U.S. Congress

Marco Rubio Selling Water Bottles... For Real!

Look, ya gotta hand it to Marco Rubio. The young, conservative senator from Florida choked -- literally and figuratively -- while on national live television during the Republican response to the State of the Union address.The senator appeared sweaty and flustered before reaching for a bottle of wat ... More >>

E-Cigarettes: Danger or Healthy Alternative?

Obama Might Have Been the First Democrat to Win Florida's Cuban Vote

For decades Cuban-Americans have been one of the Republican party's most reliable bases in Florida. Well, maybe not anymore. Some exit poll analysis suggests that Barack Obama actually outperformed Mitt Romney among Cubans in Florida. While others don't show him quite pulling off that historic demog ... More >>

Puerto Rican Referendum: 65 Percent of Voters Choose U.S. Statehood UPDATED

While Floridians were busy re-electing Barack Obama, voters in Puerto Rico yesterday participated in a referendum posing a fundamental question to their political status with the United States: statehood or no statehood?The first question on the two-part referendum asked voters if they wanted to cha ... More >>

Connie Mack's Wife, Mary Bono Mack, May Have Lost Her Election Last Night Too

It appears that Connie Mack IV won't even get to return to D.C. as a member of the House spouse's club. His wife, Mary Bono Mack, served in a House district representing Palm Springs, California, and after coming up short in the early vote tally, local media is now painting her Democratic challenger ... More >>

Connie Mack, 179th Most Conservative Member of Congress, Claims to Be "One of the Most Conservative" Members

Today, Rep. Connie Mack IV announced his "Social Conservatives for Mack Coalition" in a bid to shore up some far-right-wing support for his troubled Senate campaign. In the press release, his campaign declares that Mack "is one of the most conservative and hard-working members in the United States C ... More >>

Five Reasons Ricky Rubio Is a Better Vice-President Choice Than Marco Rubio

The political world has come down with a crippling case of Rubio-mania. A junior member of the glee club United States Senate, Marco Rubio is Latino, has Tea Partiers in his pocket, and represents Florida, the most important state in the 2012 presidential election. Name him as Mitt Romney's veep, th ... More >>

Ave Maria University Sues Obama Administration Over Contraception Rule

Ave Maria University -- the much-troubled, uber-Catholic institution near Naples -- is suing the Obama administration over its rule requiring health plans to cover free contraception."It is a sad day when an American citizen or organization has no choice but to sue its own government in order to exe ... More >>

Jose Mallea, Newt Gingrich's New Florida Chief, Has A Miami House In Foreclosure

photo by Gage via Wikimedia Commons​Out on the campaign trail, Republican presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich hasn't shown a ton of empathy toward the millions going through foreclosures. But maybe his new Florida campaign chief can change his tune with his own personal story of housing hell.Fo ... More >>

Ave Maria University: A Catholic project gone wrong

Republican State Senator: Some Hispanics "Really Have No Business Voting Anyhow"

Rep. Alan Hays​Florida will add two new congressional districts in 2012, and the Senate Reapportionment Committee is meeting to determine where to place those districts. One of the leading plans includes carving out a new district in Orange, Osceola and Polk counties that would create a strongly H ... More >>

Senate Candidate Adam Hasner: Occupy Protesters are "Thugs," "Anarchists" and "Anti-Semites"

​Adam Hasner is banking heavily on Tea Party support in his quest to secure the Republican nomination to take on Bill Nelson in 2012, but in a fundraising letter today he unleashed a very angry rant against another group of political protesters. Hasner pulled no punches in attacking, and in many c ... More >>

Allen West Finds Deep End, Goes Off It, References Slavery

​And now, another update on the strange public ramblings of the Republican from Broward, Congressman Allen West. He took his crazytalk on the road yesterday, upgrading from hateful, bullying emails to a few thousand watts of radio power on Mark Levin's show.He said liberals were threatened by him ... More >>

