The last time Shaq signed up to be South Florida cop, his application was a memorable catastrophe. In addition to claiming one of the greatest skill sets in law enforcement -- "Laptop computer, binnochulars [sic], master of surveillance" -- Shaq papered over his involvement in a violent Disney World ... More >>
Shaq is doing it again! The seven-foot-one former Heat center strolled into a Doral City Council meeting yesterday to glad-hand and take photos with the staffers and then revealed his real reason for coming: He's applying to be a reserve officer with the town's police force, which is run by his old ... More >>
It's a Saturday night, and you're not sure what to do. It's all been done before, dinner, movies, that bar down the street, or a club in South Beach. You're looking for something more exciting, easy on the pockets, and a way to interact with other people. You're looking for a pub crawl. Last Call ... More >>
Either Shaquille O'Neal has forgotten how to use a computer, or he's grown humble with age. On his July application to become a part-time cop for the Golden Beach Police Department, the former NBA star simply scrawled "none" across the three lines for answering the question about what special equip ... More >>
Yesterday the Orlando Sentinel wrote an explosive story about how a soccer team from Miami had allegedly instigated a vicious on-field brawl during a tournament at Disney World. "Parents who witnessed the Saturday afternoon altercation painted a particularly vivid picture of parents and players from ... More >>
We were perusing Complex's "50 Best Strip Clubs in America" with a bit of disgust. The mag rattles off multiple clubs in places like Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, and Pompano Beach, and we were just sitting there thinking, The hell, you not gonna put some Miami clubs on this list? There's even a club ... More >>
On Friday afternoon, nearly 3,000 raver chicks, dude guys, scenesters, club kids and DJs assembled at a port in Fort Lauderdale and boarded the MSC Poesia, AKA Holy Ship!! (There are two exclamation points because this is the second edition of the EDM party cruise put on by L.A.'s Hard Events.) The ... More >>
See the full 45-photo slideshow from Summer of Weirds 2012 at Churchill's Pub. Summer of Weirds III With Xela Zaid, Sharlyn Evertsz, Ed Wilcox, The Jellyfish Brothers, Rose Quartz, Mr. Feathers, Crucial Taunt, Luma Junger, and This Heart Electric Churchill's Pub, Miami Tuesday, August 7, 2012 Bett ... More >>
See also "Best Coast Ranks Other Coasts, Survives Slayer Riot, Can't Punch Out Glenn Danzig." As one half of Best Coast, Bobb Bruno loves California and stands by his band's designation of it as "The Only Place." That's the title of the album and single they'll be touring at Grand Central tonight, ... More >>
In an effort to reduce childhood obesity, the Walt Disney Company will limit junk food advertisements on TV programs, radio shows and websites that are aimed at children, according to sources knowledgeable of the plan. Disney chief executive Bob Iger and First Lady Michelle Obama plan on announcing ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke marvels at the technology that brought Tupac back to life. The lifelike image of Tupac Shakur performing onstage at Coachell ... More >>
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>
Performance-wise, no Kraftwerk show is really more special than any other. The band's very German mastery of automation, precision, and repetation renders the men on stage as close to robots as their Man Machine album would suggest. To say one Kraftwerk performance is really any better than anoth ... More >>
Using a highly scientific formula that considers factors including WNBA teams, nude yoga sessions, and local Mr. Leather semifinalists (uh, no, really), the Advocate magazine has crunched out its annual list of the "Gayest Cities in America." The Sunshine State was well represented -- by Fort Lau ... More >>
UPDATE: Turns out Rep. Ron Paul is dumping us -- though it looks like he has mailers going out to voters, Politico reports his campaign is skipping the Florida primary to concentrate on caucuses in February, a decision likely informed by Paul polling horribly&nb ... More >>
