We apologize in advance, but we guess you could say his milkshake brings all the boys to their grave. Forty-one-year-old Timothy Gochenour of Vero Beach is behind bars after allegedly killing his roommate with a drug-laced milkshake.
Beer geeks across the state of Florida have tears in their beers as the bills legalizing 64-ounce growlers didn't make the final cut when the Florida legislature ended its session last Friday Senate Bill 1344 did not make it past the Commerce and Tourism committee and the House's version, HB 714, d ... More >>
Last night, on the season finale of the Discovery Channel show Curiosity, the world got its first look at one of the most elusive and mysterious creatures on the planet: the giant squid.The kraken's cameo would never have been possible, however, if not for the futuristic submarine used to film it. J ... More >>
Brenda Schumann found her husband, a man almost a decade younger, in a bed with a naked woman who in turn was his junior by almost a decade. So what did she decide to do? She decided to relieve herself all around their apartment and pull out a rifle.
On one hand, monogamy is boring. On the other, jealousy is a strange, unpredictable emotion. So you should really think things through before inviting your friend to have a threesome with you and your wife or else things could end up involving a baseball bat. (And not even in a fun, kinky kind of wa ... More >>
You'd think the Florida Department of Education has more important things to worry about like the FCAT debacle. Instead, state education officials are working hard, wasting taxpayer money, to make sure Luther Campbell -- former 2 Live Crew front man and current New Times columnist -- doesn't get to ... More >>
It was Rihanna, one of our greatest and most poetic songbirds, who once sang, "Please don't stop the, please don't stop the, please don't stop the music."A 17-year-old girl in Vero Beach didn't get the message and ended up getting bit in the leg by her drunk mother.
Movie director James Cameron is poised to win the unofficial submarine race to the bottom of the ocean.According to news reports, Cameron and a team of scientists are perched atop the Mariana Trench waiting for optimal weather conditions to dive nearly seven miles straight down into the Pacific. If ... More >>
Oneal Ron Morris, the unlicensed "doctor" arrested last year after allegedly injecting substances like caulk and fix-a-flat tire sealant into the rear end of a patient, has been arrested again. Morris turned herself into to Broward Sheriff's Deputies yesterday on new charges of practicing medicin ... More >>
Marian Searchwell may have wound up behind bars for domestic violence, but frankly it's hard to blame her for her actions. The 56-year-old resident of Vero Beach was at the home she shared with her husband of 5 months when the man showed up around 10 p.m. on a Thursday night and asked her to plea ... More >>
Last month, New Times took readers up into the air in home-built airplanes (read "Paper Planes"). This week, we're taking you underwater in submarines capable of diving thousands of feet below the ocean's surface.Our feature profiles Patrick Lahey, president of South Florida company Triton Submar ... More >>
Yesterday, jollily bearded fellow Edmund Barksdale set the AP's Poop Alert Newswire (TM) ablaze with his bizarre tale of getting Tasered while taking a dump in a Destin park. Yet he's far from the first fecal-matter felon to snag Florida headlines.If George Orwell put thoughtcrime on the map, the ... More >>
Winner of Senior Idol, Josephine Dolce.Lenny, an old guy with sparkling bling who calls himself "The Granddaddy Rapper," presented a flawless a cappella rendition of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," riding onstage atop a Rascal electric wheelchair. Marlene Jenkins only started singing six ye ... More >>
For most of us, if we even bother accepting our mother's friend request of Facebook we keep her under strict privacy control. Very few of us develop such close Facebook bonds with our mothers that we decide posting a video of our two dogs killing a pig on our pages is a good idea. Then again, ver ... More >>
via InsideTheUWhile the Hurricanes are still in the midst of finding their next head coach, the quality recruiting class former coach Randy Shannon had begun to put together is falling apart. Miami Northwestern QB Tedd Bridgewater, rated the second best dual threat quarterback in the country by R ... More >>
Chef Andrea Curto-RandazzoNow here's a gal who really knows her way around a kitchen: Chef Andrea Curto-Randazzo of Talula. She co-owns and co-cooks with husband Frank Randazzo and has been since June 2003, dishing up eclectic eats inspired by Italy, Asia and the Southwest. They labeled their sty ... More >>
Canadian companies attend America's largest food and beverage show, coming soon to Miami Beach. [GovMonitor]Miami-based Benihana restaurants to donate 100% of Fiji Water sales revenue to Best Buddies charity for month of November. [Reuters]8th annual Grace Jamaican Jerk Festival this weekend at Mark ... More >>
Von Hautman wont be left exposed and impoverished. A guy like this always finds another victim.
A downtown Miami firm allegedly helped build an $8 billion Ponzi scheme. It could have been stopped.
Charlie Crist gets a bogus hero medal for bailing out Big Sugar.
Edison Miranda looks to scramble Porras
During Miami's cocaine heyday in the Eighties, weird and interesting and scary things happened all over town all the time. Our coke map of Miami is by necessity incomplete, but even selected highlights make the point: Blow knew no neighborhood boundaries.
Exelon plans to build a new nuclear power plant. Ho-hum.
Trading with Cuba and dying in the ocean's depths
Florida's ban on gays as adoptive foster parents is medieval
Merrett Stierheim and Alex Penelas square off during Hurricane Michelle
From the issue of August 9, 2000
Ride a golf cart through the Glades. Carry a shotgun. Fire at clay pigeons. Ahhh, the life of the leisure class!
Homestead Air Force Base is a crucial natural habitat for a rare plant. But don't worry, they'll develop around it.
City Hall revives a scheme to do away with Dinner Key Anchorage, Miami's last floating village
A Cuban embezzler built it, anti-Batista guerrillas trained in it, Nicaraguan refugees lived in it, and Frank Robinson played baseball in it. Now somebody has to step to the plate and save Bobby Maduro Miami Stadium.