You would not want to come across one while snorkeling. They are bloated, malignant-looking wretched things worth a buck apiece. They feel and taste like boogers. This horrifying, gelatinous creature is known as the sea cucumber and -- at first glance -- it looks like something in a medical textbook ... More >>
Early Sunday morning a 2001 Ford Expedition sped onto Interstate 295 going the wrong way and exploded into a 2010 Hyundai Sonata, killing all four University of South Florida students inside. According to video obtained by Live Leak, a woman named Jada Wright was following the Ford Expedition's tra ... More >>
Florida hasn't had a lieutenant governor for 256 days, but now Gov. Rick Scott has finally gotten around to forming a short list of candidates to replace the disgraced Jennifer Carroll. Naturally, one of the candidates in the running has already dropped out.
Well, the possibility of a rival team in Miami wasn't the only thing that had soccer fans in Orlando booing last night. Rick Scott showed up to the announcement of the new Orlando MLS team and was promptly booed off stage.
Without any help from our sports teams Florida already has a well deserved reputation for unabated weirdness, but the bizarre sports scandals that have erupted in the state in the past three years alone is out of control by sports standards, by Florida standards, or by any standards of human decency ... More >>
If there's any doubt left that former Republican governor Charlie Crist is really going to challenge Rick Scott as a Democrat next year, his new web ad released alongside the relaunch of his website should erase them. It's not technically a campaign ad since Crist hasn't officially announced his can ... More >>
Bill Edwards is one of Rick Scott's top individual donors. He dropped a $500,000 check to Scott's "Let's Get to Work" reelection PAC. Ironically, almost 500 of his employees will not get to work soon. One of Edwards' companies, Mortgage Investment Corp., abruptly announced yesterday it's laying off ... More >>
Sounds like someone is plagued by a serious amount of body thetans. Denise Gentile, the twin sister of David Miscavige, the top religious leader of the Church of Scientology, was arrested in St. Petersburg on marijuana charges over the weekend. Gentile is active in the church as well, and Scientol ... More >>
The response to the Supreme Court's decisions on gay marriage yesterday by both of Florida's senators couldn't have been more different. Democrat Bill Nelson released a terse 17-word statement supporting the decision, while Marco Rubio spent 482 words explaining why he doesn't he agree with it.
As Drizzy Drake himself likes to brag: "Started from the bottom, now we're here." Just a year and a half ago (even after the radio rap glory of his sophomore album, Take Care, and massive singles like "The Motto"), the YMCMB member was still "drinkin' with his people" in mid-sized venues. But "no ... More >>
Fourteen-year-old Chris Martin is probably cooler than you. He wears anarchy symbol shirts to school (because fuck the crumbling system, right?). He doesn't label his sexuality (because labels are limiting anyway). And he wears makeup to school (because gender roles are outdated and oppressive socia ... More >>
Forgive Bill Nelson for taking his time. After all, the issue of gay marriage had nothing to do with his preferred issues of space and snakes.Ever a moderate, Nelson had stuck to a low-key position supporting civil unions. Apparently the 70-year-old senator finally realized he was just one of seven ... More >>
Florida Senator Bill Nelson finally got around to supporting gay marriage last night by penning a brief, sort-of-uncomfortable editorial for The Tampa Bay Times. Don't expect him to talk much more about it, though, because today he's gone back to talking about one of his favorite subjects: space shi ... More >>
Congratulations, we're 119th!Gallup has once again released its annual Well-Being Index, and of the country's 189 metropolitan statistical areas, the Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Pompano area came in 119th. Which still isn't that great, but it's a stark improvement from our 146th ranking in 2011.
Jim Greer used to be the top Republican in Florida. Now he'll find himself at the bottom of the prison food chain.The former Republican Party of Florida chair was sentenced to 18 months in prison today.See also:- Jim Greer: Racism and Dead Bodies Ahead
Among the many natural calamities in Florida that are foreign to the average American -- killer alligators, Category 5 hurricanes, bath-salts abusing maniacs -- sinkholes are perhaps the most quietly terrifying. Think about it: At this very minute, you could be standing on a small layer of swampy di ... More >>
Our own Senator Spacesnakes is apparently one of the biggest bad asses in all of Washington D.C. He's been named by U.S. News and World Reports as one of the top ten "toughest" politicians in America.
