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Blogs
May 25, 2012
Food Stamps Traded for Drugs and Cash, Welcome Crackdown Coming
Florida is notorious for Medicare fraud, and we also have more than our fair share of food stamp fraud. At least Miami residents can console themselves with the fact that our food stamp defrauders are not as shameless as those in other states.EBT cards, modern-day food stamps, are being traded for c ... More >>
News
April 26, 2012
South Florida Survivalists Prepare for the Apocalypse
Florida is notorious for Medicare fraud, and we also have more than our fair share of food stamp fraud. At least Miami residents can console themselves with the fact that our food stamp defrauders are not as shameless as those in other states.EBT cards, modern-day food stamps, are being traded for c ... More >>
Blogs
April 3, 2012
Florida Woman Offers Sex in Exchange for Two McDonald's Dollar Menu Cheeseburgers
We're not sure that sex with a prostitute whose fee is two cheeseburgers would actually be worth it. In fact, maybe just eating the cheeseburgers ourselves would be a better use of our resources. How good could it be for two cheap burgers? We'll never know though, because the cheeseburger bugger is ... More >>
News
December 15, 2011
Insiders use the college bowl system to loot American universities
We're not sure that sex with a prostitute whose fee is two cheeseburgers would actually be worth it. In fact, maybe just eating the cheeseburgers ourselves would be a better use of our resources. How good could it be for two cheap burgers? We'll never know though, because the cheeseburger bugger is ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Hugo Chavez Ships Mountains of Gold to Caracas as Panic Runs on Toilet Paper Begin
Hugo Chavez has a new plan to save Venezuela's teetering national economy and it's, uh, shipping giant mountains of gold into Venezuela amid a procession of tanks so he can end the "dictatorship of the U.S. dollar" and possibly "offer President Obama a loan."So how did his grateful people react? ... More >>
News
September 1, 2011
Eligio Cedeño: A banker battles Hugo Chavez
Hugo Chavez has a new plan to save Venezuela's teetering national economy and it's, uh, shipping giant mountains of gold into Venezuela amid a procession of tanks so he can end the "dictatorship of the U.S. dollar" and possibly "offer President Obama a loan."So how did his grateful people react? ... More >>
Blogs
April 20, 2011
Murder of Two British Men in Sarasota Isn't the Best Tourism Ad for Florida
James Cooper and James Kouzaris were found dead in a public housing project near Sarasota.Residents of "Knifecrime Island" might become increasingly wary of traveling to the "Gunshine State." The brutal murder of two British tourists in Sarasota has shocked the United Kingdom, and now the country ... More >>
Music
March 17, 2011
Ultimate Ultra Music Festival Survival Kit
James Cooper and James Kouzaris were found dead in a public housing project near Sarasota.Residents of "Knifecrime Island" might become increasingly wary of traveling to the "Gunshine State." The brutal murder of two British tourists in Sarasota has shocked the United Kingdom, and now the country ... More >>
Blogs
March 14, 2011
The Ultimate Ultra Survival Kit: Five Essential Items for the Superprepared Raver
Photo by Ian WitlenCandy ravers, not candy stripers: These girls can't help you.There's this shared fantasy among neo-hippies, blissed-out druggies, and naïve first-time festival-goers that three-day music extravaganzas like Ultra Music Festival are all about fun and friendship. But here's the ... More >>
Blogs
August 25, 2010
What We Learned From Frederica Wilson: People Love Silly Hats
Frederica Wilson and her hats won big last night.Prediction: Next election, silly hats are in. Rival school board candidates will rock diamond-plated mitres and Budweiser-stocked beer helmets. Marco Rubio will demolish Charlie Crist after finding a totally sweet plaid Tam O'Shanter at a garage sale ... More >>
Blogs
August 25, 2010
Doug Giles' Anti-Muslim Rant Comes Complete With Singing Skunk Puppet
Remember Doug Giles? He's the father of "ACORN ho" Hannah Giles, an aspiring conservative talking head, and senior pastor of Aventura's Clash Church. Giles has always been unhinged, but his latest video is a bigoted, ignorant hate fest that attacks Muslims and undermines America's freedom of rel ... More >>
Blogs
August 20, 2010
Former County Employee Arrested for Child Porn
In today's roundup of the sins of South Florida: A former county employee faces 20 charges of child pornography, a man is killed after a fight at a South Beach club, a veteran security guard is mysteriously found dead behind a dollar store in Southwest Dade, two men are arrested for a fire exting ... More >>
News
July 29, 2010
ILLEGAL from Terry Greene Sterling
Read a penetrating chapter from former Phoenix New Times investigative reporter Terry Greene Sterling's book: ILLEGAL: Life and Death in Arizona's Immigration War Zone.