Voters love Luther Campbell

Mike Haridopolos Kicked Off Conservative Talk Show For Being Waffling Idiot

​Rep. Paul Ryan's Republican budget plan, which among other things essentially replaces Medicare with a voucher program, is shaping up to a be big issue in the 2012 election, and one would expect any candidate, especially running for a Federal legislative office, to have an opinion on it. Flor ... More >>

Luther Campbell Would Like To Thank His Voters

Alex Izaguirre​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke, who lost in Tuesday's mayoral election, lets voters explain why they chose him.I raised only $12,000 ... More >>

Alex Penelas: Mayoral loser

Rick Scott Takes Credit for Pill Database During Congressional Committee Testimony

​Everyone in Florida knows that Gov. Rick Scott has long opposed the state legislature-approved prescription pill database like a grumpy 2-year-old refusing to eat his vegetables. Of course, he also killed the Office of Drug Control because he thought it was a waste of money.But that didn't stop h ... More >>

Alex Penelas Wants To Finish His Job Of Ruining Miami-Dade

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke -- who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez -- explains why a reru ... More >>

Even Republicans are Angry Rick Scott Declined High-Speed Rail Funds

Even some Elephants prefer to travel by train. ​Rick Scott's decision to decline $2.4 billion in federal funds to build a state-of-the-art high-speed rail system in Florida continues to draw anger, ire and confusion today even from many Republicans. Today, a veto-proof majority of 26 state senator ... More >>

Woman Will Eat Dog Food on YouTube Every Day Until Animal Rights Law Passes

​As a Miami Beach resident Nikki Moustaki has an almost endless array of great dining right outside her doorstep, and yet everyday she eats dog food and uploads the dining experience to YouTube. The host of a pet related show on The Beach Channel plans to eat dog food at least once a day ever ... More >>

Marco Rubio, Frederica Wilson Make List of Congressional Hotties

Marco Rubio Riptide, 4-eva!​It's widely accepted that, for a politician at least, newly minted Florida senator Marco Rubio is kind of a hottie. I mean, he doesn't quite have that Aaron Schock six-pack, but no one would be embarrassed& to be caught up in a D.C. sex scandal with him. So it's n ... More >>

Congressman-elect David Rivera Being Investigated for $500,000 in Secret Payments from Dog Track

​Floridians sure didn't let silly things like "ethics" get in their way of voting this year. Just ask Governor-elect Medicare Fraud. Despite evidence that David Rivera claimed employment for years as a state legislator from an organization that said they'd never employed him, he was easily elected ... More >>

FAIR-y tales: The immigration saga continues

David Rivera Says He Worked for Company That's Never Heard of Him

​For the past seven years David Rivera, a Republican state legislator now running for congress in district 25, has filed sworn documents claiming that besides his salary from the state his main source of income has been from U.S. Agency for International Development. Well, The Miami Herald contact ... More >>

Bobbie Bean Speaks: Senate Candidate Clarifies Porcupine Position, Mallet-Waving Video

via Bobbiebean.comOutsider Senate candidate Bobbie Bean on his melon farm near Sebring.​Yesterday Riptide had some fun with Bobbie Bean, the mallet-waving, melon-farming outsider Senate candidate who snagged a spot on the ballot above Gov. Charlie Crist. Bean hadn't returned our call, so we didn't ... More >>

President Obama Records Radio Ad for Kendrick Meek

​Just days after The Wall Street Journal was floating severely under-sourced rumors that Kendrick Meek may be forced out of the senate race by his own party, President Obama has recorded a strongly worded radio ad for the Democratic candidate. It may be a little late in the game, but it should put ... More >>

Gambling back in Miami Beach?

Kendrick Meek Will Not Share Endorsements with Charlie Crist, Thank You Very Much

​Democratic Senate Candidate Kendrick Meek has declined the endorsement of influential environmental group the Sierra Club by basically claiming that he's greener than them. What's got Meek so mad? Well, the group made a joint endorsement throwing their support behind Charlie Crist as well.

