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Six Florida History Myths That Won't Die: Everglades Suicide, Al Capone and Castro's House

Last week, T. D. Allman sent Florida the worst birthday card ever. The author's widely shared column in the New York Times trashed Ponce de León and bemoaned celebrations of his "purported discovery" of the peninsula in 1513 as a "fiesta of illusion." OK, so Ponce was a racist, imperialist dunderhe ... More >>

Five Food Traditions to Ring In the New Year

While mentions of food around New Year's are often limited to diatribes about holiday overindulgence and plans to forego various edibles in the coming year - food also plays a pivotal role in the cultural introduction of a dawning year. Various countries and cultures around the world have specific ... More >>

Ten Flavored Vodkas We'd Like to See in Stores

Arguably, 2012 was the year that flavored vodka jumped the shark. Once limited to simple, (semi) natural flavors like cherry, vanilla and citrus, this year the industry made inroads into liquid flavors we never thought possible. From salted caramel and chocolate covered cherry to Fruit Loops and PB& ... More >>

Cockroach Death: Five Other Foods That Can Kill You

The winner of a cockroach and worm eating contest at the Ben Siegal Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach collapsed and died shortly after winning a $700 Ivory Ball Python Friday. Authorities say 32-year-old Edward Archbold began feeling sick and vomited after eating dozens of cockroaches and worms. Late ... More >>

Best Cheap Beers: If You Must Buy at a 24-Hour Gas Station, Here Are Your Choices

Most of us working stiffs don't have mad cash to drop on huge quantities of good-quality beer. What is the alternative? Twenty-four-hour gas stations stocked with little rescue kits of mass-produced brew.There are many selections, but here is a list of ten that every beer fiend should consider when ... More >>

Gisele Bundchen and Eight Other Women Who Stand by Their Men

​Can we all stop hating on Gisele Bundchen? The lady has had a pretty stressful week. First she had to watch her husband, Tom Brady, completely choke in his starring role on the most-watched TV show of all time. Then she had to pretend she thought he did a really excellent job. Cameras captured he ... More >>

Wikipedia Is Down Today: Don't Panic, We Have Your Alternatives

​Pity the University of Miami freshman who picked this morning to crap out a research paper, and the Miami Herald journalist trying to write about whichever moderately famous person dies today. Wikipedia has gone dark! The site is protesting the SOPA legislation that most sane people realize would ... More >>

Marco Rubio Drops His Support of Online Piracy Bill on Day of Wikipedia Blackout

​Maybe Marco Rubio is addicted to late-night Wikipedia binges. You know, the type where you go to look up the director of whatever movie you're absentmindedly watching on cable and then somehow, an hour later, end up reading about the indigenous bird species of Alabama. Because this morning, the R ... More >>

Gluten-Free Dining in Miami: Local Resources For Diners With Celiac Disease

​If you like lots of dining options, Miami is your kinda place. Whether you crave International deliciousness or  vegan, low-fat or sugar-free fare, it's all right here. Or so it would seem. Because there's one option noticeably missing from this metro melting pot: gluten-free.Even so, there ... More >>

Last Week to Enter the $1,400 Whole Foods Holiday Bake-Off

Photo by Bryan Ochalla/Wikimedia Commons​If one of your wild food fantasies includes running up and down the aisles of Whole Foods like a crazy person, filling your shopping cart with any and everything your heart -- and stomach -- desire, and doing it without spending your whole paycheck, read on ... More >>

So My Grandmother Died, Blah Blah Blah is Paul Tei's funny, trippy mind blast

Man Accused of Firebombing Wheelchair-Bound Neighbor's Apartment

U.S. Office of War Information, via Wikimedia CommonsOriginal 1944 caption: An American pineapple, the kind the Axis finds hard to digest, is ready to leave the hand of an infantryman... American soldiers make good grenade throwers.​In a massive step backwards for Grand Avenue neighbor relations, ... More >>

Donald Trump's Hair: The Long Form Birth Certificate

Photo by Gage Skidmore (via Wikimedia Commons)​Our private investigators -- and art director Pam Shavalier -- have been working around the clock trying to locate this document. Now we know what Donald Trump's Hair has been hiding. You're welcome, America.

David Rivera's Office Tries and Fails to Remove Scandals from Wikipedia

​Remember how Rep. David Rivera is allegedly a giant, corrupt scumbag? Well, someone in his office would rather you forget. According to Politico someone in Rivera's office is desperately trying to remove all references to the many investigations Rivera currently finds himself at the center of fro ... More >>

The 10 Sexiest Miamians

Tipdrill​When people think Miami, the first thing that pops into their mind's eyes is boobs. Big, beach ball boobs. But we're so much more than that. We are also crazy-huge booties and rock hard six-pack abs. We are tans the color of Key Biscayne sunsets and weird Barbie hair that breaks apart if ... More >>

EcuRed, Cuba's Castro-Approved Wikipedia Clone, Launches, Has Curious Take on Miami

