Tallahassee

Smoke Pot Now, Tallahassee

Booze Bills Could Help Florida's Craft Alcohol Industry

Florida Legislature's Weirdest Bills of 2013

Miami-Dade Commission Gives Support to Dolphins' Stadium Upgrade Proposal in Non-Binding Vote

The Miami-Dade County Commission has now officially put its stamp of approval on the Miami Dolphin's plan to seek tax money to provide upgrades to the aging Sun Life Stadium. Only four of the thirteen commissioners voted against the measure.

It May Soon Be Illegal to Get a Massage at Night in Florida

Hopefully you don't have a midnight massage habit, because the state of Florida may limit the hours massage therapists cab work from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. The bill recently passed a state House subcommittee, and if the whole House passes the law, it could go into effect as soon as October 1.

Mansion: Private Dinners For Pretty Girls, Weird Food

Ever wondered who the first people in the club are and how they got there? Maybe they had dinner next door and after one too many drinks, needed a place to let loose and burn off all the calories they just consumed.Or maybe they had dinner and drinks in the club. This is a trend we've been seeing. D ... More >>

Get Wasted for $10 In Tallahassee

To the surprise of many Miamians -- the confines of Florida stretch above and beyond the 305. And while the rest of the Sunshine State might be a little more, ahem, rural, than we're used to, other cities do have their unique charms. Take Tallahassee, for example. Our illustrious state capital, al ... More >>

It Will Soon Be Legal to Dye Baby Chicks Any Color You Want in Florida

What the hell happens up in Tallahassee sometimes? Seriously?See, the apparently powerful dog grooming lobby convinced our elected officials to take time out of their busy legislative session to lift an old ban on dying live animals. They were actually successful, but the ban now means that the cont ... More >>

Fathers Are Allowed to Slap Teen Daughters on the Ass, Rules Florida Appeals Court

​A three-judge panel from Florida's 1st District Court of Appeal has upheld the right of Florida's fathers to slap their teenage daughters on the ass without fear of facing domestic violence charges. The ruling overturned an earlier judgement from a Tallahassee judge, who granted a domestic violen ... More >>

Log Cabin Nursery, Miami Beach Haven For Developmentally Disabled, To Close Due to State Cuts

​ We knew that Tallahassee's recent $500-million-plus slashing to Medicaid reimbursements would have some pretty dire consequences. Unfortunately, a 35-year-old Miami Beach institution that serves as a second home for dozens of developmentally disabled adults is acting as the canary in the c ... More >>

Floridians Are Still Free to Blast Their Car Stereos However Damn Loud They Please

​The right to blast your crappy music through your car stereo at top volume while driving down the road with minimal repercussions is a right that many Miamians hold dear and regularly exercise. But recently some politicians in Tallahassee wanted to strip us of this basic freedom. Thankfully, the ... More >>

Tallahassee Is America's Pot-Smoking Capital, Miami Isn't Even On the List

​Tallahassee is not only the political capital of Florida, but also apparently the pot-smoking capital of America. Surprisingly, Miami, most often associated with drugs, doesn't even make the Daily Beast's list of Mary Jane-loving cities. Then again, maybe it's not much of a surprise that college ... More >>

Censored license plates you won't see on the road

You Won't Believe What Floridians Have Tried To Put On Their Personalized License Plates

​Once every six weeks or so, a small, sober group of bureaucrats and cops gathers in a conference room in Tallahassee. Members of the group synch their iPhones to urbandictionary.com, bone up on the latest texting slang, and then laugh their asses off for an hour or two. They're the License Plate ... More >>

Miami fails to make list of top pot-smoking cities

Wrong: Miami Left Out of Top 40 Pot-Smoking Cities

Local pride took another hit today. Fresh off that embarrassing #4 party school ranking from Playboy, a Web site run by a white British blonde reports Miami is not one of the country's top 40 pot-smoking cities. ​ Tina Brown's The Daily Beast compiled a list of America's most stoned cities in hon ... More >>

Florida Tea Baggers: Day Healthcare Reform Passed Was "One of the Darkest Days Since 9/11"

​A bunch of tea baggers held a rally on the steps of the Florida capitol up in Tallahassee today, and politicians including Lt. Gov. Jeff Kottkamp came out and spoke to them while standing by a podium made to look like two crates stamped with the word "Tea."Naked Politics reports that one of the s ... More >>

Free Cheetos!

Do Democrats Finally Have a Florida CFO Candidate?

