Subject:

Tom Brady

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2014

    Dolphins Made Tom Brady Cry With Epic Week-One Comeback Win

    Yes, Fins fans. That really happened. Sunday was not a weird acid flashback to your Dan Marino druggie glory days. The Dolphins scored 33 points, the Patriots scored only 20, and Tom Brady even got a little weepy on the bench at the end. See also: Photos from the Patriots vs. Dolphins game at Sun L ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    Dolphins Win. Michael Thomas Intercepts. Maybe It Is Our Time.

    After 7 straight losses against the Pats dating back to 2009, the Miami Dolphins held strong against Tom Brady and a Pats team that had feasted all year on last-minute comebacks. As the Dolphins took the lead with 1:15 to go, the feeling in every Dolphins fan's stomach was "Oh shit, here we go agai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Dolphins Implode Against Pats in 27-17 Loss

    The Dolphins stormed out of the gate yesterday with a 17-3 lead. But then they did that so very Dolphins thing they do and gave up 24 unanswered points to what on paper and early on seemed like a depleted, lost, and hurting Patriots team. Alas, there is no better cure for what ails any NFL team than ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2013

    Dolphins at Patriots: Five Keys To a Fins Win

    The Dolphins travel to New England on Sunday and three weeks ago most Dolphins fans would have greeted this challenge with a salivating maw. Today, however, our collective asshole is clenched tighter than Justin Bieber entering the showers of a maximum security prison on national "Fuck a Horrible Hu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2013

    Five Free Agents the Miami Dolphins Must Try to Sign

    The NFL's free-agency period begins this Tuesday, March 12, and your Miami Dolphins -- with about $36 million in cap space -- are poised for one of the biggest offseasons in franchise history. Naturally, there's a good chance they'll fuck it up, but here are the five free agents the Dolphins should ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus Jaguars

    Ah, the Battle for Florida.Former Dolphin Chad 'The Robot' Henne vs. Ryan 'Tanny Boyeee' Tannehill! Revenge for 62-7! Vindication for the loud, smelly fart that 2012 has proven to be! A chance to avoid a fourth losing season in five years! Tough-nosed, physical ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2012

    Patriots Top Dolphins 23-16 As Tannehill Struggles

    Going into Sunday's contest there was a feeling the Patriots' offense could easily drop 60 points on the Dolphins' atrocious secondary. Instead, Tom Brady had probably his worst game of the season, the defense kept the Fins in it for most of the game and rookie QB Ryan Tannehill had the kind of up-a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus Patriots

    Let's not kid ourselves.There's a very good chance Tom Brady and Co. are going to come in to Sun Life on Sunday and absolutely destroy the living crap out of our football team. However, the one thing we have going for us is that (hopefully) no one on our team will ever look like as much of a dork as ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 29, 2012
  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Titans

    After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2012

    Gisele Bundchen and Eight Other Women Who Stand by Their Men

    ​Can we all stop hating on Gisele Bundchen? The lady has had a pretty stressful week. First she had to watch her husband, Tom Brady, completely choke in his starring role on the most-watched TV show of all time. Then she had to pretend she thought he did a really excellent job. Cameras captured he ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2012

    Five Things We Learned From Super Bowl XLVI

    ​Did you catch the big game last night, champ? Oh, it was truly one for the ages. There was plenty of action, highs and lows, and surprises around every turn. And that's just the commercials.The Giants-Patriots showdown was more than the mere spectacle of violence and pain we've become accustomed ... More >>

  • News

    January 5, 2012
  • Blogs

    January 3, 2012

    Cam Newton Could Become the Black QB Role Model That Michael Vick Never Had

    Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell addresses why African-American NFL quarterbacks don't have any heroes to look up to. In baseball, African-American play ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2012

    In Jason Taylor's Final Game, Dolphins End Jets' Season

    ​Jason Taylor played in the final game of his career yesterday. And what better way for him to go out than to bang the New York Jets' season right in its ear hole, and send them back home with nothing. The Jets, needing a win (and a little help) to get into the playoffs, came into SunLife Sta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Don Shula Says Packers Can Match '72 Dolphins' Perfect Season