It's just like Wikipedia, except Fidel gets to edit all your changes.​The resurgent Fidel Castro -- riding a new high as the world's foremost peddler of Bilderberg conspiracies -- has lately been helping his island nation lurch toward the Information Age. Last year, we wrote about Cuba's answer t ... More >>

Area 31 Hosts Ice Cream Social for Charity

D Sharon Pruitt via Wikimedia Commons​Ice cream socials mostly invoke thoughts of church gatherings and neighborhood get-togethers, but not when you're eating your ice cream overlooking Biscayne Bay at Area 31. The restaurant will celebrate National Ice Cream Month by hosting Scoops for Success to ... More >>

Top 10 Foods That Can Get You High

​Are you bored? Hungry? Want to eat your way to intoxication? We've scoured the world for the top 10 foods that'll get you high, exposed the rumors and lies, and now we can explain why some of these can kill you. Prepare for food education.

Posner Plagiarizes Again

Gerald Posner Plagiarized in Why America Slept and Secrets of the Kingdom, Research Shows

Photo by Bill Cooke Gerald Posner​In this week's Miami New Times, we write about new evidence that Gerald Posner plagiarized dozens of passages in his 2003 book Why American Slept and in 2005's Secrets of the Kingdom. After the jump, you can check out all the proof. But first, a little back ... More >>

Tonight! Rock City Angels, Rebel and DJ Mig, Chicago

​Memphis/South Florida glam-punk luminaries the Rock City Angels top the bill for a night of unbridled rock 'n' roll at Monterey Club (2608 S. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale). Show starts at 9:30 p.m. In short, the band, fronted by Bobby Durango, has a history far too long and twisted to fit her ... More >>

Jets Fans Whining on Wikipedia?

As we know from the "Wikipedia" entry on Wikipedia, Wikipedia can be edited by anyone. And apparently a few select Jets fans have put down their stone tools and cave paint brushes and figured out a little basic HTML. How do I know? Just check out the Wikipedia entry on the Miami Dolphins and scroll ... More >>

Naked Guy Breaks into Little Havana Home, Flees Without Pants

Miami Police are on the lookout for a naked burglar.via Wikimedia Commons​Sometime after midnight early this morning, a white Hispanic man crawled through a window of an apartment on the 1200 block of SW Sixth Street, says Det. William Moreno, a Miami PD spokesman.A woman sleeping inside with her ... More >>

Stone Crab Season Is Open - Top 10 Stone Crab Trivia Facts

via wikimedia commonsJoe's​Today, October 15, 2009 stone crab season officially opens and runs through May 15, 2010. We have assembled some trivia you may find useful around the dinner table, at a bar with friends, or if you ever end up on a quiz show. Enjoy.10. Stone crabs are found along the Atl ... More >>

Tonight at Urbanite Bistro - Wine, Dine, and Gator Meat

via urbanitebistro.com​ Fourteenth street between Overtown and the Arsht is full of wild game: zombified crackheads, worse for wear working-girls, artists, musicians, promoters, creatives, thugs, drugs, and po nine.Now, with Urbanite Bistro in the mix, we can add the literal interpretation: animal ... More >>

Wine Deal at Altamar on Lincoln Road - 50% off Bottles $50 or More Monday Through Thursday

via Wikimedia CommonsBacchus drinking.​ Greek mythology's Maenads, the female followers of Dionysus, the God of Wine, were known to enter into states of ecstatic frenzy, indulge in wild, uncontrolled sexual urges, and run through herds of animals or people like sharp clawed lawnmowers tearing and ... More >>

Top Ten Home Remedies Using Food For South Florida Conditions

via Wikimedia CommonsInuit medicine man.​10. Garlic for a scorpion sting - Sure you city folk probably don't have scorpion problems, but in rural Dade they do. The sulfur in garlic might neutralize toxins if you get stung. 9. Mango for heat stroke - You been outside lately? It's scorching hot. Que ... More >>

Live Dogs Fed to Zoo Animals in Cuba

Wikimedia CommonsOur sister paper, the Riverfront Times, has a story about a private investigator who traveled  to Cuba and discovered live stray dogs are fed to zoo animals. Zoo employees acknowledged the practice: "Free food," said one.And a "diplomatic source" confirmed the practice, accordi ... More >>

Embarassing Bush-Era Case Stumbling to Predictably Shameful Ending

Twice before, the government tried to build a laughably flimsy case that six poor Haitian guys from Liberty City were getting ready to "wage a ground war against the United States," in the silly words of disgraced uber-clown Alberto Gonzalez.via Wikimedia CommonsComedy Central.Twice before, juries d ... More >>

Even at 62, Cher Can Still Appearantly Out-Dance You

The lady we have to thank/blame for the rash of Auto-Tune-aided vocals* in pop music made a surprise appearance at LIV last night, according to Page Six. Even after a few facial overhauls and countless drag queens impersonating her at any given moment, Cher remains instantly recognizable and, says ... More >>

What Should Become of the Bacardi Buildings?

