U.S. Secret Service

Olympus Has Fallen Is Ridiculously Entertaining

Brad Meltzer's "The Fifth Assassin"

Brad Meltzer, Miami Author and TV Host, Releases Assassination-Themed Novel Just In Time For Inauguration Week

For two years, a slight, balding man in Miami has hunched over his desk, making dozens of calls a day peppered with phrases custom-built to perk up Secret Service ears: "assassination," "president," "John Wilkes Booth." This week, just days before Obama is sworn in for his second term, his fiendish ... More >>

That Drunk Secret Service Agent Who Passed Out In Brickell Won't Be Prosecuted

When Barack Obama visited the University of Miami a few weeks before the big presidential election, one of the agents in his Secret Service detail decided to go a little buck wild in Brickell. In fact, that agent, Aaron Francis Engler, had so much fun he passed out drunk on the corner of Brickell Av ... More >>

The Dwarves at Churchill's Pub October 27

Secret Service Agent Arrested After Passing Out Drunk on Brickell Avenue

Barack Obama may have left shortly after his address at the University of Miami yesterday, but not all of his Secret Service agents jetted off with him.Miami Police found one of those agents, Aaron Francis Engler, passed out drunk this morning along Brickell Avenue and 7th Street.

Kanye Quits Twitter! Blame Kim Kardashian and These Five Other Possible Censors

Guys ... Kanye is acting really weird. In a totally uncharacteristic move, the mouthiest, most self-righteous rapper breathing deleted all his genius tweets, with basically no warning or explanation. How could he do such a thing? Like, we're gonna let you finish ... But Kanye West is the best twe ... More >>

OMG! Obama Stops For a Cheeseburger In South Miami

When OMG! Burgers in South Miami got a call yesterday afternoon, employees thought it was a random late afternoon order.Instead, it turned out to be the U.S. Secret Service with notification that the President would be arriving in 15 minutes for lunch.

Obama-Hugging Florida Pizza Maker Facing Boycott, Yelp Abuse

Scott Van Duzer made headlines around the world on Sunday when he lifted President Obama off the ground in a back-cracking bear hug that amazingly didn't result in a swift Tasering by Secret Service agents.The hug has resulted in Van Duzer's business becoming the most politically debated pizza shop ... More >>

Florida Cop Takes to Facebook During Obama Speech and Wonders "Where's Lee Harvey Oswald?"

The Secret Service takes threats on the life of the president pretty seriously. That's kind of their main job. So don't be surprised when you casually mention the assassination of the president on Facebook and then find them knocking on your door. That's what happened to one Florida woman, who proba ... More >>

President Obama Was Nearly Crushed By A Power-Benching Florida Pizza Shop Owner

In an early contender for the campaign trail photo of the year, a power-lifting pizza shop owner in Fort Pierce nearly pulverized President Obama's ribs yesterday when he stopped in during his bus tour of the Sunshine State. Did we mention the owner is a Republican? Amazingly, the Secret Service did ... More >>

Miami Musician Who Threatened to Kill Obama Avoids Jail Time

Joaquin Amador Serrapio Jr., the 20-year-old local musician who fantasized on social media about killing Barack Obama, will avoid jail time after his threats caught the attention of the Secret Service. Instead, Serrapio will face home confinement, probation, and community service. He'll also be forc ... More >>

Mitt Romney's Stumping In Miami at Eatery Owned By Convicted Coke Smuggler

Today, Mitt Romney is foregoing a Miami political campaign tradition by skipping over Versailles restaurant in Little Havana. Instead, Mittens will be hobnobbing with a convicted cocaine smuggler. The Republican presidential candidate is holding an afternoon rally at Palacios de los Jugos at 7085 Co ... More >>

Teen Mom Farrah Abraham's Debut Single and Five Other Reality Stars Butchering Pop Music

In the make-believe world of reality television, anything is possible ... So long as it's marketable. Take Teen Mom starlet Farrah Abraham, the 21-year-old aspiring chef-turned-model-turned-author who snuck into America's collective heart with her charming smile and piercing gaze, who's looking to ... More >>

Celebrando la Independencia de Colombia at La Covacha July 7

Marco Rubio Receives "Credible" Threats, Police Watch Miami House and D.C. Office

Marco Rubio at the moment is trapped in that strange limbo -- let's call it the Biden Zone -- where half of America assumes he's going to be a vice presidential nominee but nothing is official yet. That means despite daily national press and a starring role this week sharing a stage with the GOP's n ... More >>

Hillary Clinton Parties at Cuban-Themed Bar, Sparks Dumbest Scandal Ever

Forget about the Secret Service agents and their Colombian hookers. Ozzie Guillen praising Fidel Castro? Old news. The raging hot scandal this morning, according more than 100 articles on Google News at last count, is that Hillary Clinton spent last night in Cartagena dancing and drinking beer at a ... More >>

Joaquin Serrapio, Miami Man Who Threatened to Kill Obama, Loves Ron Paul, Racism and Journey Covers

