Tampa Bay

The Meters Are Coming

Tragic: Crash Kills Hispanic Activist Outside Freedom Center After Awards Ceremony

Last Thursday, a gray Toyota Tundra was driving west on NE 6th Street next to the Freedom Tower when it slammed full-speed into a southbound, red Honda CRV on Biscayne Boulevard.via Wikimedia CommonsThe truck spun out and skidded onto the sidewalk in front of the Freedom Center. Two women stood in i ... More >>

Cat People Get, Well, Catty

Last Thursday, a gray Toyota Tundra was driving west on NE 6th Street next to the Freedom Tower when it slammed full-speed into a southbound, red Honda CRV on Biscayne Boulevard.via Wikimedia CommonsThe truck spun out and skidded onto the sidewalk in front of the Freedom Center. Two women stood in i ... More >>

Warren Isn't the Only Buffett Who Supports Barack

Last Thursday, a gray Toyota Tundra was driving west on NE 6th Street next to the Freedom Tower when it slammed full-speed into a southbound, red Honda CRV on Biscayne Boulevard.via Wikimedia CommonsThe truck spun out and skidded onto the sidewalk in front of the Freedom Center. Two women stood in i ... More >>

Amazing, Someone is Actually Protesting The Crist Wedding

Riptide works on a self imposed quota system, and in order to meet our goals we have to make at least one "Charlie Crist is gay" joke a week. So it was only natural when reporting on Charlie Crist's upcoming nuptials to lay it on thick, especially while we were still fuming from the travesty of Amen ... More >>

The Confederate Flag Has Us Thinking About Secession

Sometimes I forget that technically Florida is a southern state, with Confederate heritage and all. It seems like the closer you get to the southern beaches the less and less red the necks are. This is probably because all of Hick-America would much rather spend their money on diamond-encrusted truc ... More >>

Local Is As Local Does

Miami could take a rock lesson or two

New Restaurant at the Hyatt Regency

The Hyatt Regency Miami, which underwent a $20 million dollar renovation last year, has unveiled its' new Pure Verde restaurant. Executive chef Michael Morris will be in charge of the snazzily-designed venue, which just months ago was a dull, aging sports bar. Morris, who previously helmed Hyatt pro ... More >>

On the List - XXXChange, VNDLSM, Little Louie Vega and Yo! Majesty

Should we be worrying, ya'll? Economy is going to shit. Let's hope Obama fixes things soon after he gives Bush the boot from the White House next week. Until then, there shall be more drinking and partying to forget we are on the verge of going broke.Here is what you'll want to check out this weeken ... More >>

Nudists Save Lingerie Bowl

Well, those prudes in Tampa got their way, and the Lingerie Bowl won't be tainting their apparently pure city. Instead a nudist resort in Pasco County stepped in and saved the day. The joint is appropriately called the Caliente Clothing Optional Resort, which should fair well for the Miami Caliente ... More >>

Tampa Mayor Might Jump into Senate Race

With 22 months left before the election, there are still plenty of surprises left in this Senate race. The latest of which is that Tampa Mayor Pam Iorio told the Tampa Bay Tribune she's considering running in the Democratic primary:"It was not something I was considering when there was a possibilit ... More >>

News Roundup

The University of Miami is not immune to the recession. President Shalala outlines a contingency plan for the next to years aimed at lowering spending. The school has had a hiring freeze in place since December, but Shalala promises no large layoffs. [Hurricane]The School Board approved a plan to cu ... More >>

Half the Distance to the Bustline

Arena football and the Miami Hooters -- more than just a game

Legislators Looking to Beef Up Protections Against Dating Violence

For most of us, our psycho-ex's biggest offenses are sending locks of their hair in the mail, leaving 20 minutes long voice mails with self-penned poetry, or posting Photoshop manipulations of what our kids might look like on our Facebook walls long after we've broken up. Unfortunately though many h ... More >>