    ​The members of the '72 Miami Dolphins haven't gotten a chance yet to pop champagne, as the Green Bay Packers have remained undefeated with little signs of slowing down. Could Perfectville soon have a population of two?These are dark days in Dolphinland, as they have been for much of the past deca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2011

    Brady, Belichick Two Wins Away from Breaking Marino and Shula's Wins Record

    ​After 27 years, Dan Marino's record for most yards in a single season is expected to be overtaken. Even Marino admits as much. But another Marino record will almost surely be broken this year.With 116 wins together with the Dolphins, Marino and Don Shula hold he NFL record for most wins by a QB a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

    TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2011

    Tom Brady Is the New Ugg Boots for Men Spokesman, Which at Least Gives Dolphins a Moral Victory

    ​As Miami Dolphins fans, our gut reaction to Tom Brady is "ugh," so we guess it's only fitting he's the new poster boy for Ugg for Men boots. Yes, Uggs, those horribly ugly sheepskin affronts to footwear decency favored by circa 2005 UM sorority girls (paired with miniskirts, naturally) and middle ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 1, 2011
  • Blogs

    August 12, 2011

    Chad Henne Is the Worst-Ranked Starting QB in the NFL

    ​Lest you think Miami Dolphins fans were being overdramatic in their disappointment that the team couldn't get a starting quarterback better than Chad Henne, we now have cold, hard rankings to back our whining. USA Today ranked all 32 teams' starting quarterbacks, and Henne came in 31st out of 32. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 10, 2011

    LeBron James Plummets on Most Influential Athletes List

    ​Every year, Forbes slaps together a list of America's most influential athletes, and LeBron James was riding high at number two last year. Of course, some sort of "decision" happened in the meantime, and King James has seen his rankings fall. He's still in the top ten, but barely. Granted, a cham ... More >>

  • News

    March 24, 2011
  • Blogs

    October 4, 2010

    Gisele Bündchen Comes to Town to Root for Tom Brady's Hair

    via JustJared​Normally, thanks to their semi-ridiculous effort to enlist B-listers as co-owners the Miami Dolphins have the biggest star power in their rooting section. That's not true when the New England Patriots come to town and Tom Brady brings his wifey Gisele Bundchen. The Brazilian sup ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2010

    Dolphins Host the Patriots Tonight: Keys To Victory

    Last week, it was against the Jets on Sunday Night Football. Tonight, it's the Patriots on Monday Night Football. That's two straight weeks the Dolphins face an AFC East rival in the national spotlight. Also, it's two straight weeks they face a team with an insufferable fanbase. So tonight is a must ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 23, 2010
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    July 8, 2010
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    July 8, 2010
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    July 8, 2010
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    July 8, 2010
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    January 21, 2010
  • News

    December 17, 2009
  • Blogs

    December 7, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Win: Never Say Die!

    ​Just when you thought they were good and dead, the Miami Dolphins pull off one of the most satisfying, Scarlett-Johansson's-knockers-in-your-face awesome victories of the 2009 season. It came thanks in large part to Chad Henne, Vontae Davis, and a Dolphins team that simply won't die.On their firs ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 3, 2009
  • Blogs

    November 9, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Lose: Hauntingly Familiar

    ​When Vontae Davis started off the game with a leaping interception that can only be described as Fuck Yea!, the consensus feeling was the Dolphins were going to make this one interesting. Maybe even pull off the upset. Alas, it was not to be. The Patriots were able to show us, once again, that th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Preview: One Insufferable Fanbase Down, One To Go

    ​When last we saw our Miami Dolphins, they were busy beating the bejesus out of the shitdipping trash-talking New York Jets, and silencing their shitdipping trash-talking fans in the process. It was one of the most satisfying wins in recent memory. Jason Taylor was able to talk some trash of his o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2009