​Joaquin Amador Serrapio Jr., the Miami man arrested for making online threats to kill President Barack Obama while he spoke at the University of Miami last week, has a large internet footprint. Serrapio went by the stage name of "Jay Valor" online, and fronted a local bar band known as the Jay Va ... More >>

Florida Rep. Richard Steinberg Sexted "Sexxxy Mama" Notes to Married Prosecutor

​Richard Steinberg apparently learned very little from Anthony Weiner's downfall. Steinberg, a Democratic member of the Florida House from Miami Beach, has admitted this morning to sending a number of "inappropriate" text messages to a married female prosecutor, starting with this cringeworthy ope ... More >>

Four Arrested for Skimming $1.5 Million From ATMs in Miami, Chicago, and New York

​The Department of Justice has indicted four foreign nationals for stealing more than $1.5 million from bank accounts by using "skimming" technology to help themselves to the bank accounts of customers who used ATMs in Miami, Chicago, and New York City. Mihail Dragici and Ionel Dedlescu, both ... More >>

Truth Is in the Detail

The Elusive Furious Dudes Caught On Video at the Vagabond's Rockers vs. Bros

In addition to music and videos, the Dudes also make sleeveless tees.​Fair to say that Miami isn't known for its rock music, right? Not that we aren't the home of some of the hardest bands ever, like Cavity, Floor, the Eat, Load, and Secret Service. These are bands that stood head and shoulder ... More >>

Crazy Night At Miami Beach Hotel: Shooting, Hazmat Teams, And An Evacuated Prime Minister

A real-life episode of Burn Notice essentially played out this weekend at a Miami Beach hotel, complete with a mysterious shooting death, a hastily evacuated foreign head of state, a deathly bad odor and a Hazmat team.It's not clear whether Bruce Campbell was involved -- but frankly, we're not ready ... More >>

Hack Pack

The biggest identity theft case ever. Right here in Miami.

Clinton's Global Initiative: No Security Is Good Security

Photo by Karina ChavarriaFormer President Bill Clinton at the Global Initiative Univeristy at BankUnited Center.At an event where a former U.S. president is present, you'd expect to be patted down, have your bags ripped open, and then maybe be carted away by the Secret Service because you forgot to ... More >>

Mary J. Blige Brought Diva Drama to Jazz in the Gardens?

​Oh, Mary J. Blige, how we believed you when you told us you were "So tired. Tired of all this drama." But now sources are telling the New York Daily News that you brought your drama A game to this past weekend's Jazz in the Gardens festival at Sun Life Stadium, and we're not sure who to beli ... More >>

Miami Beach Mayoral Candidate Involved in Heated Fax Machine Standoff With Secret Service

​When you're a political underdog with just a few days before an election to drum up enough support and overcome odds to win, you might resort to some outlandish tactics. Some go on Saturday Night Live and make fun of themselves. Others pull out shameless attacks on their opponents. Miami Bea ... More >>

Go Shawty, It's Your Birfday

Bill Clinton Charms the Fontainebleau

As easy as he is to mock with decades-old jokes, we've got to hand it to Bill Clinton -- the dude can warm a room like Wayne Newton on crystal meth.  Not that last night's Fontainebleau crowd was a hostile audience. About 300 of Miami's glitterati -- among them sunglass mogul and philanthropist Sa ... More >>

Boobs, tunes, and soul food: Bubba Clinton's guide to Miami

Ah, the life of an ex-president. When the wife isn't unleashing you like an aging attack froodle on this or that Junior Senator in pursuit of her master plan, it's actually pretty serene. Flying to and fro in private jets; staying in the world's finest hotels in every locale; getting paid $100,000 t ... More >>

Why Can't Barack Obama Speak English?

Um, because that's not him.

Faux-bama: Channel 41's Doppelganger Sensation

Michael the Black Man Trashes Obama

A former cult member crashed the UM rally.

The Truth Won't Set You Free

Multiperspective, mega-annoying Vantage Point.

Map of the Universe

Curse in Reverse (Spy-Fi/Sound Nutrition Records)

Storming the House

The real story behind that wacky run at George W.

BEST LOCAL BAND TO BREAK UP IN THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS

Secret Service

BEST SPANISH-LANGUAGE RADIO PERSONALITY

Elba la Fumadora (The Pot Smoker)

Closing Credits: "Dutch"

High as the Sky with Noelle & Drunk as a Punk with Nayib

The governor's daughter and the Estefans' son weren't exactly model students at Gulliver, but they had some serious fun -- and so did I

This Week's Day by Day Picks

Letters to the Editor

From the issue of September 20, 2001

Life in the Secret Service

For Patrick Cruise it was a life of hounding, harassment, and humiliation

The Good, the Bad, and the Elderly

Henry & Tom's Excellent Adventure

Swelter 40

Swelter

Cross Hair Apparent

Meditations on the L-Word

Janet, Donna, Hillary, and Me