Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods Needs to Fight Sergio Garcia's Ignorance

Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke gives so,e advice to the world's most popular golfer. It's high time Tiger Woods stops putting up with the blatant racism thrown at him. He needs to stand ... More >>

LeBron James Would "Whoop On" Fired Rutgers Coach Mike Rice

Former Rutgers coach Mike Rice is a sad little rage ball of a man who makes Bobby Knight look like a Zen Buddhist. The coach was fired yesterday after ESPN aired video of Rice hurling balls at players' heads, repeatedly shoving his players during practice, and calling them slurs such as "f*ggot" and ... More >>

Get On My Lawn

Dada 5000 Kicks It With Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer, and Lee Trevino

Ever since Tiger Woods shot a videogame commercial with Miami's backyard fight king Dhafir Harris, AKA Dada 5000, the planet's most famous professional golfer is winning again and back on top of the world rankings. Coincidence? We think not. Because all Dada 5000 does is win, win, win, baby.About a ... More >>

John Cena, Lance Armstrong, Michael Vick, Tiger Woods: Stars Replace Mascots on Cereal Boxes

Is caveman Fred Flintstone following T-Rex and Twinkies into extinction? If you took a trip to your local supermarket cereal aisle, you might get that idea because instead of the usual beefy neanderthal on boxes of Post Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, you might just see WWE star John Cena. As part of a pr ... More >>

Wynwood Art Walk: Clandestine Culture Takes Center Stage

LeBron James Now Only America's Sixth Most Hated Athlete!

​Good news for LeBron James! He's now only the sixth most hated professional athlete in America! That's down from second place on Forbes.com's list last year. Hell, as we've previously noted, he's no longer the most hated player in the NBA. That title now belongs to that guy who had exclusive acce ... More >>

Black quarterbacks have no role models in the NFL

Kim Kardashian's Next Husband Is Gonna Be...

Luther "Luke" Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for Kim Kardashian.It shouldn't surprise anyone interested in celebrity culture that Kim ... More >>

Tiger Woods Needs A Little Of That Earl Wisdom That Made Him Great

Alex Izaguirre​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke thinks Tiger Woods let Stevie Williams off easy.Tiger Woods could really use his dad right no ... More >>

Lady Gaga's A Very Gaga Thanksgiving: Ten Celebrities That Should Never Do a Holiday Show

Will Lady Gaga wear a turkey dress?​Lady Gaga just announced her new holiday special, A Very Gaga Thanksgiving. The show will air on ABC on Thanksgiving day, November 24, and will feature Tony Bennett and Katie Couric. If that's not bizarre enough, Gaga is set to perform "White Christmas" and chef ... More >>

Tiger Woods Gets Attacked by Hot Dog

​In the past few years, we've all heard numerous Tiger Woods wiener jokes. In fact, The Somewhere in Augusta sports bar has a special Tiger Woods Homewrecker hot dog (it's a foot-long, in case you were wondering).But at the Frys.com Open yesterday, a man threw a hot dog at Woods as he was lining u ... More >>

Top Ten Cheapest Celebrity Tippers

When it comes to tipping, Tiger is under par.​It was reported by TMZ that President Obama "dropped over $200" on a burger lunch for he and a large group of campaign volunteers at Ted's Bulletin Restaurant in Washington, D.C. -- and that he "tipped more than 35%."However, not all famous people are ... More >>

Those Dirty LeBron James and Rashard Lewis Rumors

​You might remember that last year, Fox Sports Radio personality Stephen A. Smith was the first guy to report that LeBron James indeed would be joining Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade with the Miami Heat. People laughed at him when he first Tweeted the assertion, but he looked pretty prescient after it ... More >>

LeBron James is the 10th Most Powerful Celebrity in the World According to Forbes

​Forbes has tallied up the world's most powerful celebrities, and the Miami Heat's own LeBron James comes in at number three. Though he's not that most powerful athlete (Tiger Woods somehow still takes that one), he is the most powerful celebrity athlete from a team sport. Besides Woods, only A-li ... More >>

Celebrity Autobiography exposes stars as the half-wits they are

LeBron James Plummets on Most Influential Athletes List

​Every year, Forbes slaps together a list of America's most influential athletes, and LeBron James was riding high at number two last year. Of course, some sort of "decision" happened in the meantime, and King James has seen his rankings fall. He's still in the top ten, but barely. Granted, a cham ... More >>

Q Scores: People Don't Hate LeBron James Nearly as Much Anymore

Good news for LeBron James: he's not nearly as hated as he was following his infamous "decision." According to The Q Score Company, which tracks public perception of celebrities, brands and other entities, James' popularity has slowly bounced back in the months since. Though, he's nowhere near as po ... More >>

Hand of God

Tiger Woods' Penis Beats LeBron for "Sports Story of the Year"

​Members of the Associated Press have voted for the "Sports Story of the Year," and it seems the winner actually was a bit more of a tabloid story than really a sports story ...and that's only if you consider golf a sport. The continued fallout from Tiger Woods' massive cheating scandal took the t ... More >>

