Weather

Happy Hurricane Season! Florida Might Get Hit By a Named Storm This Week

It's the first Monday of hurricane season, which means all across the Sunshine State thousands are heading into work with the vague feeling they've forgotten something important (PSSST! Hurricane supplies, people. Specifically: vodka and board games.). Well, here's a kick in the ass to get that kit ... More >>

Miami's Best Eats and Drinks this Weekend: Hurricane Season Edition

The best thing about living in Miami is that it's practically summer all year long. But every great thing comes at a cost, and for us, that is hurricane season. From tomorrow until November 30 (hurricane season!), we need to get our butts in gear and make sure our refrigerators and cabinets are lock ... More >>

Miami's High Temperatures Are About to Break a January Record

Technically it is actually the middle of winter, but Miami has had temperatures in the 80s for 15 straight days now. That's matched a record for the most days above 80 degrees in winter since records have been kept, according to CBS Miami. The previous stretch was in 2002, and it's expected we'll li ... More >>

VIDEO: Stray Cat Interrupts Local Weather Report

WLTV's chief meteorologist Eduardo Rodriquez was just trying to deliver the weather forecast on Miami's Univision station when he was unexpectedly joined by a stray cat who wandered in from the parking lot. This shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone, as well all know stray cats do whatever the h ... More >>

Hurricane Sandy: A Message to the Northeast from Miami

Oh hey Northeast, how you doing? Oh, you're about to get a hurricane. It's a Category One. That's cute. We totally didn't even hear about it. Oh, wait, that's all we're hearing about right now.Listen, we're kind of jealous. A hurricane comes towards Florida and it gets maybe a 30 second mention on C ... More >>

Hurricane Sandy Brings Soggy Weather, Probably Won't Ruin Your Halloween Weekend

Hurricane Sandy isn't expected to make landfall in Florida, but the storm will still be annoying as the outer bands hit the southeastern part of the state throughout the day.Miami-Dade is under a tropical storm warning, meaning a lot of rain and wind are expected. The conditions are forecasted to la ... More >>

Tropical Storm Sandy Could Make Life Miserable For South Florida Tomorrow

There's no need to raid Publix for water, hurricane shutters, vodka and "Golden Girls" DVDs just yet, but you might as well prepare yourself for a miserable end of the week thanks to Tropical Storm Sandy.The strengthening storm is set to become a Cat 1 hurricane before walloping Jamaica later today, ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac: Still Mildly Annoying Miami, Threatening New Orleans

The worst of Tropical Storm Isaac has officially blown through the Keys and into the Gulf this morning, though its sloppy remains are still drenching Dade. Riptide's storm experts have begun tallying the damage Isaac wrought in Florida: 80,000 or so without power, minor flooding here and there, and ... More >>

Hurricane Andrew Then, Isaac Now: Stock Up With Gourmet Goodies

It's only fitting that on the 20th anniversary of Hurricane Andrew, there's a storm brewing out in the Caribbean (with another one nipping at Isaac's ankles). It is fiercely debated whether Hurricane Andrew was the worst natural disaster in American history. At the time, the Category 5 hurricane tha ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac: Watch Out For Falling Palm Fronds UPDATED

If you're like us at Riptide, your eyes have been rolling all morning watching NBC 6, CBS 4, Local 10, and WSVN make fools of themselves reporting on the "awful" conditions brought by Tropical Storm Isaac. Yeah, there's been some rain and wind, and Miami even experienced some brownouts last nig ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac: Hurricane Warning, Schools Closed Monday UPDATED

It's happening, people! Southern Miami-Dade and the Florida Keys are under a hurricane watch as Tropical Storm Isaac keeps moving northwest at 17 mph. The northern part of the county remains under a hurricane warning.The latest NOAA update has the storm making landfall in Cuba with max sustained win ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac: Welcome To The Cone of Concern, Miami

Riptide's crack meteorological team has just issued this update on Tropical Storm Isaac: 09:17:00 AM EST Due to favorable wind shear and hot ocean temps, by Monday TS Isaac is expected to rage with the devastating power of ten thousand nuclear bombs. It will personally find your house, smash each in ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac Close To Forming, Could Threaten RNC In Tampa

Between the cash-hungry strip clubs, the prime-time Rick Scott speech, and the 50,000-plus conservatives and 20,000 protestors squaring off, Tampa is already going to be one insane circus from hell next week. The only thing that could possibly make the Republican National Convention better would be ... More >>

Survey: 27 Percent of Miamians Have Had Sex During a Hurricane

The power is off. Your home is lit by candles. You're drunk from the hurricane party. What else is there to do, quite frankly?So we're not exactly surprised that 27 percent of Miamians have gotten it on in the midst of a hurricanes. Actually, we're surprised the percentage isn't higher.

Bella Beach: Free Exotic Shots Start Today As Hurricane Season Begins

Bella Beach, a chic Mediterranean-inspired restaurant and lounge located at Trump International Beach Resort has come up with a mouth-watering idea: free "Hurricane Bella" shots, made with a blend of Malibu Passion Fruit Rum, orange and lime juice, simple syrup and Blue Curacao. For the next few mon ... More >>

Miami's Rainy Season is Officially Here, National Weather Service Confirms

Meteorologists at the National Weather Service have confirmed what your often used umbrella and wet shoes already knew: it's officially rainy season in South Florida, and it has been since last Tuesday. Uh, thanks for the heads up science.Mother Nature seemed to be impatient this year however, since ... More >>

Expect an Even Rainier Than Normal Summer in Miami

We're just weeks away from the start of South Florida's wet season. Which, not to bum everyone out, means it's almost time for our daily mid-afternoon rain showers. Meteorologists predict that this summer could see even more rainfall than average this year. In terms of water levels and such, that's ... More >>

Today is the Last Day of Hurricane Season

Congratulations! You survived Emily, Irene, Rina, and all those other storms that threatened to come near us, yet never did. Yes, we've endured another hurricane season, and we won't even have to think about any possible category fives until next June. 