via Wikimedia CommonsWith news that Bacardi will soon be moving to blander headquarters in blander Coral Gables, preservationists are making a preemptive move to ensure their iconic buildings in midtown Miami are protected with landmark status, even though neither is old enough to typically qualify. ... More >>

Williams Sisters Gearing up for Their First Showdown in Miami

via Wikimedia CommonsThere are few rivalries in modern sports more intriguing than the one between Venus and Serena Williams. Sure, there are the haters who want to think the outcomes are fixed, but for the rest of us watching the two sisters, who just happen to be the most dominant players of the p ... More >>

While Maria Sharapova Parties at LIV, Kim Clijsters Gets Serious About Comeback

via Wikimedia CommonsPulling out of the Sony Ericsson Open this week further delayed Maria Sharapova's return to tournament glory, but it hasn't slowed down her celebrity status. Sharapova still made the trip to Miami, but is instead partying and playing fashionista. She made a promotional appearan ... More >>

Sharapova Withdraws from Miami Masters Again

via Wikimedia CommonsMaria Sharapova occasionally pops up on my TV screen to sell me digital cameras in ads where she's constantly upstaged by a small dog who thinks in the most stereotypical French accent ever. But the 21-year-old former number one hasn't popped up on my TV screen in any important ... More >>

Robin Williams' Surgery a Success, South Florida Shows Should Be Rescheduled

Fans of manic stand-up chock full of random associations and funny voices can breathe a sigh of relief. After being admitted to a Miami hospital earlier this month in the midst of his "Weapons of Self-Destruction" tour, Robin Williams was transferred to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, where he underwent s ... More >>

Helicopter Model Used By All Local TV Stations Grounded by FAA

via Wikimedia CommonsA Bell 407, the helicopter used by all four major local English stations. Now when local news stations whip the proverbial "it" out to compare they talk about HD capabilities, fancy websites, digital editing, and other boring tech things, but in simpler times the prize package, ... More >>

WMC Preview: Q&A with Late of the Pier

The English quartet Late of the Pier are among their homeland's best, brightest young hopes, with all the high cheekbones and music press praise that usually entails. But don't mistake them for one of the dour, fedora-ed Brit indie groups of recent years. This band makes fun music for the kids full ... More >>

Silly Porn Tax Remains Silly

via Wikimedia CommonsCan we tax plastic surgery instead? The Times/Herald Tallahassee Bureau has been following a proposed porn tax with quite some fervor lately, but the State Legislators can't seem to talk about the proposal with a straight face. Republican Sen. Carey Baker said he'd heard someone ... More >>

Chile Takes American Banks to Court for Aiding Pinochet

via Wikimedia CommonsHave you seen this new, weird children's television program Fox News has on called "The Glenn Beck Show?" I've seen it only once, and Beck was harping on about how Obama was a socialist, and how socialism or anything vaguely like it is horrible because Stalin killed a ... More >>

Thanks For Ruining the World Baseball Classic, Netherlands

Here's something you don't know: In the Netherlands, professional baseball is called Honkbal Hoofdklasse.   Courtesy Wikimedia CommonsSomething else you don't know? A single player on the Netherland's World Baseball Classic team, which shocked the honkbal world by somehow taking down a ... More >>

FDA Cracking Down On Another of Jose Canseco's Favorite Substances

via Wikimedia CommonsWe've spent so much time following the sad saga of A-Rod, that we've forgotten to check in with Miami's even more disgraced baseball star -- Jose Canseco! Last year a Sunrise-based company, Smoking Everywhere, enlisted the former slugger to tout its e-cigarette. Using a com ... More >>

In Surfside, tennis is the people's sport

Wikimedia CommonsDon't let this guy scare you away.Like its sister past-times of golf, polo, and hedge fund fraud, tennis has always been rank with the stink of exclusivity. But while it is usually played by guys named Nigel who tie their sweaters around their chests, once you take it out of the cou ... More >>

Stem Cell-ebration

By wide majorities, Americans love stem cell research. According to Gallup numbers 64% find it morally acceptable, and 52% support easing the restrictions or having none at all. Today, your president Barack Obama repealed his predecessor's strict limits on stem cell research, which cr ... More >>

Living Raw, Sex, and the City

This girl here, livin' somewhere in Miami, name of Suvine, pictured above, has a public, online diary documenting her life as a  fruitarian. What's that mean? According to Wikipedia, "Fruitarians (or fructarians) eat in principle only the fruit of plants." No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, ... More >>

Florida Democrats Lacking Latino Candidates

Absent from the list of possible candidates for the Democratic nomination for either governor or senator in 2010 are Latinos. It's nothing new. The Democrats have never run a Latino for governor or the Senate, and they've never elected one to the U.S. House of Representatives. In fact, one would be ... More >>

Crazy Rumor: Dolphins Scouting Usain Bolt?

Positive Vibrations

Celestial Treasures takes that Pay It Forward movie seriously.

All Hart

Kevin Hart will make you giggle like a schoolgirl.