Subject:

Weather

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2014

    The First Tropical Disturbance of the Year Is Rumbling Off Florida's Coast

    This is not a test. Hide your family. Sell all of your belongings for canned food and weaponry. Prepare yourself for utmost destruction. The year's first tropical disturbance is churning just off the coast of Florida, and the time has come to PANIC! Wait, what's that? It's basically just a big rain ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2014

    Florida's Tornadoes Are the Deadliest in the Country

    Compared to the miles-wide F5 monsters that roar across the Kansas and Nebraska plains, Florida's tornadoes are usually quaint little dust devils that pop up momentarily and never get the space to grow into city-destroying catastrophes. Yet it's the Sunshine State's mini-twisters that are the deadl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 28, 2014

    Florida Hurricane Expert: 75 Percent Chance State Gets Hit This Year

    It's been nine years since the double-whammy of Katrina and Wilma walloped Miami, and the Magic City has coasted through every hurricane season since without a scratch. Most weather experts have predicted more of the same this year, with another strong El Niño system tamping down tropical storms. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2013

    Humberto Will Probably Become First Hurricane of 2013, Just Miss Record

    Have you noticed there haven't been any hurricanes this year? It's hard to miss a palm tree floating down the middle of Collins Avenue, but there hasn't even been a 'cane that's petered out in the middle of the Atlantic. Are you now realizing an alarming absence of those awesome local TV news segmen ... More >>

  • News

    August 29, 2013
  • Blogs

    July 10, 2013

    Tropical Storm Chantal Is Dead

    Tropical Storm Chantal was pronounced dead today at approximately 4:40 p.m. after dissipating in the Caribbean Sea about 260 miles south of Cuba. So all you relatively newly arrived folk who haven't gone through this hundreds of times before can all stop freaking out. Though, Chantal's remnants co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 9, 2013

    Tropical Storm Chantal Might Reach Florida Monday

    You might want to think twice before forcing your local bank teller to cash last week's paycheck in all singles to hoard in your emergency bunker. Forecasters are still unsure if Tropical Storm Chantal will make it to Florida. If it does arrive, tentatively expect to have your Hypnotiq-fueled hurric ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 3, 2013

    Happy Hurricane Season! Florida Might Get Hit By a Named Storm This Week

    It's the first Monday of hurricane season, which means all across the Sunshine State thousands are heading into work with the vague feeling they've forgotten something important (PSSST! Hurricane supplies, people. Specifically: vodka and board games.). Well, here's a kick in the ass to get that kit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2013

    Miami's High Temperatures Are About to Break a January Record

    Technically it is actually the middle of winter, but Miami has had temperatures in the 80s for 15 straight days now. That's matched a record for the most days above 80 degrees in winter since records have been kept, according to CBS Miami. The previous stretch was in 2002, and it's expected we'll li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2012

    VIDEO: Stray Cat Interrupts Local Weather Report

    WLTV's chief meteorologist Eduardo Rodriquez was just trying to deliver the weather forecast on Miami's Univision station when he was unexpectedly joined by a stray cat who wandered in from the parking lot. This shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone, as well all know stray cats do whatever the h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2012

    Hurricane Sandy: A Message to the Northeast from Miami

    Oh hey Northeast, how you doing? Oh, you're about to get a hurricane. It's a Category One. That's cute. We totally didn't even hear about it. Oh, wait, that's all we're hearing about right now.Listen, we're kind of jealous. A hurricane comes towards Florida and it gets maybe a 30 second mention on C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2012

    Hurricane Sandy Brings Soggy Weather, Probably Won't Ruin Your Halloween Weekend

    Hurricane Sandy isn't expected to make landfall in Florida, but the storm will still be annoying as the outer bands hit the southeastern part of the state throughout the day.Miami-Dade is under a tropical storm warning, meaning a lot of rain and wind are expected. The conditions are forecasted to la ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2012