Youth Served and Swung

McSweeney Man

USA Today Runs Front Page Anti-Heat Propaganda

​USA Today sure had a big scoop splashed across its front page today. Apparently, everyone in America outside of Miami hates the Miami Heat. That's real breaking news there. Someone notify the Pulitzers.At least we did learn a few things. Like the fact that apparently people view the Miami Heat as ... More >>

Golfing With the Tribe

Top 10 List of Whiteys Who Might Get Away With Using the N-Word

Pets 4 Dawn via flickr Oh no she didn't!​ The second the N word left Dr. Laura Schlessinger's mouth on her nationally syndicated radio show last week she must have known she started another N word related crap storm. Dr. Laura doesn't have near the street cred a white person needs to get a ... More >>

In Lieu of The Rock and Tiger Woods, WWE Gets Bradley Cooper and UFC Star to Host Miami Raw

​There's been rumors circulating for months that when the WWE brings its long running Raw program to the American Airlines Arena on June 7 they wanted to bring a big name guest hosts in tow. First there were whispers that the night could see the long-anticipated return of Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson ... More >>

Tiger Woods Will Not Be Hosting WWE Raw in Miami, Not Like Anyone Really Thought He Would

​Earlier this month, multiple reports popped up that World Wrestling Entertainment was trying to secure Tiger Woods as a special guest host when it stages Raw at the American Airline Arena on June 7th. It's not a completely far-flung idea. Woods is apparently a fan of rasslin', frie ... More >>

Michelle "Bombshell" McGee Hosting Party at LIV at the Fontainebleau

via TMZ​Fresh off a skanky smack down at the hands of Tina Fey on this weekend's Saturday Night Live, Michelle "Bombshell" McGee is set to guest host at LIV. Yes, the lady famous for flirting with Nazi propaganda and giving Sandra Bullock's husband full range of her tattooed body will be coming to ... More >>

Tiger Woods Nike Ad Remix Reveals Real 2 Live Crew-Scored Inner Thoughts

​The media has been pretty quiet on this, but apparently famous golfer Tiger Woods got caught having crazy sexy time encounters with more than a dozen women who weren't his wife. He's back playing golf now, though, and his main sponsor, Nike, has stuck by him. Yesterday they premiered some weird-a ... More >>

Mesazul Steakhouse Debuts at Doral

​Miami's Doral Golf Resort & Spa has capped off its $16 million facelift with the opening of two new dining options. The Bossa Nova Lounge will feature live music in the resort lobby and a menu of tapas-style small plates such as Ecuadorian-style shrimp ceviche; chorizo sausage and manchego ch ... More >>

UPDATE: Lilith Fair Finally Confirms West Palm Beach Date, August 10, and Lineup

​As I type this, Lilith Fair's official site is crashing like any web coverage devoted to Tiger Woods' return to professional golf at this year's Masters. And for good reason. The all-female touring festival featuring the likes of Loretta Lynn, Kelly Clarkson, Mary J. Blige, Erykah Badu, Tegan and ... More >>

The Players Club

Magic City Kitty: Top 9 Sexstions of 2009

​We are the paper that will put a ball gag in your mouth and slap you onto the cover. We get ragged on about the pros advertising in the back of our book and the smutty things we sometimes document within our pages, but with Magic City Kitty, you guys write in and prove to us that your sexual appe ... More >>

Silicon Beach: Tiger Woods Ranks Higher Than Jesus Christ and Santa Claus on Google

Image via Nevada Tumbleweed's Flickr/CC 2.0​Tiger Woods will probably upstage Jesus Christ at every Christmas church sermon this holiday season, if we were to use Google as a gauge of human inquiry. At approximately 7 p.m. EST on Christmas Eve, the world golf champion garnered 50,000,000 return re ... More >>

Protest: King Mango Strut Creator Won't March

Lurkzilla Via Flicker CCA very Miami satire: Chonga Girl as grand marshal a couple of years ago.When Glenn Terry started a satirical parade called the King Mango Strut in 1982, life was more simple. He plopped down two cardboard boxes at the end of a street with signs that read, "Closed fo ... More >>

Get Overheated With Your Morons of the Week

We've been hit with a cold front, and if you're like Riptide, your office is about as cozy as a gulag right now. But that's OK, because this week's batch of morons has a MWQ (Moronic Wattage Quotient) powerful enough to heat a three-story building. Throw on a Christmas sweater and rub your hands in ... More >>

News Roundup: Dwyane Wade is Smoother than Tiger Woods

Turns out that the EPIC hotel was not the sources of those strains of legionnaires disease after all. [AP]Looks like a group of banks are going to take ownership of ICON Brickell. [WSJ]The Fire Station on Key Biscayne is now closed two days a week, so do try and not have a fire on one of those days. ... More >>

Thievery Corporation plays the Fillmore Miami Beach

Meet Us on the 9th Green at Nine, Happy

Screw the golf; it's cocktail time

Putt-Putt Paradise

Meandering Meadows

Behold, the siren sounds of Mr. Marion.

Feel Bad for Your Dad

Don’t shop at Ross for Father’s Day, mmmkay?

Trawling Trollops

Dread-less Dolphins

A new reality dawns

Don’t Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Best Hole At A Golf Course

Number three

In the Rough

A half-century before the Tiger Woods era, black Miamians fought a losing battle to hit the links

Night & Day

February 25 - March 3, 1999

Rotations

Calendar for the week