Venezuelan Politics

Crappy Situation: Venezuela Is Running Out Of Toilet Paper

When it comes to sanitation, Americans are spoiled. We have so much toilet paper in this country of anal-wipe abundance that we can afford to slap politicians' faces on it in protest. Not so in Venezuela, where a TP shortage currently has government officials and opposition leaders blaming each oth ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Takes Credit for First South American Pope from Beyond The Grave

Excited about the first pope from Latin America? Well, apparently you have recently deceased Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez to thank. That's according to his handpicked successor and interim president Nicolas Maduro, at least.Maduro is theorizing that Chavez went up to Heaven and made arrangements ... More >>

Hugo Chavez, Like Lenin Before Him, Will Have His Dead Body Permanently Displayed

During his political life, Hugo Chavez took more than a few pages out of the playbook of Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin, and the emulation will continue even in death.To this day, Lenin's embalmed body is still on display in Red Square in Moscow. Now, acting Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro announced ... More >>

In Honor of Hugo: Make Homemade Arepas, Venezuelan-Style

Venezuelan restaurants across Miami announced specials such as discounted arepas and one buck Miller Lites following the announcement of president Hugo Chávez's death yesterday afternoon.The end of the socialist leader's tendentious rule meant Venezuelans took to Doral with flags and Polar beers un ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Is Dead, According to Questionable CNN Chile Report

Last night, CNN's Chilean affiliate reported that Hugo Chávez is not, in fact, recovering in a Venezuelan hospital because he is dead.The report was based on the claims of Guillermo Cochez, until recently Panama's ambassador to the Organization of American States. In the hours since it was publishe ... More >>

New, Oddly Posed Photos of Hugo Chavez in the Hospital Emerge

Hugo Chavez hasn't been seen or heard from by the public since December 10, right before he underwent surgery in Havana, Cuba. Now, new pictures of the Venezuelan president have emerged, and they're pretty oddly staged.

Hugo Chavez Considering Asylum Request From Syrian Strongman Bashar al-Assad, Report Says

If you're a hated, blood-soaked Middle Eastern tyrant whose nation has been ripped asunder by a devastating civil war that's about to topple you from power, where on Earth do you flee?In the case of Syria's Bashar Al-Assad, the answer might just be Venezuela, where Hugo Chavez has remained a steadfa ... More >>

Chavez Endorsement, Che Picture Flap Used Against Obama In New Spanish Ads

In the desperate fight to snag Hispanic voters in Miami-Dade -- a battle that could easily swing Florida, and thus the presidency -- Romney's campaign has decided to pull out the oldest trick in the GOP handbook: Tying Obama to Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Che Guevara.It's ridiculous, of course, bu ... More >>

Fidel Castro Supposedly Releases Letter to Downplay Rumors He Had a Brain Aneurysm

ABC, one of Spain's largest newspapers, ran a story earlier today claiming that Fidel Castro had suffered a massive brain aneurysm and is slowly dying. Their source: a doctor who lives in Naples, Florida. The Cuban Government apparently decided to combat the rumors by releasing a letter today c ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Wins Reelection With 54 Percent

In an election held more than a thousand miles away, but one that will hit home for thousands of locals, Hugo Chavez has won reelection with 54 percent of the vote in today's presidential election in Venezuela. The controversial Chavez has been in power for 13 years, and will rule for another s ... More >>

Hugo Chavez: "I Would Vote For Obama"

While Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is just days away from what might be the toughest election of his career, he's decided to lend some very much unwelcome support to another presidential campaign.Yes, the controversial Venezuelan leader has all but officially endorsed Barack Obama. Uh, well, at ... More >>

Fidel Castro Is Not Senile, Still "Working Hard," His Son Says

Nary a single "crush the American oligarchy!" has been heard from Fidel Castro since June, when el jefe's regular columns began devolving into the kind of bizarre, haiku-like rants found only in assisted living facility newsletters or Dadaist art collectives.But any fears that the Bearded One has go ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Plans His Own Disney World: A Libertador Theme Park