If your job is to run a department charged with protecting animal welfare, there are a few choice topics best left alone in conversations with your employees. Tijuana donkey shows are definitely on that list.Pinellas County's Animal Services director, Phillip Morgan, learned that lesson the hard way ... More >>
What happens when you put a bunch of Florida Republican reps up in Disney's swanky Grand Floridian resort in Orlando? Apparently some drunken, rowdy nonsense. No one knows exactly what went down on a night in November, but Speaker of the House Will Weatherford says he's looking into it.
Rodney Blanchard had already solidified his bid for "Worst Person In Florida" when police came to his mobile home this weekend to find that he'd stuffed four live kittens into plastic bags and trapped them in his freezer. But this is Florida, and Blanchard knew he faced stiff competition.Today, he u ... More >>
Swept up in Tea Party hysteria, Pinellas County --Florida's sixth largest county and home to St. Petersburg -- decided to stop the widespread practice of fluoridating its water supply in a surprising 4-3 county commission vote last year. Though, citizens soon got sick of sipping that right wing ... More >>
Up in Tampa Bay the latest craze is to throw all sorts of baby wild animals in the pool and let kids swim with them. Sure, authorities may have put an end to venture that rented out baby alligators to swim at kids' pool parties, but now a private zoo in the area is offering kids the experience of sw ... More >>
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has decided to be a party pooper. They've pulled the plug on those "alligators swimming with kids" pool parties that so captivated us, hence killing an important part of Florida culture and tradition that never got a chance to properly flourish.
See also "Lady Gaga Stinks Like FAME" and "World's Most Powerful Women in Pop: From Gaga to J.Lo." Lady Gaga has been straight pissing people off with her latest tour, the Born This Way Ball. She canceled her trip to Indonesia, landed amid some serious protesters in the Philippines and riled up Ko ... More >>
Amid the sound, fury, and heated arguments between 82-year-old actors and empty chairs at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, I stopped briefly to listen to Mommy Lobby President Cindy Chafian argue with a French blogger. "All I'm saying is that there should be a 48-hour cool-off period an ... More >>
"Clint Eastwood and an empty chair. This should be good," I thought from a media riser inside the Tampa Bay Times Forum, site of the 2012 Republican National Convention. The delegates from Vermont and Kansas seated just below me were enthusiastic, anxious to hear what the former mayor of Carmel-by-t ... More >>
Judge Will Matthews from Dothan, Alabama, was settling into a meal of hot dogs loaded with ketchup and mayonnaise inside the Tampa Bay Times Forum amidst the third day of the Republican National Convention when he noticed a Republican from Southern California to his left. She had puffy blonde hair, ... More >>
After GOP Party Chairman Reince Priebus got into a heated shouting match on Monday with Chris Matthews over accusations that his party plays the "race card" against Obama, Republicans crowed that the clip showed the liberal media in its worst kind of attack mode. Race? We've never even heard of race ... More >>
Check out our slide shows: "Inside the Republican National Convention 2012 at Tampa Bay Times Forum," and "Republican National Convention 2012 Tampa Day Two." Tampa's rich with GOP swag this week as thousands of Republicans gather to show off their favorite Mitt Romney mementos and Paul Ryan tchot ... More >>
Florida's Republican delegation hasn't exactly been getting the warmest welcome at the party's national convention in Tampa. First, Tropical Storm Isaac forced Rick Scott to cancel his big prime-time speech. Then, insiders floated the idea of taking away Sen. Marco Rubio's big moment introducing Mit ... More >>
Is tropical storm Isaac God's way of smiting Tod Akin for saying stupid sh*t? Is it a coincidence that the squall is set to touch down at the very moment that Rick Scott takes to the podium in Tampa? Does Jesus just hate the GOP?Get a hold of yourself, man! Rule No. 1 in an emergency like this: don' ... More >>
Tampa's strip club industry is preparing for a cash-making bonanza next week as tens of thousands of Republicans come to town to blather on about family values all day before hitting Ybor City at night to get hammered and ogle some T&A. But Tampa police are drawing a line in the sand: GOP delega ... More >>
