U.S. Department of Agriculture

U.S. Government Spends Your Tax Dollars Advertising Food Stamps In Mexico

The Daily Caller this morning reports that the U.S. government has been spending money advertising our food stamp program in other countries. "Contrary to sound policy, the United States is spending money advertising food stamp benefits in foreign consulates," states a Thursday evening press releas ... More >>

New York, Listen Up: Top Five "Healthy" Sodas, From Cola to Lychee

In light of the New York ban and ensuing bruhaha, we must admit: there is no such thing as a completely healthy soda. But there are much healthier alternatives than those BPA-laden cans full of phosphate fizzies pumped full of high fructose corn syrup and caramel coloring.The ingredients in regular ... More >>

Estiatorio Milos: Exquisite Greek Seafood for Eye-Poppingly High Checks

Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear Your Fourth of July Host Say

Fourth of July gatherings are like any other gatherings: Some are a lot better than others. Thing is, by the time you discover the picnic you've attended is a dud, it's too late.Sometimes, however, you might overhear a key phrase uttered by the host that will signal looming trouble early on in the p ... More >>

Food Stamp Parties? US Government Encourages Seniors To Attend.

In a shining example of government idiocy, the USDA is actually encouraging people to apply for food stamps.The government agency has an active program to lure more Americans into applying for food stamps, specifically targeting senior citizens. This program costs the USDA between $2.5 and $3 millio ... More >>

New Dirty Dozen: Apples, Celery Most Pesticide-Contaminated. Mushrooms Okay.

Lettuce samples contained 78 different pesticide residues. Domestic blueberries tested positive for 42 pesticides. And 98 percent of apples were found to be contaminated by pesticides. And 92 percent of certain baby foods were pesticide-tainted. (These levels were measured in "conventional," or non- ... More >>

Local Fruit: The Secret Ingredient For a Perfect Batido

All photos by Emily CodikI've had my share of batidos. Growing up in the Dominican Republic, my mother would always whip up thick shakes with produce from her favorite street-side fruit carts. She'd add the fruit, milk and ice to a blender and serve a simple, yet delicious, batido. The chilled drink ... More >>

Jeff McInnis Talks Breasts and Legs, Of Chicken, That Is

​​I used to judge diners as unadventurous when they ordered chicken at a restaurant. It always felt like the safe option, ubiquitous even at dinner parties. But things have changed and chicken has earned itself a renewed reputation.This respect is evident with the dishes of Jeff McInnis, the Jam ... More >>

74. Kobe Burger at CG Burgers

It's that time of year again when we count down to New Times' Best of Miami 2012 issue in June. Until then, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com74. Kobe Burger at CG BurgersIn our curre ... More >>

McDonald's Will No Longer Use Pink Slime in Its Burgers. Wait ... Say What? (Video)

McDonald's has declared that it will no longer use "pink slime" in the manufacturing of its food products, ABC News reported yesterday.Much like you're probably doing right now, when I first heard the news I asked myself, What the hell is pink slime?And much like most Americans, I had no clue about ... More >>

School Lunch: French Fries Still a Vegetable, But New Rules Are Better

​Yesterday, First Lady Michelle Obama ate a cafeteria lunch at a local D.C. area elementary school as a sign of support (and photo op) to mark the new USDA nutritional standards for public school lunches. These rules, which must be implemented by July, 2012, aren't perfect (French fries are still ... More >>

Four Ideas For New Nutrition Labels, From Stars to Traffic Lights

​"The grocery store has become a Tower of Babel," said Louis Sullivan back in 1990. "Consumers need to be linguists, scientists, and mind readers to understand the many labels they see."Sullivan at the time was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, and he instructed the FDA to ... More >>

Horse Slaughter Legal Once Again in U.S., Maybe Even in Florida

Woah, Nelly. Horse slaughter is once again legal thanks to Congress.Florida currently has some of the toughest laws against horse slaughter in the nation, but activists disagree over whether the practice could soon be booming in the Sunshine State."If someone were to open a licensed slaughter house ... More >>

Warning: "Natural" Breakfast Cereal May Be Hazardous To Your Health

​​​​Kashi's GoLean cereal (made by Kellogg's) contains 100 percent genetically engineered soybeans. Whole Foods Market's 365 Corn Flakes is made from 57 percent GMO corn; in Barbara's Bakery's Puffins the GMO corn content is 55 percent.USDA testing has found residues of organophosphate pesti ... More >>

Destructive Giant African Land Snails on the Loose in Miami

​Giant African land snails have invaded Miami-Dade county, according to the state Department of Agriculture. The snails are one of the largest species in the world and have nasty habits like eating almost any type of plant in their path, causing destruction to homes, and making humans sick. To ... More >>

Mauret Curbelo, Hialeah Butcher, Proves That Even Petty Crime Is F***ing Terrifying in Miami

wikimedia commonsNow you can start your own illegal Hialeah slaughterhouse!​What is it about Miami that makes the mundane seem so... menacing?Take the case of Mauret Curbelo, the manager of Danilo Ranch, where Hialeah peters out into the Everglades. Last year, the United States Department of Agric ... More >>

Sad, Unsurprising News of the Week: Homestead Farms Screwing Bean Pickers

USDABlood Beans: Do you know how your veggies are harvested?​Not content to pay their employees minimum wage, ten Homestead farms and contractors have been screwing their bean pickers -- actual job description, not an ethnic slur -- out of even that measly pay to the tune of nearly $700,000.As if ... More >>

