Tony Sparano

Stephen Ross Claims Tony Sparano "Damaged" the Miami Dolphins

What the hell exactly is a wrong with Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross? This is a guy who saw the public outrage over the Marlins stadium debacle, and almost immediately begins his own ill-timed campaign to seek public funds for a stadium upgrade. He's also apparently a guy who can't understand why an em ... More >>

Tony Sparano Employable After All, Hired By the New York Jets As Offensive Coordinator

An educated guess.​Despite being canned after the Dolphins fell to a miserable 4-9 record in December, former head coach Tony Sparano is once again employed in the National Football League.No, it's not selling concessions like we speculated on our cover two weeks ago -- it's even worse. He's with ... More >>

Hurricanes' 2002 BSC Win No Longer Lowest-Rated Championship Game

​The 2001 Miami Hurricanes are considered by most sane and reasonable people to be the greatest college football team of all time, but that didn't necessarily translate to big TV ratings. Their appearance in that year's Rose Bowl against the Nebraska Cornhuskers was the lowest-rated BCS Championsh ... More >>

Miami's Dirty Dozen 2011

View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.

Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too

​The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>

Tony Sparano Fired; Defensive Backs Coach Todd Bowles Named Interim Coach

​Rumors were spiraling this morning that Tony Sparano's fate was sealed as head coach with the Miami Dolphins, but the team isn't taking any time to make it official. According to The Miami Herald, the team will officially announce his termination this afternoon. Defensive backs coach Todd Bowles ... More >>

Pitbull Makes GQ's "Least Influential" List, But Not Ours; Meet Miami's Five Least Influential

​​In the December issue of GQ magazine, our hometown boy Pitbull is the only Miamian to make the list of the "25 Least Influential People Alive." Tim Pawlenty claimed the top spot and others on the list with less clout than the Cuban-American rapper include actress Gwenyth Patrow, deposed E ... More >>

Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

Tony Sparano Crowned Second Least Popular Coach Among NFL Players

​Don't feel bad about not having much love for Dolphins coach Tony Sparano. NFL players don't like him much either.The Sporting News polled 111 current players on which coach they'd least like to play for, and Sparano came in second, just one vote behind NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin.

Reader mail: Occupy Miami article is "lame"

Tony Sparano Selling His Mansion: Photo Tour of $1.7 Million Monument to Football Failure

Trulia.comA photo clearly taken before the 0-6 teepeeing began​​Tony Sparano is downsizing.Not just his ambitions for the Dolphins' season. Those went out the window weeks ago. No, he's downgrading his personal grandeur as well. The buzz-cutted-est coach in the NFL is selling his $1.7 million ma ... More >>

Dolphins Blow 15-Point Lead, Win Suck For Luck Bowl

​With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>

Tony Sparano and Jeff Ireland Likely to Find Themselves Unemployed After the Season

​In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, The Miami Herald reports that Stephen Ross is mentally preparing to send a pink slip to both Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano and general manager Jeff Ireland. Interestingly however, Ross apparently has a bit of "Suck for Luck" fever, and is hoping to bring ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

Karlos Dansby Throws Wet Sponges on Rumors of Firing Tony Sparano

​Over the past ten years, if Dolphins fans haven't been  talking about publicly drawing and quartering whatever unlucky sap is filling the quarterback role at Sun Life Stadium, they've likely yapping about burning the coach on a cross. Or, at least his contract.With a 0-2 record and the longe ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>

Desperate Dolphins Would Possibly Be Interested in Brett Favre

Well, Dolphins fans have been hoping all summer that the team would add a proven veteran quarterback. Sometimes you better be careful what you wish for. Sure, this Sun-Sentinel report is more of a "what if..." hypothesis shallowly designed for shock and page views, but the odd thing is that no one i ... More >>

Bill Parcells Almost Hired Rex Ryan as Dolphins' Head Coach

​Rex Ryan is high on the hate list of most Miami sports fans. In his tenure as head coach with the Jets, he's managed to find innovative, almost unbelievable ways to make the team even trashier. Yet former Dolphin's exec Bill Parcells admits that Ryan was his second choice to coach in Miami. Inste ... More >>

Dolphins to Keep Sparano as Coach: Well, This is an Awkward Mess

Tony Sparano​Tony Sparano will live to see another season as the Dolphins head coach as talks with Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh have apparently fallen through, according to ESPN. Which basically makes the Dolphins looks like the awkward laughing stock of the NFL. No one comes off looking good. Spar ... More >>

Dolphins Not Just Keeping Sparano, But Offering Him Contract Extension

Jeff Ireland: Finalist for NFL's Dick of the Year award? ​Well, according to ESPN, the Dolphins have not only decided to keep Tony Sparano on as head coach but now they're prepared to offer him a one year contract extension. Meaning not only will he be back in 2011, but 2012 as well. This is proba ... More >>

A look ahead: predicting 2011 headlines

Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

Jason Taylor Rips Tony Sparano As Dolphins Reportedly Contact Cowher and Harbaugh

​Jason Taylor has been dead to us ever since he left the Dolphins for the Jets, but Zombie Taylor appeared on Joe Rose's WQAM show this morning to join the cavalcade of players who are criticizing head coach Tony Sparano. This comes as reports that the team has reached out to both former Steelers ... More >>