The Republican National Convention is coming to Tampa Bay in August, and along with it will comes thousands of protestors. Women's rights group Code Pink, which isn't shy about causing a commotion, is already planning its protest and is asking members to "bring their vagina to the RNC." Yes, they're ... More >>
Under dark clouds and a "monster-sized extraterrestrial spider looming over center field," Florence Welch performed that catchy song from the Eat Pray Love trailer to close her opening set at last year's U2 concert at Sun Life Stadium. The boisterous reception following the final note of "Dog Days ... More >>
Attention Miami-area anarchists, liberals, and Occupiers: Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn is worried about "knuckleheads" causing trouble during the Republican National Convention this August. So to keep all the Romney-disturbers in line, last night he proposed a "Clean Zone" across most of downtown Tam ... More >>
Get ready for a Romney-Rubio ticket, Florida. Even as Miami's favorite Tea Party son tells everyone who will listen that he has zero plans to run as vice president this year, the Tampa Bay Times reports that he's studiously following the textbook on how to prepare for a vice presidential run.He's ... More >>
Florida cops, it seems, will do just about anything to find that marijuana plant growing in your closet. The U.S. Supreme Court will soon decide whether Miami police violated the Constitution by routinely sniffing around suspected grow houses with drug-smelling dogs without first getting a search ... More >>
We may not have known it then. But Florida in the 1990s was a bonafide punk rock factory. Down in South Florida, labels like Starcrunch, 4 and Half Finger Records, and Far Out were pressing soon-to-be classics by the Stun Guns, Chickenhead, and the Crumbs. Our not-too-distant neighbors in Tampa ... More >>
Miami-Dade County may soon get some stiff competition in attracting naked tourists. Pasco County, located just north of Tampa Bay, is considering using tax dollars to actively promote its numerous nudist resorts to rich European travelers looking to expose every last inch of their skin to the war ... More >>
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
via Bay News 9It's in the 80s and perfectly sunny here in Miami, but our state-mates in the central part of Florida aren't enjoying the same good weather. An apparent tornado that ripped through Tampa has left many areas in Central Florida in disarray. But a report carried by numerous national me ... More >>
photo by Gerry Thomasen via wikimedia commonsAfter watching one too many sad bastards who'd lost their licenses to a DUI come wandering into his scooter shop, Doug Vitello had a brilliant idea: What if he could sell them a low-speed bike that could get them to work or the probation office?Thanks ... More >>
Pink Lincolns - Sumo Fumes 2 (Stiff Pole Records) www.stiffpolerecords.com In honor of Richard "Big Stiff" Konwinski, who passed this past July in Tampa, I'll be juggling between the County Grind and Crossfade blogs doing my Blast From the Past thing on the record label that he founded, St ... More >>
Kids seem horrible these days. Probably because their parents are getting too high to raise them correctly.So much so that four students at a Tampa Bay-area middle school raped a 13-year-old flag-football teammate with a broomstick in a school locker room before a game in April.Let's ho ... More >>
Riptide put up somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 posts this year, so before we get started on writing 3,000 more it's time to sit back and look at some our successes: Our top ten posts by pageviews.Yeah, it's a collection of slightly seedy stuff, with abortion doughnuts, rape tunnels, and XXXra ... More >>
The most effective and frequent bit in Marco Rubio's senate campaign ads: that picture of Republican rival Charlie Crist embracing Barack Obama at a rally for the president's stimulus plan. Of course, every Republican Governor ended up accepting money from the stimulus plan, including your mor ... More >>
via The White HouseCertain wingnuts think President Obama was born in Africa? Have they ever thought he might actually be European? First he tries and brings small bits of "socialism" that have been hall mark of many healthy, European democracies for decade, then he tries to shove soccer down our th ... More >>
Calvin Godfrey Alan Rigerman with Chaos, his cougar Following the publication of Cat People, Alan Rigerman’s star has risen tenfold. And by that, we mean, he made it on a Spanish-language morning show, Despierta America. He brought his cougar, a lizard and Anthony, a masseuse in-tr ... More >>
Arena football and the Miami Hooters -- more than just a game