Ten Superstormy Classic Rock Songs for Hurricane Season

Crack reporter Dan Rather rockin' out like a freakin' hurricane.​One of the biggest drags about living in South Florida is the fact that we don't experience a change of season. Save one ... The dreaded hurricane season. It's bad enough we can't look forward to the leaves changing colors. Or bein ... More >>

Tropical Storm Emily Almost Dead But May Regroup

​The low pressure trough formerly known as Tropical Storm Emily fizzled after making its way through Haiti last night. (No deaths or injuries have been reported there.) Forecaster say there's still a chance Emily could regroup into a somewhat serious storm. Effects on South Florida remain unclear, ... More >>

Firework Sales Slump in Florida Thanks to Drought

​Well, Katy Perry, for your information Florida does feel like a paper bag. A dry, worn out paper bag that could catch fire at any moment and cause millions of acres of forest to go up in smoke thanks to the drought.According to The Palm Beach Post, while firework sales are up in pretty much every ... More >>

Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly: Haiti Unprepared for Hurricane Season

Michael E. MillerHaitian president Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly​Hurricane season starts tomorrow. And while South Florida is again bracing for the big one, nearby Haiti is still dangerously behind schedule after last year's devastating earthquake.Last summer the still-grieving country escaped the ... More >>

NOAA Predicts Up to 10 Hurricanes this Year, 18 Named Storms

​Miami's least favorite time of year, Hurricane Season, kicks off officially on June 1st, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is predicting an above average Atlantic season with as many as 18 named storms, ten hurricanes and six major hurricanes.

Tropical Storm Bonnie Projected to Be Pain in the Ass for Rest of the Day

Don't give us that look -- you're not that tough, Bonnie. ​The effects of Tropical Storm Bonnie are ripping through Miami, and while we here at New Times are no meteorological experts, we're projecting that the storm will be a "major pain in the ass" until this afternoon and then will be downgrade ... More >>

Tropical Depression Forms, Headed for Miami in the Next 36 Hours

via National Hurricane CenterThe Cone of Panic! ​Cue the breathless local TV announcers and the runs on milk, bread, and stout whiskey at Publix: Miami is officially in line to get hit with its first tropical storm of the season.The National Hurricane Center just issued a tropical storm warning fo ... More >>

Miami Ranked First Among Cities Long Overdue for a Major Hurricane

​The grim weathermen of Weather.com have put together a list of the vulnerable cities that are long overdue to fall victim to a major hurricane, and guess who took top honors? Yes, that's right, Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Besides Hurricane Andrew, a major hurricane (Category 3 or stronger) ha ... More >>

This May Was the Hottest in Miami on Record

Our poor understanding of science leads us to believe that any iguanas not killed by the cold snap will turn into this creature during the summer.​First we had a winter so brutally cold, by our standards anyway, that it literally killed iguanas, and now the warmer months are already shaping up to ... More >>

News Roundup: Unemployment Ties All-Time High

Forecaster predicts an "above normal" Hurricane season in 2010, with about two or three hurricanes making landfall in the U.S. [Herald]Florida is number three in total foreclosure filings. [Herald]And here's another cherry stat: Unemployment in Florida is at an all-time high of 11.9 percent. [CBS4]A ... More >>

Scientists' Crystal Ball Predicts Active 2009 Hurricane Season

From a local standpoint, the recently concluded hurricane season seemed to be a non-event, but less lucky locales such as Cuba and Haiti got hit hard by strong storms. Overall, it was an above average season, and next year is shaping up to follow in its path. A well-respected Colorado State Universi ... More >>

Shut up, New Orleans. Hurricane Miami Knows the Future.

Fay a Mild Annoyance on Monday Night

Any Excuse Will Do: Gamblers Pack Casinos During Pathetic TS Fay

Top Ten Places for a Hurricane Party - Enter Your Vote

BEST WEATHERCASTER

National Weather Service and National Hurricane Center

Ego Blow

Hurricane season howls again

BEST WEATHERCASTER

Don Noe

BEST REASON TO STAY IN MIAMI FOR THE SUMMER

Sultry nights

BEST WEATHERCASTER

Don Noe

WPLG-TV (Channel 10)

James L. Franklin

Personal Best

Best Weathercaster

Bill Kamal

Best Weathercaster

Don Noe

A Real Blowjob

Aim giant fans toward the ocean. Irrigate Africa. Fire NOAA. And other paranoid rants from the feds' conceptually challenged file.

Windfalls

The Last Frontier

When authorities pledged to reflood the Everglades, they tried to accommodate residents of the 8 1/2 Square Mile Area in Southwest Dade. They're still trying.

The Language of Nature

Destruction. Upheaval. Change. Rebirth. In the two years since Hurricane Andrew, Biscayne National Park has had to learn an entirely new vocabulary

Do You See a Squall in your Crystal Ball?

Six weeks into hurricane season, and barely a sprinkle. Forget the so-called weather experts, it's time for some real forecasting.

Weather People