Ricky Williams Rips Tony Sparano, Teammates

​Ricky Williams is known for not being your typical professional football player. He's introspective and, at times, something of a recluse. But even Ricky Williams can't stand another losing season for the Miami Dolphins, and after the Fins got hammered 38-7 by the Patriots on Sunday, Ricky took t ... More >>

A Look Ahead: Riptide Predicts 2011's Biggest Stories

​Any two-bit news rag can tell you what happened yesterday. But it takes a truly great publication -- one advertising Asian table massages in its back pages -- to predict the future. We donned our swami's cap and stared long and hard at our 2011 calendar until we started hallucinating. This is wh ... More >>

So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

Report: Bill Cowher Probably Won't Coach Dolphins Unless Ireland is Fired

Despite public votes of confidence, Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano's job is likely in danger. Though, if the Dolphins do fire Sparano they better make sure they bring in someone better to replace him. Looks like one of the leading buzzed about candidates isn't likely to want the job. A report from ... More >>

Tony Sparano's Job is Safe... For Now

​It looks like Tony Sparano may hold onto his job as the Dolphins head coach after all, and, interestingly, that Bill Parcells still has some sway in the organization. Former Raiders executive Mike Lombardi reported on Inside the NFL last night that sources close to the team say Parcells has convi ... More >>

Dominic Raiola, Detroit Lions Center, Caught on Tape Telling Dolphins Fans To Suck His D***

courtesy Detroit Lions​As if taking a kick to the nuts from the horrific Detroit Lions wasn't bad enough, a few fans got a little cherry on top of their Sunday turd sandwich courtesy Dominic Raiola, the Lions' center. As he strutted through the tunnel, he offered the Sun Life crew a witty riposte: ... More >>

If Tony Sparano Gets Axed, Should the Dolphins Go After a Superstar Coach? History Says No

​It's not official yet, but another Florida football team may soon be on the hunt for a new head coach. Following the Fin's friggin' seventh home loss of the season, speculation is brimming that Tony Sparano may soon be sleeping with the fishes, professionally anyway. Which means rampant replaceme ... More >>

Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Dolphins Lose Sixth Home Game of Season, Playoffs are DOA

​With Sunday's 17-14 loss to the lowly Buffalo Bills, it looks like the Miami Dolphins have managed to cobble together yet another season of rampant incompetence. The loss killed whatever feeble hopes Miami had on making the playoffs, putting their record at 7-7 and giving them their sixth ho ... More >>

Dolphins To Take in Broadway Play Before Jets Game

​The Miami Dolphins raised some eyebrows when they announced they'd be landing New York today instead of the usual Saturday arrival for their game this weekend against the Jets. Well, it turns out that owner Stephen Ross arranged the early visit so his team could take in a showing of a Broadway pl ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Offense Finally Shows Up

I don't see a difference, do you Dolfans?​Here is a shocker. The Miami Dolphins finally scored more than 30 points this season. It was an offensive explosion for 471 yards that featured two big play touchdowns by running back Ricky Williams and undrafted rookie wide receiver Marlon Moore. Watching ... More >>

Will the Dolphins Replace Tony Sparano With Jon Gruden?

​With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>

Dolphins Media Members Cat Fight!

​Apparently, the local beat writers that cover the Miami Dolphins at the Sun-Sentinel and Miami Herald have been sniping at each other the last couple of days. It's mainly been done on twitter, because you can really zing a guy in 140 characters or less.You want to know what's going on with your M ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Fire Special Teams Coach John Bonamego

Whether or not you actually knew the name of the Dolphins special teams coach John Bonamego before last night's bumbling loss to the Patriots, by the end of it you knew you wanted him fired. It might not be the same as erasing the soul crushing failures of last night's game from you mind, but with l ... More >>

Diversions Readers' Poll Winners

Joey Porter and His Mouth Fired by the Dolphins

Derf​Joey Porter's contract has been terminated by the Miami Dolphins. This comes after Porter's very public two-week campaign demanding that the Fins either play him as a full-time starter or let him go.Late last month, Porter went on a media rampage, making stops on ESPN and WQAM, complaining of ... More >>

Letters from the issue of December 24, 2009

Miami Dolphins' Tony Sparano is a conservative coach who takes huge risks

News Roundup: West Miami Mayor Suspended for Gabbing; Cuban Ump Defects

West Miami Mayor Ceasar Carasa has been suspended for racking up a $70,000 cell phone bill on the City's dime. Carasa is not believed to be an actual teenage girl. [NBCMiami]The Miami Art Museum has named John Wetenhall as its interim director. Previously he's worked in museums in such cultural hotb ... More >>

Three Players Quit Fins Training Camp, Including Best Named Prospect Ever

News flash out of Davie this morning, courtesy of the Associated Press: Dolphins training camp really sucks ass, and coach Tony Sparano knows it.via Wikimedia CommonsThis guy just lost the best (named) offensive lineman in history.​Fullback Matt Quillen, a 24-year-old prospect out of the fightin' ... More >>

The Cat Comes out of the Bag

Weekend Football: Any Given Friday Afternoon Post

Every weekend the local professional and college level football player-type people assemble on the field to play their games. Every weekend we write things about it, because it is an easy Friday afternoon post. We also post something dumb holding a football. This week is no exception. Anyway, we ar ... More >>

In Sarah Palin's World Tony Sparano is Torpedo Vindicator

Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"

Dolphins to Interview Schwartz

Sparano Offered Coaching Job?