Blogs
June 1, 2010
Nightlife Review: Club Play Memorial Day Weekend 2010 Party with Amber Rose, Mario, Cassie, and More, May 28
Headliner Market Group's Memorial Day Weekend 2010 PartyHosted by Amber Rose, Allen Iverson, Mario, and CassieWith Music by DJ Clue and Stevie J. Club Play, Miami BeachFriday, May 28, 2010Better Than: Staying at home based on stereotypes about Memorial Day Weekend in South Beach. First ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2010
Dwyane Wade Settles Lawsuits But Will Continue to Battle Baron Nemesis
Jacob KatelMiami Heat demigod Dwyane Wade's life got a bit simpler today when he settled a series of lawsuits with former business partners. The dollar amount of the settlement to the suits, which stem from a thwarted chain of restaurants and a charter school bearing his name, is confidential ... More >>
Blogs
May 13, 2010
Does Indulge Wednesdays at Whiskey Blue Attract the Gays?
Courtesy of Whiskey BlueThis photo, which was taken by a professional and not at this event, fits tonight because Whiskey Blue was almost this empty New Times Broward-Palm Beach Calendar Editor Mickie Centrone has the enviable job of knowing about every event that happens within the boundaries of ... More >>
News
April 29, 2010
Letters from the issue of April 29, 2010
Courtesy of Whiskey BlueThis photo, which was taken by a professional and not at this event, fits tonight because Whiskey Blue was almost this empty New Times Broward-Palm Beach Calendar Editor Mickie Centrone has the enviable job of knowing about every event that happens within the boundaries of ... More >>
News
February 4, 2010
Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida
Courtesy of Whiskey BlueThis photo, which was taken by a professional and not at this event, fits tonight because Whiskey Blue was almost this empty New Times Broward-Palm Beach Calendar Editor Mickie Centrone has the enviable job of knowing about every event that happens within the boundaries of ... More >>
News
January 21, 2010
Dalia Dippolito might have tried to kill her husband, but he was no saintly victim
Courtesy of Whiskey BlueThis photo, which was taken by a professional and not at this event, fits tonight because Whiskey Blue was almost this empty New Times Broward-Palm Beach Calendar Editor Mickie Centrone has the enviable job of knowing about every event that happens within the boundaries of ... More >>
Blogs
January 21, 2010
Super Bowl Strip Club Debauchery: Disco Rick Teaches You How to Politely Make it Rain
He's mellowed a lot.Not sure if you heard, but the Super Bowl's coming to Miami. Since the Dolphins didn't make it, we care nothing about the on-field contest. Far more intriguing is the galaxy of debauchery that will be descending on our innocent city for the big weekend -- including almos ... More >>
Blogs
November 12, 2009
Ten New Video Games for Foodies
We all know someone who likes to play with his or her food, so why not give that epicurean enthusiast in your life a little fun this holiday season? Lots of new games are either already out on shelves or will be released in time for the holidays, so drop that turkey and get to the stores! Or just st ... More >>
News
October 29, 2009
President Obama fails to go after those responsible for the financial meltdown
We all know someone who likes to play with his or her food, so why not give that epicurean enthusiast in your life a little fun this holiday season? Lots of new games are either already out on shelves or will be released in time for the holidays, so drop that turkey and get to the stores! Or just st ... More >>
News
November 14, 2002
M.O.B. (money over bitches)
Thug life ain't no good life, but it's my life.
News
September 9, 1999
Con Kid
Jimmy Sabatino, self-described child of the Mafia, displayed a prodigious talent for confidence games even as a teenager. If he hadn't threatened to kill President Clinton, he'd probably be scamming today.

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