Hey prog junkies. You might wanna bring out your King Crimson T-shirts, psychedelic "vibes," and sunscreen... We're gonna glide away to the era of Yes, Rush, and Dream Theater aboard the Progressive Nation at Sea cruise. Setting sail from the Port of Miami on the Norwegian Pearl in February 2014 ... More >>
Ahoy, beat freaks!!! The bad news: Holy Ship!!! 2014 is sold out. The slightly less bad news: You can join a waiting list, just in case some weak-ass cruiser cops out and cancels his trip. And now the good news: Everyone's favorite uhntz-uhtnz-ing high seas adventure has just announced a 45-act l ... More >>
Holy Effing Ship!!! Those three exclamation points signify three years for electronic dance music's raddest four-day party cruise. (It ain't just bad grammar or Internet-y hyperbole.) Coincidentally, though, we're exactly that beat-freaking excited about the 2014 edition of Hard Events' EDM humpf ... More >>
Black makeup, platform shoes, and leather pants are seldom worn on the high seas. But once a year, the KISS Navy throws a bash aboard a luxury vessel and encourages folks to dress like their favorite 1970s rock stars. Skippered by Admiral Gene Simmons and Co-Commanding Officer Paul Stanley, KISS K ... More >>
On the same day that MTV announced its Video Music Awards nominees, Nicki Minaj (who's up for two Moon Men) released a video for her latest single, "Pound the Alarm," on YouTube. Oh, the irony ... To our knowledge, the four-minute video is only available online, though we're guessing that MTV will ... More >>
South Florida activist group 1Miami is hosting a gathering this weekend in Hialeah and Little Haiti to bring Carnival Cruise Lines to the public's attention. They say Carnival is figuratively "sinking Miami." While most associate the cruise line with family memories, bad sunburns, and tanning oil ... More >>
You're going to have to wait for that romantic cruise to Havana. Under President Obama, travel restrictions to Cuba have eased from the Bush years, with new air charters opening routes from Miami and Tampa and even Texas to the island. That thaw, though, apparently doesn't include passenger boats ... More >>
photo by Citking via Wikimedia CommonsOn October 10, 2010, off the coast of Israel, a 40-year-old South African woman working on a Celebrity cruise ship blacked out while having a drink with a male co-worker in his cabin. She awoke hours later to find the man, a Costa Rican, raping her.The sexual ... More >>
Carnival Cruise Lines announced that it will partner with Food Network host and author Guy Fieri to bring Fieri's concept of a roadside burger joint to life.Guy's Burger Joint will feature Fieri's creations, as well as a variety of sauces ranging from chipotle mayonnaise and a special barbecue sa ... More >>
Past dredge work near the Port of MiamiUnlike the giant, post-Panamax freighters that might never arrive, the deep dredging of the Port of Miami approaches with near certainty. Florida Gov. Rick Scott has promised funds, regulators have given a green light, and a Brazilian construction company ha ... More >>
Rivers Cuomo wants to cruise with you.Who would've pegged Weezer's Rivers Cuomo for a cruise enthusiast? But in a YouTube commercial posted today, the emo icon appears ocean-ready (no Buddy Holly glasses) and dressed in a totally Carnival-appropriate outfit (crappy baseball cap and striped, navy ... More >>
A document nutty with consumer outrage crossed our desk last week. In mid-April, a Florida woman -- due to the sensitive nature of this topic, we'll just call her Consuela -- sent a complaint to Carnival Cruise Lines' Doral headquarters documenting the nasty saga that was her groups' recent t ... More >>
via myspace.com/ohseesBruise Cruise vets Thee Oh Sees.Good news for anyone who missed the chance to rock out ironically while simultaneously creeping out sunbathing Midwesterners this past February ... As our sister blog County Grind reported earier today, Bruise Cruise Festival organizers have a ... More >>
Photo by Tim ElfrinkTo celebrate Tax Day, the folks at Right to the City and MoveOn.org decided it was high time to combine the best traditions of 1985-era Chicago Bears dancing and progressive lefty political agitation. The result? Behold the "Tax the Rich Shuffle." William "The Fridge" Perry wa ... More >>
Torben Bjorn Hansen, Flickr The Bruise Cruise sets sail from the Port of Miami on Friday. And while there's plenty of dope coming through Dodge Island, y'all better think twice about sneaking some out; narcs like to prey on unsuspecting travelers, especially theme cruise passengers. In January, ... More >>
Photo by Riki AltmanMaster Chef Rudi Sodamin (foreground) with Chefs Jacques Torres (far left), David Burke (left), and Charlie Trotter (far right)Holland America invited Short Order aboard the ms Noordam a few weeks ago to meet its new Culinary Council. We nearly plotzed after discovering that mean ... More >>
The beginning of the year marks the season of the increasingly popular and numerous music-themed cruises that depart from South Florida. They range from the obscure (cruises themed to singer-songwriters, or classic R&B), to the more pop-minded (John Mayer's and the Barenaked Ladies' trips), t ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Up this week, Luke makes the case for legalizing marijuana across the nation, beginning in Miami-Dade County.Off the bat, I am not a weed he ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins lost to the Atlanta Falcons 19-7, and it wasn't even that kind of loss where you could be like, "Well, at least their so-and-so looks good this year." It was just brutal. [Herald]Ferry service from Miami to Havana? It might just happen. [NYTimes]Oh, no! Someone pulled a smash ... More >>
Back in the glory days of 1913 there was a bridge between Miami and Miami Beach that you could safely walk on with out fear of being hit by the Bentley of NFL player. You might have had to dodge a few moguls in Model Ts though. The Collin Bridge was over 2 1/2 miles long and was torn down in 1925 ... More >>
Saving the Glades could mean screwing these guys.
I imagine being stuck on a boat with a bunch of cruise ship people is bad enough, but recently returning to Miami I was stuck on a plane full of cruise ship people. Pure airline hell: horrendously behaved toddlers, people eating strange smelling food, and quite a few folks who maybe should have aske ... More >>
A Cutler Bay man funneled money to the Irish terrorists who murdered two British soldiers in Belfast on Saturday, federal prosecutors say in a complaint unsealed in Miami-Dade court today and obtained by Riptide.Courtesy Wikimedia CommonsAn IRA mural in Belfast. An IRA splinter group took credit for ... More >>
Bayside Marketplace -- a place we've been to once, because our best friend used a Chili's gift certificate from her grandma there -- is up for sale. The owner, General Growth Properties, is in a superbad financial situation (who isn't?) and has decided Bayside doesn't fit into its core niche of ... More >>
Miami's most cantankerous billionaire could win by TKO.
Port of Miami (Def Jam)
Titanic Restaurant & Brewery
Cruise lines throw workers overboard when it comes to providing urgent medical care.
New Times gives a tour of the Miami Children's Museum and its corporate exhibitisements -- for kids of all ages!
From the issue of September 28, 2000
Somehow no one noticed that a monstrous gash was illegally being dug into the bottom of Biscayne Bay
Letters from the issue of March 30, 2000
Letters from the issue of February 24, 2000
Grand Prix poobah Ralph Sanchez went to the downtown Howard Johnson's with his hand outstretched. And an ultimatum.