Walt Disney World Resort

Holy Ship!! 2013, Day One: Major Lazer, Justice, and Surprise Guest Skrillex!

On Friday afternoon, nearly 3,000 raver chicks, dude guys, scenesters, club kids and DJs assembled at a port in Fort Lauderdale and boarded the MSC Poesia, AKA Holy Ship!! (There are two exclamation points because this is the second edition of the EDM party cruise put on by L.A.'s Hard Events.) The ... More >>

Here's Our Official Petition For South Florida to Secede From The Rest of This Awful State

The old line goes that "the great thing about Miami is how close it is to the United States." The truth is, though, the worst thing about Miami is how close it is to Florida.So, when we learned yesterday that there was an effort underway to have Florida secede from the union, we were thrilled. Becau ... More >>

Read Mail: Don't Mock Jesus on the New Times Cover

Celebration, Florida's First Murder Victim Sexually Abused Miami Beach Kids, Report Says

The brutal 2010 murder of Matteo Patrick Giovanditto was doubly shocking. It was the first killing in the idyllic, planned community of Celebration, Florida -- built by The Walt Disney Company near Disney World. Then there was the brutality of the crime: Giovanditto was found strangled with a shoela ... More >>

Cognac Heir Cyril Camus on Hunting Boar With a Knife, Calls Incredible Hulk "A Bit Redundant"

If Cyril Camus had not been the heir to the fifth-largest cognac house in the world -- and the largest to be family-owned and -operated -- Camus Cognac would have had to pull him from soot-faced Dickensian obscurity and put him in charge anyway.He has the longish hair and perma-stubble of the rakes ... More >>

RNC Delegate Outraged to Find Mexican Working at Disney's Epcot

Before heading to the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Mark and Irene Harris decided to stop in Orlando to visit Epcot at Walt Disney World. While in the World Showcase area of the Disney park, the Harrises were absolutely outraged to find a person of Mexican descent working at the American ... More >>

Seven Least Punk Rock Moments in Punk Rock History

See also "Ten Raging Punks (And Other Rockers) Who Crashed the Daytime Talk Show Circuit." Punk rock is more than just a genre of music. It's an attitude, a lifestyle, a way of carrying oneself in the face of life's silly bullshit and tired assholes. But if we can define what punk is, then we can ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Plans His Own Disney World: A Libertador Theme Park

Do you love Disney World, but wish Mickey and Minnie were a little heavier on the socialism? Why can't Space Mountain also educate kids about the glories of Simon Bolivar's revolution? Don't worry: Hugo Chavez is on the case.The Venezuelan president announced plans this week to turn the site of a ke ... More >>

Chris Bosh Went to Taco Bell Right After Winning Championship

Super Bowl champs go to Disney World, but apparently NBA Champs go to Taco Bell.Chris Bosh was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and admitted that his first stop after winning his first ring was the drive through of the Taco Bell. He did however end up at LIV with the rest of team, but goofs with Kim ... More >>

11-Year-Old Girl Electrocuted to Death in Orlando Putt-Putt Golf Course Pond

An 11-year-old girl visiting from New York died on Wednesday in Orlando after being electrocuted while trying to fetch a ball from a pond at a resort's putt-putt golf course.Ashton Jojo was visiting Orange Lake Resort, just a few miles west of the Disney World parks, with her family from Latham, New ... More >>

Wynwood Brewing Company Signs Lease, Plans to Open by November

Read also "Beer History Milestones" and "Beer Snobs Rejoice! Wynwood Brewing Company Soon to Open." Short Order announced the opening of Wynwood Brewing Company last year, but Luis Brignoni lacked a place to set up his brewery. On Monday, though, he signed a lease. Nonbelievers, listen up.The Wynwoo ... More >>

Jay-Z, Beyoncé Join Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow for Florida Trip: A Family Fun Guide Featuring Miami Zombie Tour!

Jay Z and Beyoncé love Florida. So much, in fact, they're planning to spend their family vacation exploring the 65,755-sqaure-mile peninsula that 19 million of us call home. According to Contact Music, after Jigga and Coldplay wrap their respective world tours, the hip-hop power couple is teaming ... More >>

Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain Onstage

Tupac's "Live" Performance Will Bring Back More Dead Artists

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke marvels at the technology that brought Tupac back to life. The lifelike image of Tupac Shakur performing onstage at Coachell ... More >>

SNL Takes on Trayvon Martin and Ozzie Guillen

Saturday Night Live dove full-on into the Trayvon Martin case this weekend. Of course, there's not a whole lot humor to be found in the specifics of the case, so instead the show lampooned CNN's Piers Morgan, Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen (played by host Josh Brolin), and Florida in general (" ... More >>

Marlins President David Samson is Going to Run 50 Miles Because He Can

The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>

Fort Lauderdale, Orlando Among "Gayest Cities in America," Miami Snubbed

​Using a highly scientific formula that considers factors including WNBA teams, nude yoga sessions, and local Mr. Leather semifinalists (uh, no, really), the Advocate magazine has crunched out its annual list of the "Gayest Cities in America." The Sunshine State was well represented -- by Fort Lau ... More >>

Gingrich, Romney Ramp Up Florida Campaigning Ahead of State Primary UPDATED

​UPDATE: Turns out Rep. Ron Paul is dumping us -- though it looks like he has mailers going out to voters, Politico reports his campaign is skipping the Florida primary to concentrate on caucuses in February, a decision likely informed by Paul polling horribly&nb ... More >>