    Tropical Storm Sandy Could Make Life Miserable For South Florida Tomorrow

    There's no need to raid Publix for water, hurricane shutters, vodka and "Golden Girls" DVDs just yet, but you might as well prepare yourself for a miserable end of the week thanks to Tropical Storm Sandy.The strengthening storm is set to become a Cat 1 hurricane before walloping Jamaica later today, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Tropical Storm Isaac: Still Mildly Annoying Miami, Threatening New Orleans

    The worst of Tropical Storm Isaac has officially blown through the Keys and into the Gulf this morning, though its sloppy remains are still drenching Dade. Riptide's storm experts have begun tallying the damage Isaac wrought in Florida: 80,000 or so without power, minor flooding here and there, and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2012

    Hurricane Andrew Then, Isaac Now: Stock Up With Gourmet Goodies

    It's only fitting that on the 20th anniversary of Hurricane Andrew, there's a storm brewing out in the Caribbean (with another one nipping at Isaac's ankles). It is fiercely debated whether Hurricane Andrew was the worst natural disaster in American history. At the time, the Category 5 hurricane tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2012

    Tropical Storm Isaac: Watch Out For Falling Palm Fronds UPDATED

    If you're like us at Riptide, your eyes have been rolling all morning watching NBC 6, CBS 4, Local 10, and WSVN make fools of themselves reporting on the "awful" conditions brought by Tropical Storm Isaac. Yeah, there's been some rain and wind, and Miami even experienced some brownouts last nig ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2012

    Tropical Storm Isaac: Hurricane Warning, Schools Closed Monday UPDATED

    It's happening, people! Southern Miami-Dade and the Florida Keys are under a hurricane watch as Tropical Storm Isaac keeps moving northwest at 17 mph. The northern part of the county remains under a hurricane warning.The latest NOAA update has the storm making landfall in Cuba with max sustained win ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2012

    Tropical Storm Isaac: Welcome To The Cone of Concern, Miami

    Riptide's crack meteorological team has just issued this update on Tropical Storm Isaac: 09:17:00 AM EST Due to favorable wind shear and hot ocean temps, by Monday TS Isaac is expected to rage with the devastating power of ten thousand nuclear bombs. It will personally find your house, smash each in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2012

    Tropical Storm Isaac Close To Forming, Could Threaten RNC In Tampa

    Between the cash-hungry strip clubs, the prime-time Rick Scott speech, and the 50,000-plus conservatives and 20,000 protestors squaring off, Tampa is already going to be one insane circus from hell next week. The only thing that could possibly make the Republican National Convention better would be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2012

    Bella Beach: Free Exotic Shots Start Today As Hurricane Season Begins

    Bella Beach, a chic Mediterranean-inspired restaurant and lounge located at Trump International Beach Resort has come up with a mouth-watering idea: free "Hurricane Bella" shots, made with a blend of Malibu Passion Fruit Rum, orange and lime juice, simple syrup and Blue Curacao. For the next few mon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Miami's Rainy Season is Officially Here, National Weather Service Confirms

    Meteorologists at the National Weather Service have confirmed what your often used umbrella and wet shoes already knew: it's officially rainy season in South Florida, and it has been since last Tuesday. Uh, thanks for the heads up science.Mother Nature seemed to be impatient this year however, since ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2011

    Today is the Last Day of Hurricane Season

    Congratulations! You survived Emily, Irene, Rina, and all those other storms that threatened to come near us, yet never did. Yes, we've endured another hurricane season, and we won't even have to think about any possible category fives until next June. 

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Ten Superstormy Classic Rock Songs for Hurricane Season

    Crack reporter Dan Rather rockin' out like a freakin' hurricane.​One of the biggest drags about living in South Florida is the fact that we don't experience a change of season. Save one ... The dreaded hurricane season. It's bad enough we can't look forward to the leaves changing colors. Or bein ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2011

    Firework Sales Slump in Florida Thanks to Drought

    ​Well, Katy Perry, for your information Florida does feel like a paper bag. A dry, worn out paper bag that could catch fire at any moment and cause millions of acres of forest to go up in smoke thanks to the drought.According to The Palm Beach Post, while firework sales are up in pretty much every ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2011

    Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly: Haiti Unprepared for Hurricane Season

    Michael E. MillerHaitian president Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly​Hurricane season starts tomorrow. And while South Florida is again bracing for the big one, nearby Haiti is still dangerously behind schedule after last year's devastating earthquake.Last summer the still-grieving country escaped the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2011

    NOAA Predicts Up to 10 Hurricanes this Year, 18 Named Storms

    ​Miami's least favorite time of year, Hurricane Season, kicks off officially on June 1st, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is predicting an above average Atlantic season with as many as 18 named storms, ten hurricanes and six major hurricanes.