Do you love Disney World, but wish Mickey and Minnie were a little heavier on the socialism? Why can't Space Mountain also educate kids about the glories of Simon Bolivar's revolution? Don't worry: Hugo Chavez is on the case.The Venezuelan president announced plans this week to turn the site of a ke ... More >>

Eligio Cedeño Slams Hugo Chávez's Bid to Join UN Human Rights Council

Read the incredible story of how Eligio Cedeño cheated death and Chávez's security forces to flee Venezuela and start a second life in Miami.Eligio Cedeño finally got his day in court -- or as close to it as he can get while Hugo Chávez is still alive. The Venezuelan banker was imprisoned for th ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Bans Guns, Gives Away A House On Twitter, Might Be On Heavy Duty Morphine

Hugo Chavez had himself the kind of action-packed weekend fit only for a Bolivarian strongman. First, he banned all private gun sales in Venezuela -- limiting hand guns to just police and military forces -- in a move he says will help stem the wave of violent crime in his country. Then, he turned ar ... More >>

Is Hugo Chavez Setting Up a Military Junta In Case He Dies of Cancer?

Hugo Chavez may have quelled rumors last week that he was near death by appearing on TV looking relatively robust, but some recent political moves have left many in Caracas wondering if he's going to make it to the presidential elections -- and even more alarmingly, what will happen to Venezuela if ... More >>

Fidel Castro May Have Photobombed His Way Onto Colombia's 1,000 Peso Bill

There's no denying that the guy behind the Mariel Boatlift and the Cuban Missile Crisis can cook up a damned devious trick when he wants to. But did Fidel Castro really photobomb the Colombian 1,000 peso bill?Colombia has been rumbling this week with the conspiracy theory that a young Castro's face ... More >>

Annual Study: Cuba Has the Worst Press Freedom in the Americas

​The annual Reporters Without Borders Press Freedom Index is out, and Cuba continues to have the least freedom of the press in our part of the globe. No other country in the Americas even comes close to Cuba's lowly ranking. Meanwhile, the United States fell 27 places in the rankings in a worrisom ... More >>

Castro, Chavez Make Top Ten List of World's Worst Dictators

​We just usually read Parade magazine for Howard Huge cartoons and "Ask Marilyn," but the magazine actually keeps a somewhat frequently updated list of the world's worst dictators. For the first time this year, Raúl Castro and Hugo Chávez made the top ten list.

Hugo Chavez Thinks The U.S. Secretly Gave Him And Other Latin Leaders Cancer

​Hugo Chavez has struggled through cancer over the past year, losing his hair, gaining weight and traveling repeatedly to Cuba for surgeries. Chavez has never said precisely what stage of the disease he has, but on Wednesday the Venezuelan president suggested that he knew the source: A secret U.S. ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Says His Navy Chased Off a Mysterious Submarine Engaged in "Espionage"

Hugo Chavez suspects that The Empire is watching him...​Hugo Chavez is no stranger to conspiracy theories. Shortly after a January 12, 2010 earthquake destroyed much of Haiti, one of his spokesmen claimed the disaster was the result of the United States testing a secret weapon ultimately intended ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Releases Exercise Video

​It's the hottest aerobics video starring a communist-sympathizer since The Jane Fonda Workout.It's the craze sweeping hoards of South Americans looking to drop a few kilograms in time for summer.It's the latest sign that Venezuela's president is further sinking into some sort of out-of-touch Kim ... More >>

LeBron James Alive, At U2 Concert

Maverick CarterThe Edge has perfected a more subtle way of hiding his hairline than the LeBron Headband.​Good news, Miami! LeBron James has not fled the country, nor does he appear to be too depressed for a few photos with some fellow squagillionaires. Apparently inspired by Venezuelan President H ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Needs To Hurry Up And Heal

One of these men is a crazed, dangerous narcissist. The other is -- oh, you know the joke.​It's been almost two weeks since Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has made a public appearance. The 56-year-old leader, a television regular since he took power in 1999, hasn't been heard from publicly sinc ... More >>

