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Blogs
April 20, 2012
Snoop Dogg's Rolling Words Smokable Book and Four Other 4/20 Gifts for Stoners
There's no doubt that Snoop Dogg knows how to celebrate 4/20. But the rapper has decided to prove himself yet again. Snoop recently announced that he will be releasing a novel, Rolling Words: A Smokable Songbook. Yes, you read right. A regular book would be too boring. So if you want to smoke whi ... More >>
Blogs
March 13, 2012
Frito-Lay Helps Taco Bell Reinvent the Taco Shell, Tastes Like Beefy, Cheesy Doritos
After a successful test run in three American cities, Taco Bell last Thursday rolled out its newest menu item--Doritos Locos Tacos, a new crunchy taco with a shell made with Frito-Lay's nacho cheese-flavored Doritos chips and filled with beef, lettuce and shredded cheddar cheese.The Irvine-based ... More >>
Blogs
February 29, 2012
Man Stabbed for Mistaking Harmonicas for Tacos
Tacos are a delicious concoction of tortilla, meats and cheeses. Harmonicas are a bluesy free-reed wind instrument. It is best to never mix the two up. The consequences could be dire.
Blogs
February 14, 2012
Ten Foods To Avoid On Valentine's Day
Every year we say we're not going to celebrate Valentine's Day. After all, it makes singles feel bad for being single and couples feel worse for not being over-the-top romantics. Then we break down and buy candy hearts and make reservations for overpriced champagne dinners.Since you're probably l ... More >>
Blogs
February 10, 2012
Strip Joints and Taco Bell: Five Worst Places to Take a Date on Valentine's Day
We at Short Order take great pleasure in offering you the top options for Valentine's Day and the most affordable ones, too. But what we really get a kick out of is giving you the worst options - because those are often the most insane, hilarious, and outright brilliant.We don't discourage doing ... More >>
Blogs
January 5, 2012
Pitbull's "Niggas in Paris" Remix: YouTubers React Via Nasty, Negative Comments
Pitbull dropped his directorial debut video for "Latinos in Paris" last week and somehow managed to slip under our Google Alert radar. Together with Dominican rapper Sensato, Armando Perez can be seen bilingual rapping 'round the City of Lights, popping bottles at relevant Parisian nightclubs, ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2011
Weird Florida News This Year: Floridians Have Broken All Seven Cardinal Sins
Miami may be some sort of strange Banana Republican in and of itself, but, man, the rest of Florida makes us look positively sane in comparison. When Vice magazine called it "a violent, dong-shaped netherworld" earlier this year they weren't over-exaggerating. In fact, in 2011 Riptide inauguratio ... More >>
Blogs
December 9, 2011
Beet Reporter Hustled into Breaking Vegan Diet with $2 Taco Bell Burrito
As I stood in line at a Taco Bell on NE 36th Street and Biscayne Boulevard, I was not comfortable or hopeful. It had been a long time since I'd been in a fast food joint, and the proximity of all the nutritionally bankrupt white flour tortillas, preservative-packed foodstuffs, and grade D meat ... More >>
Blogs
October 10, 2011
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell
Tacos are not recognized as legal forms of identification in the state of Florida [insert bad joke about immigration laws here]. Matthew Falkner found out the hard way after he passed out drunk in the drive-thru of a Jensen Beach Taco Bell and his car caught fire [insert bad joke about Taco Bell' ... More >>
Music
October 6, 2011
Das Racist at Grand Central October 9
Tacos are not recognized as legal forms of identification in the state of Florida [insert bad joke about immigration laws here]. Matthew Falkner found out the hard way after he passed out drunk in the drive-thru of a Jensen Beach Taco Bell and his car caught fire [insert bad joke about Taco Bell' ... More >>
Blogs
October 3, 2011
Das Racist Scarfs Fast Food, Mangles Mikes, and Makes Fun of Michael Jackson
Photo by Bek AndersenIn the hot-as-balls summer of 2009, three dudes from New York City -- rappers Himanshu "Heems" Suri and Victor "Kool A.D." Vazquez, and hype guy Ashok "Dapwell" Kondabolu -- banded together under the vaguely ominous moniker Das Racist, made some beats, spit some rhymes, smok ... More >>
Blogs
September 21, 2011
Florida's Fast-Food Rage: Two Decades of Grease-Fiending Violence and Insanity
Is there a pastime more Floridian than going completely nuts -- we mean Michael-Douglas-in-Falling-Down-apeshit -- when denied our favorite fast-food product?Florida luminary Terry Lynn Kimbell was really just carrying on a long tradition when he recently called 911 to complain that Tac ... More >>
Blogs
September 15, 2011
Drunk Florida Man Calls 911 Because Taco Bell Won't Serve Him Tacos
Terry Lynn Kimbell, 50, of Pinellas County, was in a classic conundrum Tuesday evening: He was drunk and wanted Taco Bell. But by that time of night, Taco Bell was serving its hot, meaty fast food only through the drive-thru, so he decided to walk through it. When employees refused to s ... More >>
Blogs
August 8, 2011
O'Grime's "#Planking On Yo Bitch" Video In Honor of National Plank Day
Plank! Plank! Plank!According to the ultimate authority on everything that matters (AKA Facebook), the entire United States of America (or 2,266 FB members) spent last Thursday celebrating National Plank Day. Organizer Dylan Pruitt encouraged "all you cool Planksters out there" to "planksafe," ... More >>
Blogs
July 7, 2011
BK Tops the Dollar Cheeseburger Derby
Spoiler alert: None of the burgers are this one.Ah, the dollar menu -- the primary source of sustenance for many a student and hobo. Each has its own strong points, but all that we visited had one thing in common: a cheeseburger. (For argument's sake, we are defining "burger" as any roll-ba ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2011
Listen Up Gov. Rick Scott: On Food Stamps? No Fast Food For You!