Miami Food Pyramid Stresses Pork Fat and Vodka -- and Some Real Data Too

Courtesy choosemyplate.gov​Last week marked the official retirement of the oft-avoided USDA Food Pyramid that has been haunting sugar and grease-loving Americans since 1992.The new symbol for portion-control divides a plate into sections based on rough estimates of how much protein, dairy, fr ... More >>

Peter Vauthy of Red The Steakhouse and the Biggest Halibut You Have Ever Seen

Chef Peter Vauthy: Class is now in session.​Peruse the menu at any fine restaurant in Miami and you're sure to find a lot of bragging about the pedigrees of the various ingredients of the dish you're about to eat. With phrases like Prime, USDA Certified Angus, wild-caught, sometimes you're n ... More >>

State Senator Tells Fat Cartoon Baby to Lose Some Weight

​Florida's baby population is under so much pressure to maintain the ideal body image. Pictures of svelte and chic looking babies in slim fitting designer diapers bombard them from all corners of the media, but sometimes a baby just wants to see positive depictions of realistic and attainable baby ... More >>

Revealed: USDA Plot To Kill Americans With Cheese!

"Domino's Pizza was hurting early last year. Domestic sales had fallen, and a survey of big pizza chain customers left the company tied for the worst tasting pies. Then help arrived from an organization called Dairy Management. It teamed up with Domino's to develop a new line of pizzas with 40 perce ... More >>

100 Favorite Dishes: Filet Mignon at Red The Steakhouse

Lee Klein​As a countdown to New Times' "Best of Miami" 2010, Short Order is serving up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305. Send your nominations to cafe@miaminewtimes.com.

New Times Finalist for Three Association of Food Journalist Awards

Photo by C. StilesThese pigs unfortunately couldn't Babe their way out of their fate.​The finalists for the Association of Food Journalists Awards were revealed yesterday, and the Miami New Times was nominated for three awards, more than any other alternative weekly in the country.Staff writer Gus ... More >>

Weak New Standards For Food In Schools

Photo by Lee KleinThey say the $4.5 billion dollars spent will yield a leaner hamburger​The U.S. Senate Agriculture Committee approved legislation on Wednesday that would allow the Agriculture Department to create new standards for all foods in schools, including vending machines. This translates ... More >>

New Allen Brothers Catalogue Is Out

Baseball strip steak, potatoes not included.The fall 2009 Allen Brothers catalogue has just been released. For those not familiar with the mail-order meat company, Allen Brothers has been America's leading source of USDA Prime beef since 1893. The company has also been one of the main sponsors of th ... More >>

Farm Share, Food Charity, Faces Closure Due To County Budget Axe

image via farmshare.orgDon't take food out of their mouths.​What happens when a government starves its people? Dade County will find out the hard way if it axes Farm Share from its budget as proposals suggest.Farm Share is a 501(c)(3) non profit organization that provides food directly to at least ... More >>

Mr. Clucky and Other Animals in the News

When the heat hits and news slows to a crawl, it's time for an animal controversy.

Mr. Clucky Has a Slow-News Summer to Thank for His Notoriety

If this were January, he'd be just another unkown evicted rooster.​If you've turned on the TV news or glanced at the front page of the Miami Herald in the past week, you're familiar with the plight of South Beach's most famous cock. Newsrooms across South Florida have been stricken with ... More >>

The USDA Lies

Most people believe that a "naturally raised" label implies animals have access to sunshine, fresh air, freedom of movement and the ability to perform, um, you know, natural behaviors. Yet the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) recently allowed companies to slap a "naturally raised" labe ... More >>

Pork Pirates

They'll slaughter your dinner as you watch — but don't tell the cops.

On the Hunt for Illegal Slaughter in Northwest Dade

Take a drive through West Miami-Dade -- anywhere from as far south as Kendall to beyond the northern borders of the county -- and you'll see the signs everywhere. Se Venden Puercos. Venden Animales. Animals for Sale. Guess what? The farmers inside ain't selling their pigs alive. But they certainly d ... More >>

Food Stamp Nation - Florida Leads The Pack

The Miami Herald reports that "In the last two years, the number of Floridians on food stamps has increased more than 40 percent to 1.7 million. That increase is the highest in the nation, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture."The numbers read like this, 356,000 food stamp recipients liv ... More >>

New Yard, New Grill

More Exotic than Your Average Kiwi

Learn the secret language of succulents at the Rare Fruit Conference.

Eat Shit and Die

Exactly what do chickens and cows eat before we eat them?

Fast-Food Children

Making school lunches healthy is an uphill battle

Another Prime Spot

Letters from the Issue of March 3, 2005

Dance music, Stevie Wonder, pot-smoking teens, and Leona Helmsley

BEST STEAK HOUSE

Prime One Twelve

Gourd Times

Fun with pumpkins and ponies

A-Hunting They Will Go

The rabbit and vulture problem at MIA hits its Malthusian limit

BEST GOURMET GROCERY

Norman Brothers Produce

Something Rotten

Trainloads of food go to waste while thousands of kids go unfed, courtesy of the school lunch program

Anatomy of a Quarantine

State officials are spending millions of your tax dollars to stop citrus canker. And they're making a mess of it.

Getting Wasted at 35,000 Feet

Airlines that service Miami International Airport throw away up to 600 uneaten meals every day

Letters

Get Back, JoJo

Will JoJo the bear leave his home in Davie for some Oregon grass?

Fore!

If the USDA's downsizing program kills off the historic Subtropical Research Station in South Dade, it wouldn't be a total loss

Stinky, Crunchy, Paint-Eating Hermaphrodites

The USDA stopped the importation of giant African snails to Florida, but there were a couple left behind...