When he was traded from the LA Lakers to the Miami Heat in 2004, Shaquille O'Neal became a reserve officer on the Miami Beach police force. Like any cop in Florida, O'Neal had a personnel file that is subject to a public records request. We've embedded the file below. As in everything S ... More >>
John ZurChef Timon Balloo of Sugarcane serving his braised beef short ribsA huge line stretched from the entrance of The Oasis, at The Raleigh Hotel, towards Collins Avenue on Saturday night. The fine smell of barbecue just over the wall inspired impatience.Once inside, guests didn't know whether ... More >>
Dwayne Wade was forced to sit out thanks to a migraine, while Chris Bosh sat out his second-straight game with a bum left ankle. And so LeBron James was left to the mercy of having to rely on Mario Chalmers and Carlos Arroyo for support if the Miami Heat was going to snap their longest losing str ... More >>
Photo by Christine BorgesJavelinWith EntresolThe Awarehouse, MiamiSaturday, November 13, 2010Better than: Playing Skip-It while having 1980s cartoon flashbacks.OK, so there were a lot of shows to see last night. Between Vivian Girls, Social Distortion, Paul Oakenfold, Miami Film Festival, the Art ... More >>
Yet another reason: The fact we hopefully don't have to explain to anyone this is a FriendsWithYou Valentine CardWe love bashing our own city. We'll instantaneously bite the head off any non-Miamians who dares talk down about our town, but sometimes it seems we take a bit too much pleasure in ... More >>
Could we be experiencing a little déjà vu tonight?Nothing would please us more than seeing some dancing robots on stage with Phoenix tonight. And we're not talking soon-to-take-over-the-world wonders of mechanical prowess. We want Daft Punk.Yes, Phoenix is a great band and that's why we insiste ... More >>
Photo by Miamism The coffee ventanilla is as quintessentially Miami as traffic and humidity. It's our Starbucks, political town hall, and fast food counter rolled into one. But not every window is created equal. The perfect ventanilla, like a precisely measured cafecito, requires the right rat ... More >>
Night Watch is a regular feature about bars and clubs by nightlife columnist Tara Nieuwesteeg. The Isle Casino & Racing in Pompano is seriously like Disney World for degenerate adults. Seriously, you lose entertainment-and-booze filled hours in a casino and walk out to find it's already dark ... More >>
Superstar drummer of Devo and A Perfect Circle sells himself, his famous friends, and all-you-can-eat shrimp dinners to promote his new album.
J. Thompson The Sword are a hard-hitting, sludgy, but epic quartet from Austin, Texas, who are preoccupied with very metally subjects like Norse mythology and the science fiction writings of George R. R. Martin. And irony be damned, they’re damned serious about it. “It's not a joke at all,” s ... More >>
Rock miners are prepared to dig near the Everglades.
With his latest album, Life Unscripted, Garcia proves he could be 305 hip-hop's next big deal
Bill Clinton has unfinished business in Homestead, a town he visited long ago but wouldn't recognize today
White Party Week raises money to combat AIDS. Lots of money. So much money, in fact, that where once there was cooperation now there is competition.
New Times gives a tour of the Miami Children's Museum and its corporate exhibitisements -- for kids of all ages!
From the issue of August 17, 2000
For countless undocumented immigrant kids, America is not the land of puppies and Disney trips, but the land of neglect
Used, Abused, and Alone
Can an Orlando housewife and her lime-flavor soda compete with the big boys of carbonation?
Miami city manager Cesar Odio loves to hand out taxpayer money to his friends. It's not under the table, but it is under the radar.
Put down the field glasses and close up the guidebooks. When Florida's top avian enthusiasts do battle, the feathers fly.
How can Miami ever develop a decent music scene when its best bands keep leaving town?
WIOD's Phil Hendrie hears voices in his head. They tell him what to do. They tell him what to say. And right now they're telling him to make you laugh.
Superstars fly personal jets from concert to concert. Real rock bands rent a van and go. Natural Causes is a real band. They're renting a van. And we're going with them.