I don't think everyone on public assistance is a lazy bum, but I'm happy about the welfare drug-testing bill (the only move Rick Scott has made that I approve of). More importantly, I don't think food stamps should be used to buy fast food. So far, California, Michigan, and Arizona allow the ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
"Udonis Haslem," O'Grime, and Metro Zu Say: "F%$# the Mavericks, Bitch!"
A friendly message for the Mavs.The last time Crossfade got weird with the O'Grime boys, we bumrushed a Taco Bell, scrubbed ourselves down with Mexican meat, and wasted $400 on 15 minutes with a stripper slathered in nacho cheese. In a word, it was awesome. And really, there's only one scenario ... More >>
Blogs
February 1, 2011
Big Mac Vs. Whopper: Which Bun Contains More Crap?
It just isn't fair that Taco Bell is getting all the free press these days concerning integrity of ingredients -- or lack thereof. Granted, nobody is accusing McDonald's or Burger King of faking beef content, but what about the other stuff that goes between the buns? The sauce lathered upon B ... More >>
Blogs
January 26, 2011
Taco Bell Hit With Lawsuit: Can Its Beef Be Legally Called Beef?
Where's The Beef?The Sun Sentinel reported yesterday that a California woman, Amanda Obney, has brought a false-advertising lawsuit against Taco Bell for calling its products "seasoned ground beef or seasoned beef" -- when, the suit declares, "in fact a substantial amount of the filling contains ... More >>
Blogs
January 25, 2011
Top Five Reasons Taco Bell Might Actually Be More Dangerous Than MTV's Skins
MTV's latest series Skins aired its first episode last week (and its second last night) to the tune of a whole lot of controversy. From CNN to MSNBC to the friggin' Today Show, comparisons likening the show to "child pornography" and claiming it's "like peer pressure on steroids" have been swirl ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2011
Japanese McDonald's Introduces "Miami Burger" Which is Actually a Taco Burger
McDonald's "Miami Burger."You're driving home from South Beach over the Julia Tuttle Causeway after a long night out, and once you get to Biscayne, you're struck with a dreaded choice: Do you want to make a late-night meal of McDonald's burger or Taco Bell's tacos?It is a decision that racks us a ... More >>
News
December 23, 2010
A Posner family Christmas card
McDonald's "Miami Burger."You're driving home from South Beach over the Julia Tuttle Causeway after a long night out, and once you get to Biscayne, you're struck with a dreaded choice: Do you want to make a late-night meal of McDonald's burger or Taco Bell's tacos?It is a decision that racks us a ... More >>
Blogs
December 17, 2010
Top Ten Christmas Gifts for the Broke-Ass Musician
Photo by Lorri AuerGift No. 1: Your broke-ass musician needs new socks in a serious way.Are you a broke-ass? Well, Rock Kulture-Miami is throwing a very special party tonight at Vinyl & Kai just for people like you. It's called I'm Broke and It's Almost Xmas Rock-N-Art Show.The ... More >>
Blogs
December 7, 2010
Tonight: The Alibi Celebrates One Year of Serving Greasy Late-Night Bites
Photo by Natalia MolinaThe Alibi's black board.You're drunk and hungry. There is always Taco Bell, but even though you are an incoherent mess, you're still a foodie. So for you there is the Alibi, the small counter service inside South Beach's Lost Weekend. The menu features Philly cheese steaks, ... More >>
Blogs
August 11, 2010
Plato Royale: Battle of Chicken Tacos -- Taco Bell vs. Latin Burger and Taco
The people at Taco Bell are again thinking outside the bun. With their new cantina tacos, the creators of the "fourth meal" are attempting to beef up their over-Americanized menu with their take on taco truck goods.The cantina options are described in a Taco Bell press release as "fre ... More >>
News
June 24, 2010
These lucky Chihuahuas made it big
The people at Taco Bell are again thinking outside the bun. With their new cantina tacos, the creators of the "fourth meal" are attempting to beef up their over-Americanized menu with their take on taco truck goods.The cantina options are described in a Taco Bell press release as "fre ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2010
They Might Be Tiny, But These Lucky Dogs Sure Made It Big
When we saw that the Wall Street Journal whipped up a stipple portrait of Conchita, the Ginger-wig-wearing Chihuahua that belonged to the late Miami socialite Gail Posner, Banana Republican got to thinking what a grand life these little bug-eyed rat-dogs lead. So we compiled a list of the five mo ... More >>