​Considering the chief financial officer job is the only statewide position up for re-election in 2010 that the Democrats currently hold, they should be eager to keep it. But with CFO Alex Sink running for governor, no big-name Dem has stepped forward to run. In fact, the only one who has reg ... More >>

FSU Women's Basketball Team: Victim of Horrible Stylist, Possibly Sexism and Homophobia

​The FSU Women's Basketball Team's website looks more like a prom scrapbook than a site for a high-ranked athletic program. Unsurprisingly, it's raising some eyebrows.The new campaign, put together by Ron Sachs Communications (which does a lot of business in Tallahassee), features the team posing ... More >>

Can You Smell What Fall is Cooking?

Head Spins: DJ David Solano

A house-kicking Colombiano.

News Roundup

LocalWhoops, cutting a deal with the black community sounded look a smooth move for Marlins Stadium supporters, but turns out it is unconstitutional. [Herald]The suitcase trial ended with a four year prison sentence for a Venezuelan businessman. [BBC]Here is a story about Puppies ...that die. It is ... More >>

The Week That Was

The Herald started out its week on various death lists, cut 175 people (including one on her birthday), and left people questioning whether Miami will even have a daily paper anymore. Meanwhile, one of the paper's more infamous famous employees landed a job, because there is no justice in the world. ... More >>

Yes, Those Are Slaves On The Steps of The Florida Capitol Today

If you happen to wander by the Capitol on your daily stroll around Tallahassee today, yes, that is in fact a truck full of farm workers being beaten into unpaid slave labor right on the steps of the Florida Legislature.New Times photoHaitian farm workers in HomesteadA few months after the latest sla ... More >>

State Sen. Frederica Wilson Hopes To Move Her Hat Collection to DC

Frederica Wilson and her extensive hat collection have pretty much done everything they can in Tallahassee. The Miami democrat has served in both houses of the State legislature, and now she's made it official that she'll be seeking the congressional seat Rep. Kendrick Meek is leaving behind in his ... More >>

Commissioners to Meet on Sex Offenders

It has been almost two years since New Times exposed a disturbing, state-mandated colony of sex offenders living under the Julia Tuttle Causeway. Since then, city commissioners have received dozens of angry letters, international news programs have aired footage, and the amount of banished men under ... More >>

Senate 2010: Kendrick Gets in Quick, Sink Still Has to Think

Miami boy Kendrick Meek became the first official announced candidate for the 2010 Senate race, sure to be one of the most dramatic in the nation. As expected, he announced it this morning, and used much of the same "This is about Florida" rhetoric we commented about earlier. He's not taking things ... More >>

State Lawmakers Pull an All-Nighter at the BCS

Things were really weird yesterday (Did you miss me? No? Oh,thanks.), and I ended up briefly at the Opa-locka Executive Airport before heading up to West Palm Beach, only to turn around and drive back to Miami. Anyway, the runway was busy with lots of bigwigs flying in for the BCS game. Bigwigs such ... More >>

Dems' "Empty Chair Charlie" Strategy Is Empty-Headed

Florida Dems, let us share a bit of well-known advice that helped your national party unseat a seemingly unbeatable Republican incumbent back in '92: It's the economy, stupid. After re-electing party chairwoman Karen Thurman this weekend, the state Democrats vowed to continue their crusade again ... More >>

Video: Dead Prez at Rock the Bells 2008

The Water's Fine!

Or is it? With the budget ax hovering, we might never know.

BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN

State Rep. Dan Gelber

Letters from the Issue of May 6, 2004

Tallahassee, tips, unsung musicians, and daughterly advice

Letters from the Issue of April 29, 2004

Madcap politicos, hungry crocodiles, and a prescription for the arts

Welcome to Fabulous Tallahassee

Where your humble state legislators work hard by day and play hard by night

Meet Mr. Arza

In four short years, state Rep. Ralph Arza has gone from schoolteacher to powerful politician, and now he's about to take control of public education in Miami

Flat Pigskin

Football classic not the same

Smaller Is Better

The case for breaking up the grossly dysfunctional Miami-Dade County school district

Barred for Life

The process for restoring the civil rights of felons in Florida works perfectly -- if not restoring their rights is the goal

The Carlos Lacasa File

Meet the most powerful politician you know nothing about

New World, Old Woes

The battle to restore funding for the New World School of the Arts is under way

The Children's Museum, Inc.

New Times gives a tour of the Miami Children's Museum and its corporate exhibitisements -- for kids of all ages!

Best Political Gamble

Governor's office sit-in

Best Uniforms

Toll takers

The Doctor is Out

Beset by internecine battles, troubled leadership, and funding cuts, the local office of the Florida Department of Health is in need of intensive care.

A Major Bad Hair Day

Bleached scalps. Chipped nails. Rotten perms. If state officials deregulate the beauty industry, things could get ugly.

Jail Bait

Getting sprung from the slammer has never been easier, and the life of a Miami bail bondsman has never been tougher

Aviary Interesting

Egged on by a soaring Tallahassee following, Zombie Birdhouse flies in your face with invention