Fins Pre-Season Announced

The Dolphins Pre-Season scheduled was announced today, and they won't be playing teams from that far away. They'll match up against the two other Florida franchises, Carolina and New Orleans. The exact dates aren't set in stone, but this gives you a general idea. Aug. 14-18 ... vs. Jacksonville at ... More >>

Obama Announces High Speed Rail Plan, Including a Line in Florida

via The White HouseCertain wingnuts think President Obama was born in Africa? Have they ever thought he might actually be European? First he tries and brings small bits of "socialism" that have been hall mark of many healthy, European democracies for decade, then he tries to shove soccer down our th ... More >>

Sassed and Fury-ous

via The White HouseCertain wingnuts think President Obama was born in Africa? Have they ever thought he might actually be European? First he tries and brings small bits of "socialism" that have been hall mark of many healthy, European democracies for decade, then he tries to shove soccer down our th ... More >>

The Citrus Circuit Tour Is Juicy

And it's swinging through South Florida.

Charlie Crist Will Ask Just About Anyone To Fill Out a Senate Application

​Gov. Charlie Crist has asked yet another round of former politicians to fill out applications for Senate. When will this end? When every Republicans to ever hold public office in Florida has submitted answers to Charlie Crist's questionnaire. The latest round includes Former U.S. Reps. Mike ... More >>

Marco Rubio May Not Have Hugged Obama, but He Would Have Taken His Stimulus Money

The most effective and frequent bit in Marco Rubio's senate campaign ads: that picture of Republican rival Charlie Crist embracing Barack Obama at a rally for the president's stimulus plan. Of course, every Republican Governor ended up accepting money from the stimulus plan, including your mor ... More >>

Riptide's Ten Most Popular Posts of 2009

Riptide put up somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 posts this year, so before we get started on writing 3,000 more it's time to sit back and look at some our successes: Our top ten posts by pageviews.Yeah, it's a collection of slightly seedy stuff, with abortion doughnuts, rape tunnels, and XXXra ... More >>

Lingerie Bowl Set for Seminole Hard Rock Casino, Miami Caliente Still in Playoff Hunt

Well, there's one Miami football team that's still in the playoff hunt: the Lingerie Football League's Miami Caliente. With a 2-1 record and an upcoming game against the Tampa Bay Breeze, the Caliente could find themselves in Lingerie Bowl VII. Unlike last year's debacle in Tampa Bay, South Florida ... More >>

Senator Storms Warns Against Evil Locker Room Sexting

​Kids seem horrible these days. Probably because their parents are getting too high to raise them correctly.So much so that four students at a Tampa Bay-area middle school raped a 13-year-old flag-football teammate with a broomstick in a school locker room before a game in April.Let's ho ... More >>

Joey Porter and His Mouth Fired by the Dolphins

Derf​Joey Porter's contract has been terminated by the Miami Dolphins. This comes after Porter's very public two-week campaign demanding that the Fins either play him as a full-time starter or let him go.Late last month, Porter went on a media rampage, making stops on ESPN and WQAM, complaining of ... More >>

The Damon Fowler Group

Derf​Joey Porter's contract has been terminated by the Miami Dolphins. This comes after Porter's very public two-week campaign demanding that the Fins either play him as a full-time starter or let him go.Late last month, Porter went on a media rampage, making stops on ESPN and WQAM, complaining of ... More >>

Charlie Crist Hints at Vetoing Controversial Abortion Bill

via The Glow Box​When news broke that Charlie Crist would run for Senate as an independent, it was speculated that he'd spend the rest of his term as governor issuing a few controversial vetoes that would separate him from the Republican party. He already did so with the education bill, and is now ... More >>

How to Listen to Steve Harvey's Morning Show Now That 103.5 the Beat is Dead

​While stations like 99 Jamz and Power 96 got all the shine in the urban/rhythmic/party music broadcasting wars, contender 103.5 the Beat quietly cultivated its own devoted following. The station's slogan for a time was "Grown and Sexy ... And Loving It!" and its programming and on-air banter refl ... More >>