Walt Disney Doesn't Want You To Know Which Political Campaigns It's Paying For

​Walt Disney might be known best for sunny characters like Mickey Mouse, but that doesn't mean it's opposed to a little dark political skullduggery on the side. Disney is worst among big American corporations in terms of political transparency, according to the D.C.-based nonpartisan Center for Po ... More >>

Off! at Culture Room October 23

Overweight Man Sues White Castle For Not Having Size-Appropriate Seating, Claims Disability

​A 290-pound man is suing White Castle because the seats at the iconic, fast-food restaurant are too small. I sit here shaking my head because I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost.First, let me share what I know so far. The man, a faithful customer of a White Castle located in Nanuet, New York, ... More >>

Ten Things Channing Crowder Can Do Now That He's Retired

​After six seasons with the Miami Dolphins, Channing Crowder has announced his retirement from football after being cut from the team last month. Yet Crowder is only 27 and has his entire life in front of him. It's not too late for our favorite Fins loudmouth to find a new passion in life, and we' ... More >>

"When Tony Gets Hungry, Things Die." Anthony Bourdain's Ten Best Quotes

Will Bourdain feature Club Deuce on his new show?​Anthony Bourdain is debuting his second Travel Channel show this fall. Titled 24-Hour Layover, it will focus on what happens between trips to Greenland and Vietnam and Cuba.In other words, what does Tony do closer to home? The show will b ... More >>

Tania Ramirez of Food Cart USA Expands Miami Food Truck Scene

Latin Burger & Taco was Food Cart USA's first food truck.Going to a food truck roundup is like visiting Disney World. Bright colors, hearty meals, and long lines amass in an almost euphoric flurry. The trucks seem to simply appear before your eyes, delivering mouth-watering goodness.Behind ... More >>

Wines at Vizcaya Are Fruity and Whimsical

via Vizcaya Café & Shop​At Vizcaya, the historical mansion on Biscayne Bay in Coconut Grove, you can get some crazy wine.At a recent tasting in the under-construction café, I quaffed the Hurricane Class 5 Florida white sangria. It's a delicious mix of pineapple, watermelon, passion fruit, ke ... More >>

Miami Ranked 10th Most Dangerous Spring Break Destination

​It's that time of year when college students across the country take a break from their busy schedules of binge-drinking in hoodies and sweatpants in dorms and frat houses to change it up and binge-drink in bikinis on beaches. Yes, it's spring break. As always, South Florida attracts its fair sha ... More >>

Don Omar Beats Down Britney Spears and Invades Latin Hangout 90 Degree

​Don Omar is a platinum-selling reggaeton artist based out of San Juan, New York City, and Miami. He's also the guy who trumped Britney Spears for most albums sold during an in-store appearance at Disney World's Virgin Megastore. And now the Puerto Rican playa and owner of Orfanato Music Group ... More >>

Concert Review: Surfer Blood, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart at Grand Central, June 12

photo by Jacqueline Nusz​Poplife's Anniversary Party With Surfer Blood, the Pains of Being Pure at Heart, and Hooray for Earth Grand Central, Miami Saturday, June 12, 2010 Better than: Getting pains for being too pure of heart, or surfing in blood, or.... The Review: The hipsterati and then some ... More >>

Disney Unveils World's Largest Canned Food Sculpture

As part of it's ongoing efforts to promote volunteer-ism, Walt Disney World in Orlando unveiled a giant sculpture made completely of canned goods. It's believed to be the biggest sculpture ever completed of canned goods, and the video above shows the time lapsed construction.&Made of 115,527 can ... More >>

In a Democratic Wet Dream, We'd Belong to the State of the Everglades

​It's not exactly uncommon to hear someone floating around the political fantasy of South Florida becoming its own state. Not to say it'd ever actually happen, but c'mon, we all know the rest of Florida is holding us back. Well, a new political map that redraws the United States with the idea ... More >>

Legoland Florida Makes it Rain Bricks

via About.com​Historic Florida theme park Cypress Gardens, which pre-dated Disney World by 35 years, is officially no more. Merlin Entertainment dumped a bulldozer load of lego blocks on it and officially declared it the future home of Legoland Florida.The park will be the world's largest Legoland ... More >>

Imagineering the Possibilities

Penniless Purgatory

Minerva Vasquez speaks for the first time about the terrorism charges against husband Narseal Batiste

Tin Chefs

The disconnect between a culinary student's white-collar dreams and the restaurant world's blue-collar reality

Scorsese's Art Dago

GONY is Mean Streets as Disney World

Letters from the Issue of December 26, 2002

The antiwar battle continues

What Art Thou, Little Havana?

Viernes Culturales is transforming Calle Ocho -- but into what remains a big question

Tears of a Clown

The Eyes of Tammy Faye teaches us that garish televangelists have feelings, too

Calendar for the week

Letters

Calendar for the week

Swelter

Guns R Us

You live in Rio de Janeiro and you've got a little problem with an overzealous police force. Your difficulties could be solved with a few hundred assault rifles and a couple of tons of ammo. Welcome to Miami!

Kitsch Highway

The Sybil Syndrome

Fine Dino

Descend in the Clowns

Foxes

The Sweet Buy-and-Buy

Pee-Wee Herman Needs Your Help

Kid-show creator Paul Reubens allegedly gets caught with his pants down. Only in America could this ruin a brilliant career.