Joe Garcia is Leading David Rivera in District 25, Says Democratic Poll

​Conventional wisdom says that the 2010 midterm elections are supposed to be tough for Democrats. There's already some conservative pundits who think that Republicans taking over the house is a done deal. Of course, national conventional political wisdom doesn't always translate to Miami-Dade, and ... More >>

Miami Herald Recommends Two Deadbeats for Elected Office

The Miami Herald recommends the fiscally irresponsible duo, Joe Celestin and Kevin Burns​With the primary election six days away, undecided voters usually turn to the Miami Herald's editorial board to help them decide who is the best candidate for the job. Unfortunately, Miami's only daily failed ... More >>

Marco Rubio and David Rivera's Tallahassee House Faces Foreclosure

Long before Marco Rubio and David Rivera became two of the highest profile Republican candidates in Florida, the Miami politicos shared a nice shady suburban house in Tallahassee, a few miles from the state capitol, just off the Apalachee Parkway.via New York Times MagazinePresumably, the scene insi ... More >>

Castro Death Meter: Yes! Experts Estimate Fidel Is Now 83 Percent Dead

The newly released 7-month-old photo.​Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>

Gerald Posner Hires Rush to Judgment Author Mark Lane in Plagiarism Case

Gerald Posner, Miami Beach author and admitted plagiarist, announced today that he's hired a lawyer to defend him against Miami New Times' stories about his literary thefts. photo by Bill Cooke​His choice of attorney is turning some heads in New York: Mark Lane is famous for authoring -- alm ... More >>

Marco Rubio Should Get Fitted For A White Robe and Hood

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke sizes up Senate candidates Charlie Crist, Kendrick Meek, and Marco Rubio.Alex Izaguirre​Rubio will probably go down in his ... More >>

David Rivera Takes Lobbyist Cash During Legislative Session

Former Miami-Dade Democratic Party Chairman Joe Garcia is wasting no time knuckling up for  Via David Rivera's FacebookAt a recent fundraiser, Rep. David Rivera (left) serenades supporters with the help of actor Steven Bauer, whom, as far as we know, doesn't do business with the state of Florid ... More >>

Is Jeb Bush Still in Charge of Florida?

​Jeb Bush left office four years ago, but Associated Press writer Martin Merzer thinks he may still be in charge of the state -- or at the very least still the most influential voice in the governing Republican party."He's become a legislative Wizard of Oz -- thunder and lightning and pulling the ... More >>

Scorsese's Shutter Island is the good kind of insane

Kendrick Meek Supports NASCAR, but Speedway Owners Back Charlie Crist

The owners of Florida's NASCAR-hosting speedways prefer Charlie Crist to Kendrick Meek and Marco. Rubio​News that Rep. Kendrick Meek is sponsoring NASCAR driver Mike Wallace's car in this weekend's Daytona 500, as well as being part of Wallace's pit crew, had Banana Republican scratching his peel. ... More >>

Spineless U.S. Congress Kills Latest Hopes to Close Gitmo

Back in February, I visited the Guantanamo Bay prison camp during President Obama's inauguration. At the time, it sure seemed like I was witnessing the last days of a ugly chapter in American history. ​Obama's first act as president was an order to close the place. The head of the detention center ... More >>

Glades Invaders

It's too late to stop the pythons. The real question is, what's next?

Animal Instincts

Zoophiles love and have sex with animals. Will the world ever accept them?

Top 10 Thursday: The Real Top 10 American Entertainers

Michael Jackson dies and all of a sudden he's the greatest entertainer of all time. Not so fast. MJ made three great albums, invented the moonwalk and, well.... Let us take another look at the performers who have truly proved most thrilling over the years.1. Elvis Presley Michael Jackson may have du ... More >>

Basshead

Home Stretch

Letters from the Issue of February 27, 2003

Cuba after Castro? Don't be left out!

1984 and Counting

Media attempts to find a face for terrorism -- and to fashion a response -- evoke George Orwell

The Return of Darryl Reaves

It was sweet and sour, and above all it was short

The Sound of Mutilation

Before the Nazis amputated her arm, Sara Fershko was a concert violinist. Today she's struggling to pay her medical bills

No Butts

When Cable-TAP told them to cover their asses, the Alliance Film and Video Project called the ACLU in instead