Charlie Crist Caught Looking at Real Female's Ass

​When we first saw it, we so desperately wanted to show you this picture of our governor, Charlie Crist, looking at the be-thonged buttocks of a lady on Miami Beach yesterday, but, you know, copyrights and all of that. But here now is a fair-use thumbnail of the cover of tbt* (*Tampa Bay Time ... More >>

Blast From the Past: The Pink Lincolns - Sumo Fumes 2

​Pink Lincolns - Sumo Fumes 2 (Stiff Pole Records) www.stiffpolerecords.com In honor of Richard "Big Stiff" Konwinski, who passed this past July in Tampa, I'll be juggling between the County Grind and Crossfade blogs doing my Blast From the Past thing on the record label that he founded, St ... More >>

Lost Your License Driving Drunk? Florida Store Has A 'DUI Scooter' For You

photo by Gerry Thomasen via wikimedia commons​After watching one too many sad bastards who'd lost their licenses to a DUI come wandering into his scooter shop, Doug Vitello had a brilliant idea: What if he could sell them a low-speed bike that could get them to work or the probation office?Thanks ... More >>

The Origins of DJ Kitty Are a Mysterious Thing

When we first heard of the mystical being that is the Tampa Bay Ray's DJ Kitty we gave maybe a little too much praise to the team's marketing department. Turns out that the in-stadium video of a DJing cat that went viral was actually the idea of the team's players. Besides that thought little is kno ... More >>

Florida Couple Buys Real Human Skeleton at Garage Sale

​After all of this, when we're put in the ground and we slowly decompose eventually all that will be left is our bones. So how much are those worth? Apparently the going rate on the Florida garage sale market is 8 bucks. That's how much a Florida couple paid for what turned out to be a real skelet ... More >>

Miami: Ninth Dumbest City in America

via Natalie Dee​No one has any pretensions that Miami is an intellectual hotbed, but are we dumb? Like so dumb when someone is drowning and asks for a lifesaver we ask, "Cherry or grape?" Like so dumb when someone says they're "pushing weight" we think they've got dumbbells in a stroller? Like so ... More >>

NFL Is Too Soft For the Rest Of the World

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the NFL's crackdown on helmet-to-helmet hits.The No Fun League needs to stop fining defensive players for helme ... More >>

Lingerie Football Brawl: Miami Caliente Games Ends in Fisticuffs

​We can debate the merits of the Lingerie Football league all we want, but there's no question that the competition is real. This Friday's game between the Miami Caliente and the Tampa Bay Breeze erupted in straight up fisticuffs. Wait, with the Dolphins stuck in permanent suck and the Hurricanes ... More >>

Lingerie Football Brawl: Miami Caliente Game Ends in Fisticuffs

​We can debate the merits of the Lingerie Football league all we want, but there's no question that the competition is real. This Friday's game between the Miami Caliente and the Tampa Bay Breeze erupted in straight up fisticuffs. Wait, with the Dolphins stuck in permanent suck and the Hurricanes ... More >>

What Does Charlie Crist Do Now?

Former-Governor Charlie Crist ​This morning was the first morning in four years when Floridians woke up to someone other than Charlie Crist as our governor. Florida's favorite flip-flopper passed up what would likely be an easy re-election for his doomed independent senate bid, and now he's out of ... More >>

No, 70 People Were Not Trapped in an Airport Hangar Due to Central Florida's Crazy Weather

via Bay News 9​It's in the 80s and perfectly sunny here in Miami, but our state-mates in the central part of Florida aren't enjoying the same good weather. An apparent tornado that ripped through Tampa has left many areas in Central Florida in disarray. But a report carried by numerous national me ... More >>

Miami's Lingerie Football Team Has Folded

​Their existence was as brief as their uniforms. The Lingerie Football League's Miami Caliente (which was technically the best professional football team in town over the past two years -- it actually made the playoffs) appears to have quietly folded. The Juice reports their website is gone, ... More >>