Blogs
December 16, 2009
Taco Bell 79 Cent Crispy Potato Soft Taco Review
Jacob KatelThe Crispy Potato Soft Taco as eaten on Biscayne Bay.We once heard a comedian say all Mexican food was pretty much the same ingredients put together under different names. For example, what are nachos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are tacos? Umm ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2009
FFF: Fast Food, Tuna, and Turkey Bologna
I was just walking down the street, and I saw this restaurant called McDonald's Express. Let's see if we can try to wrap our brains around this concept -- this is a McDonald's, only faster. So, obviously, the McDonald's corporation thinks there are people out there saying to themselves, 'God, I'd ... More >>
Blogs
October 6, 2009
Update: Miami Cops Looking for Suspect in Early-Morning Taco Rage Shooting
Around 3:40 this morning, a 20-something black man in a white SUV rolled up to the Taco Bell at NE 79th Street and Sixth Avenue with a serious jones for some cheese and refried beans.via Wikimedia CommonsBig problem: The Taco Bell had already shut down for the night. When the man rolled up t ... More >>
Calendar
September 24, 2009
The Upper West Side Meets the Upper Room
Around 3:40 this morning, a 20-something black man in a white SUV rolled up to the Taco Bell at NE 79th Street and Sixth Avenue with a serious jones for some cheese and refried beans.via Wikimedia CommonsBig problem: The Taco Bell had already shut down for the night. When the man rolled up t ... More >>
Blogs
July 23, 2009
Taco Bell Dog Dead, Top 5 Messages From Beyond The Grave
So the Taco Bell dog is dead...supposedly. Here are Gidget's top 5 messages from beyond the grave in this ghostly Short Order exclusive. Enjoy.
Blogs
July 21, 2009
America's Most Wanted Recipes in Miami
image via simonandschuster.comAmerica's Most Wanted Recipes takes a simple precept, that people love mass produced corporate formula food, and exploits it. You gotta give credit to author Ron Douglas who has been profiting off our shackles to the chains through his website RecipeSecrets.net since 20 ... More >>
News
May 14, 2009
Doors and Legs Open
How to handle an "open" relationship.
Blogs
March 23, 2009
Adopt-a-Taco
Eat a taco and save this cat (or one like it).Celebrations begin at 5:30 p.m. April 16 for the grand opening of Lime Fresh Mexican Grill's Midtown Miami location (3201 N. Miami Ave.). Free beer samples from Dos XX will be on tap. There will be complimentary hors d'oeuvres, cocktails and, tacos, and ... More >>
Calendar
March 19, 2009
Turn the Tables on Poor Design
Eat a taco and save this cat (or one like it).Celebrations begin at 5:30 p.m. April 16 for the grand opening of Lime Fresh Mexican Grill's Midtown Miami location (3201 N. Miami Ave.). Free beer samples from Dos XX will be on tap. There will be complimentary hors d'oeuvres, cocktails and, tacos, and ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2009
Slave Grown Tomatoes - Happy New Year From Immokalee
If you buy your tomatoes at a major supermarket or eat at McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell or Subway, then you may well be biting into the blood-and-sweat product of forced- labor-induced plantation agriculture, a.k.a. slavery, from the fields of Immokalee, where crack-cocaine meets whips and chain ... More >>
News
December 11, 2008
Toga Party
The White Party bash at Vizcaya might have been the year's wildest celebration. But the talk was deadly serious.
Music
March 15, 2007
Lily Allen
Alright, Still (Capitol)
Music
September 28, 2006
Electric Six and the Blue Van
Alright, Still (Capitol)
Calendar
March 23, 2006
Latino Arts Afire
Alright, Still (Capitol)
Music
April 7, 2005
New Pollution
Beck's new Guero is okay, but it ain't no Odelay
Dining
January 16, 2003
Car Food Survival: Altoids?
Hey, those almost-empty water bottles and mints may go a long way someday
Dining
May 23, 2002
Fish Tacos, Si!
Finally the Baja's delicious specialty has migrated to the Florida straits
Restaurants
May 17, 2001
Best Funky Neighborhood Restaurant
Delicias del Mar Peruano
Music
May 17, 2001
Best Local Latin Rock Band
Bacilos
Finest Foods
May 11, 2000
Best Fajita
La Gloria Taqueria Mexicana
Calendar
October 1, 1998
Night & Day
October 1 - 7, 1998
News
March 5, 1998
News of the Weird
October 1 - 7, 1998
Music
January 26, 1995
Rotations 41
October 1 - 7, 1998
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