    Food News Roundup: Benihana, Fiji Water, Jamaican Jerk, Michael Jordan, Necker Island, and Cuban Food

    Canadian companies attend America's largest food and beverage show, coming soon to Miami Beach. [GovMonitor]Miami-based Benihana restaurants to donate 100% of Fiji Water sales revenue to Best Buddies charity for month of November. [Reuters]8th annual Grace Jamaican Jerk Festival this weekend at Mark ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2009

    News Roundup

    A county program that helped low-income people pay their utility bills will be shut down because the county was overwhelmed by the amount of applications that came in. [CBS4]Whiney Fidel Castro says America is infecting Cuba with swine flu, but not intentionally. [CBS4]For the 21st time this year, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2009

    It Was Fun While It Lasted: Dolphins Have the Hardest NFL Schedule in 2009

    All the naysayers (me included, often) think the Dolphins' roller coaster 2008 season ought to come with a few caveats: "Yeah, yeah, but Tom Brady was out the entire season... Sure, but the Jets had that old guy... Well, the wildcat won't be as effective next year... Whatever, you had an easy schedu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2008

    The Dolphins' Ass-Kicking Prowess Has Gone International

    Holy sugartits is this a magical time to be a Dolphins fan! They're just displaying all kinds of dexterity in the ass-kicking department, as they did yesterday when they flew into Canada's Rogers Centre and delivered a beatdown to the rival Buffalo Bills. The Fins defeated Buffalo 16-3 in front of a ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 30, 2008

    The Bums Have Their Day

    Hit the links for some fun fundraising.

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2008

    Weekend Football: Hold On

    Last time we checked in with our lil' football friends the Dolphins shocked the nation and had last week off, the Canes fell apart in the last quarter of a game they should have won, and the Golden Panthers won their first game of the season. So in two cases we'll see one win wonders trying to hold ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2008

    One Of These Things Looks Like The Other

    via Look Liker Look Liker, a very important website that exists solely to provide the valuable service of pointing out that from certain angles various persons of note somewhat resemble each other, brought us the news yesterday that Dolphins QB Chad Pennington sorta, kinda looks like reigning geek ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2008

    The Dolphins Would Like to Invite the Naysayers to Eat a Dick Sandwich

    The Miami Dolphins shocked the world Sunday, defeating the mighty New England Patriots in Foxboro 38-13. Ronnie Brown accounted for all five touchdowns, leading the previously hapless Fins in their Ike Turner-esque bitch slap of the Patriots in New England. The victory ended the Pats' 21-regular sea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2008

    The Right Arm of God Crushes King Douche Into Fine Powder

    I've always liked ESPN's Jeffri Chadiha. He's what a sports anchor/writer should be. Intelligent, insightful, and, most importantly, not a douche. Unlike scrotum slapping jackals like Skip Bayless or Sean Salisbury, who like to yell and spit and play the role of the tough ornery guy without saying m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2008

    Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan

    Somewhere in this long ass article in the Boston Herald (once you get passed the part about Randy Moss being a complete asswipe and Tom Brady being a total shithead, you're golden) a league source says the Dolphins -- possessors of the number one overall pick -- are intrigued by BC quarterback Matt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2008

    Breaking News - The Tuna Fires Cam Cameron

    The Cam Cameron era is over. He and his talking penis have been fired. Bobby Knight and his friendship with Bill Parcells clearly wasn't enough to save Cam's ass from the inevitable. It's 1-15 and done. It's kinda sad, really. Like when a goldfish dies. You knew it was coming. And you sort of could ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2007
  • Blogs

    October 22, 2007

    Dolphins on Path to Winless Season

    Dolphins fans couldn't do much but hide their faces Sunday as the team fell to 0-7 AP Photo Everybody knows the 0-7 Dolphins are bad. But after Sunday's nausea-inducing loss to the New England Patriots, Miami looks like it has a legitimate shot at being the first 0-16 team in NFL history. Sund ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 18, 2007
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