Tampa Boy Kicked Out of Class for Wearing High Heels

​Any woman who has wobbled in stilettos knows it takes a real man to walk a day in high heels, but apparently a Florida high school won't stand for any light gender-bending in its halls. A male student at Riverview High School was sent to the principal's office not because of his own behavior, but ... More >>

Florida Marlins Not First Baseball Players To Be Spooked By Ghosts At St. Petersburg's Vinoy Hotel

"That voice just now-- what was it?"​We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.

Miami Dolphins Are the 13th Most Popular NFL Team, Highest Ranking in Years

Despite the weekly disaster show on the field, the Miami Dolphins are at their highest level of popularity in years. That's according to a Harris Interactive poll that ranks the 32 NFL teams from America's most favorite to least. The Dolphins are America's 13th favorite team. Unlucky number as ... More >>

Rick Scott on the Occupy Movement: "I'm Glad People Come Out and Tell Us What They Think"

Even though the Occupy Wall Street movement entering its second month, and similar protests popping up around the globe, most politicians are remaining mum. Those of the Republican variety, in most cases, have been pretty flippant. Take Herman Cain's "if you don't have a job and you're not rich, bla ... More >>

Miami Voted Best City for Adult Halloween Parties, Most Dangerous for Trick-or-Treaters

photo by Justin NamonYeah, Halloween here tends to be NSFK​Who says Halloween is a kids' holiday? Certainly not local residents.If you're an adult looking to dress up in a skimpy costume and gorge yourself on some spiked witch's brew then Miami is the city for you. Though, if you're a kid in town ... More >>

Rick Scott Is Spending the Day Working at the Port of Miami

An excuse to use this image again? Yes, please. ​As part of his "Let's Get to Work" publicity stunt, Florida Governor Rick Scott will be spending the day working at the Port of Miami. Scott was spotted in a hardhat, orange vest and work gloves at the port early this morning, and will spend time wo ... More >>

Florida County May Use Tax Dollars to Attract Nude European Tourists

​Miami-Dade County may soon get some stiff competition in attracting naked tourists. Pasco County, located just north of Tampa Bay, is considering using tax dollars to actively promote its numerous nudist resorts to rich European travelers looking to expose every last inch of their skin to the war ... More >>

Red Hot Chili Peppers Postpone 2012 US Tour, Reschedule South Florida Gig

​Being the frontman of one of the biggest bands on the planet can be a real pain in the sesamoid bone and flexor tendon. Just ask Red Hot Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis. The porn 'stachioed rocker recently underwent surgery to treat a bum foot, the result of "multiple" injuries. And regrettably, ... More >>

State Senator Cites Chris Rock Joke in Gambling Debate by Claiming Tampa is the Strip Club Capital of the World

​"People do not go to South Beach to see Mickey Mouse. They just don't," said state Sen. Ellyn Bogdanoff (R-Ft. Lauderdale) yesterday during a debate on her bill that would bring casinos to South Florida. "They go there for different reasons. We have the strip club capital of the world in Tampa. I ... More >>

No Loves' Jim Putney Talks Stiff Pole Records, Rock 'N' Roll America and Churchill's Pub

No Loves' Jim Putney yearns for a rock 'n' roll America.​We may not have known it then. But Florida in the 1990s was a bonafide punk rock factory. Down in South Florida, labels like Starcrunch, 4 and Half Finger Records, and Far Out were pressing soon-to-be classics by the Stun Guns, Chickenhead ... More >>

Pythons May Have Eaten All the Rabbits in the Everglades

via UFL.edu​Peter Cottontail's Florida cousin is no longer hopping down any bunny trails in the Everglades. That's because he was eaten by a python.A new study says that rabbits may have been completely eliminated from areas of the Everglades where invasive snake populations are the most heavy. Bo ... More >>