Los Amigos Invisibles at Grand Central June 11

Hugo Chávez Cured by Evo Morales and His "Magic Plant"

Fit as a fiddle thanks to Evo's "magic plant"​Oprah may have taped her last show yesterday, but we've still got another plump drama queen -- perhaps for decades to come. With the Big O saying goodbye, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez is now the western hemisphere's premier entertainer. And injuri ... More >>

Hugo Chávez Calls Cuban Reforms 'Refreshing'

walksydneystreets.netRefreshing! Like Cuba's economic reforms​Over the past decade, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez has become the Cuban government's number one supporter. His oil subsidies help keep the embargoed island afloat and, in return, he welcomes Cuban doctors to Caracas's poor, inner-c ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Rallies Against Boob Jobs

​Move over, America. Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has found a new evil to target: boob jobs. He might actually have a point, for once. Venezuela has become one of the biggest markets in the world for breast augmentation, and the plastic surgery trend has become so severe that often women who ... More >>

Carlos Andres Perez Would Have Made a Better Venezuela

​So the last sane president of Venezuela died in Miami Saturday. Carlos Andres Perez was the probably the first Latin president to flex his muscles over oil, thus setting the stage for his one-time nemesis, the half wit Hugo Chavez, to take power. I interviewed Cap -- who was 88 at the time o ... More >>

Hugo Chávez Annouces Another Run for President, Accuses Globovisión Boss Guillermo Zuloaga of $100 Million Plot to Kill Him

Hugo could be in office long after we are all dead...​Brace yourself. This news is as newsy and shocking as it gets: Hugo Chávez is running for president... again.The Venezuelan comandante has been in office for 12 years and has said he plans to stay there -- elections willing -- for another deca ... More >>

In Chavez's Crime-Torn Venezuela, No More Front-Page Photos of Bullet-Riddled Corpses

One opposition paper reacted to the ban with a front-page "Censored" photo.​Last year, more than 16,000 Venezuelans were felled by bullets, bombs, knives and other violent instruments of crime -- but don't look for their grisly death photos on the front pages in Caracas. A Venezuelan court yesterd ... More >>

Latin American politicians say the craziest things

Hugo Chavez Doubts Whether 9/11 or Moon Landing Ever Happened

​Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez hit new levels of ego-infused insanity last month when he had the bones of South American hero Simon Bolivar dug up to prove some weird conspiracy theory, and then live tweeted about crying over the remains. Inspired by the insanity, Christopher Hitchens ... More >>

Free From Spain, But Not Chávez

Hugo Chavez Accuses "Gringo Government" of Harboring Luis Posada Carriles

Chavez's Twitter Icon​Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is picking a fight with America in the most mature of way: Tweets complete with derogatory slang and swears. Such a refined statesman that Chavez is."The gringo government accuses us of anything and everything, but today marks 5 years since th ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Accuses U.S. Plane of "Electronic Warfare," Hints at Aggression with Colombia

​Venezuela and Colombia are starting to become the Ned Flandars and Homer Simpson of Latin America: two neighbors with very different world views that are really starting to hate each other.Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez has even implied that if Juan Manuel Santos, the chosen successor of curre ... More >>

Hugo Chavez is in a Silent Cat Fight with Miss Universe

​Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez loves celebrities. He was Oliver Stone's date to the Venice International Film Festival, could probably convince Sean Penn to agree to be held captive and perform a stage rendition of his parts in Simple Jack I Am Sam, and is perhaps the only known person on the p ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Stinks, but Rafael Correa...Not

Today's Hugo Chavez's tenth anniverary in power. He's messed with everybody's brains since taking the oath of office -- and he has brought a voice to a lotta poor Venezuelans, many of whom have come to Miami. But this caudillo ain't slick. He's lucky. Oil revenues have soared to the point where he's ... More >>

Weekly News Wrap - Chavez, Imus, Iran, the CIA and more

Patricia Poleo: Fugitive, or Mercenary?

Through a Lens Distortedly

A new documentary about Hugo Chavez plays it fast and loose

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