Pointe

    Ballet dancers flock to Florida on their toes.

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2008

    At Least a Marlin's Wife Can Win

    Photo via Wikimedia Commons Misty May-Treanor no doubt owes her second Gold Medal to the noted coaching skills of George W. Bush. The Marlins are mostly poorly paid rooks. Most don't have championship gold at home. But catcher Matt Treanor will get to touch his wife's gold medal. That is, if she ... More >>

  • Music

    June 5, 2008

    Vampire Weekend: Scary Name, Friendly Music

    It's more Manilow than morbid.

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2008

    Throwback Tuesdays: The Beat Club - "Security"

    While we’re on the subject of old dance jams, here’s another classic: “Security” by the Beat Club, which dropped around ’87 or ’88. This classic record had both that tinkle-tinkle that linked it both to freestyle and electro in these parts and the emerging early rave sound in England – ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2007
  • Blogs

    April 12, 2007

    A Spongy Web of Culinary Lies

    Repeat after me: oeufs, not flottante As a lifelong Luddite, when it comes to food research I prefer referencing my own collection of cookbooks to surfing the Web. This email I received (OK, I admit it, I do use a computer, too), and my response, only reinforces my distrust of the (mis)information ... More >>

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