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2010

    Tropical Storm Bonnie Projected to Be Pain in the Ass for Rest of the Day

    Don't give us that look -- you're not that tough, Bonnie. ​The effects of Tropical Storm Bonnie are ripping through Miami, and while we here at New Times are no meteorological experts, we're projecting that the storm will be a "major pain in the ass" until this afternoon and then will be downgrade ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2010

    Tropical Depression Forms, Headed for Miami in the Next 36 Hours

    via National Hurricane CenterThe Cone of Panic! ​Cue the breathless local TV announcers and the runs on milk, bread, and stout whiskey at Publix: Miami is officially in line to get hit with its first tropical storm of the season.The National Hurricane Center just issued a tropical storm warning fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2010

    News Roundup: Unemployment Ties All-Time High

    Forecaster predicts an "above normal" Hurricane season in 2010, with about two or three hurricanes making landfall in the U.S. [Herald]Florida is number three in total foreclosure filings. [Herald]And here's another cherry stat: Unemployment in Florida is at an all-time high of 11.9 percent. [CBS4]A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2008

    Scientists' Crystal Ball Predicts Active 2009 Hurricane Season

    From a local standpoint, the recently concluded hurricane season seemed to be a non-event, but less lucky locales such as Cuba and Haiti got hit hard by strong storms. Overall, it was an above average season, and next year is shaping up to follow in its path. A well-respected Colorado State Universi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2008
  • Blogs

    August 19, 2008

    Fay a Mild Annoyance on Monday Night

    Jose D. Duran A soaked Monday night along North Miami Avenue. As the outer bands of Tropical Storm Fay went over South Florida, local stations were having a field day. It had been some time since the area was threaten by storm. WSVN reporter Rene Marsh stood along the shore of some unnamed beach is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2008

    Any Excuse Will Do: Gamblers Pack Casinos During Pathetic TS Fay

    Jamie Adams via Wikimedia Commons Fay, lame lassy that she was, didn’t stop South Florida’s gamblers from seizing on the excuse to hunker down at a felt table. As the squall squealed Monday evening, the Miccosukee casino swelled as if it was Stimulus Check Season all over again. Besides the cro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2007
  • Diversions

    May 12, 2005

    BEST WEATHERCASTER

    National Weather Service and National Hurricane Center

  • Calendar

    June 3, 2004

    Ego Blow

    Hurricane season howls again

  • Diversions

    May 15, 2003
  • City Life

    May 15, 2003
  • Diversions

    May 16, 2002

    BEST WEATHERCASTER

    Don Noe

    WPLG-TV (Channel 10)

  • Best of Miami

    May 17, 2001

    James L. Franklin

    Personal Best

  • Diversions

    May 17, 2001
  • News

    September 30, 1999

    A Real Blowjob

    Aim giant fans toward the ocean. Irrigate Africa. Fire NOAA. And other paranoid rants from the feds' conceptually challenged file.

  • News

    July 1, 1999
  • News

    January 5, 1995

    The Last Frontier

    When authorities pledged to reflood the Everglades, they tried to accommodate residents of the 8 1/2 Square Mile Area in Southwest Dade. They're still trying.

  • News

    August 16, 1994

    The Language of Nature

    Destruction. Upheaval. Change. Rebirth. In the two years since Hurricane Andrew, Biscayne National Park has had to learn an entirely new vocabulary

  • News

    July 21, 1993

    Do You See a Squall in your Crystal Ball?

    Six weeks into hurricane season, and barely a sprinkle. Forget the so-called weather experts, it's time for some real forecasting.

  • News

    March 13, 1991
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