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Blogs
March 19, 2012
Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up
So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Will Stephen Ross Prevail in Landing Peyton Manning for Miami?
Since taking control of the Miami Dolphins, team owner Stephen Ross has set his eye on a lot of things.He wanted a superstar coach with head coaching experience. He got an unproven offensive coordinator. He wants a Super Bowl. All he's got is a first-round playoff exit. He wants public cash for a ... More >>
Blogs
February 16, 2012
Miami Heat's All-Time Record at .500 for First Time in Team History
Remember when the Miami Heat sucked? Good golly, did they suck. This was a team so horrible they didn't get a single win until the 18th game of their inaugural 1988-89 season. In fact, the team's all-time record had never been above .500. Yep, when taking into consideration every single regular-s ... More >>
Blogs
February 10, 2012
Is Chad Ochocinco the Prince of the NFL?
We don't mean "prince," as in "heir to the throne." (Though that would be awesome -- imagine how the game would be played under NFL Commissioner Ochocinco.) We mean Prince, as in "Party Like It's 1999," Purple Rain, and that un-pronounceable symbol that earned him so much ridicule back in the day ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Who Should Miamians Root for in the Super Bowl: The Patriots or the Giants?
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Calendar
December 15, 2011
On Wings of Poop
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Calendar
November 24, 2011
Desperate Dolphins
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Calendar
November 17, 2011
A Paragon of Pigskin
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Blogs
August 8, 2011
Is It Too Late to Smoke Ricky Williams Out Before He Leaves for the Baltimore Ravens?
This past June, Ricky Williams said he wanted to finish his career by winning a Super Bowl with the Dolphins. Yet the team's moves this off-season showed it had little interest in keeping Williams (or winning a Super Bowl, judging by the handling of the QB situation), and the onetime Pro Bowl MVP ... More >>
Blogs
June 16, 2011
Fontainebleau Valet Accused of Stealing Saints Linebacker's Super Bowl Ring
The New Orleans Saints won their first Super Bowl rings in Miami back in 2009, and one member of the team almost lost his here, too.Saints linebacker Stanley Arnoux left his 2008 championship ring in his vehicle when he valeted his car at the Fontainebleau resort in Miami Beach on Memorial Day We ... More >>
News
April 28, 2011
Dave Duerson's secret life and tragic end
The New Orleans Saints won their first Super Bowl rings in Miami back in 2009, and one member of the team almost lost his here, too.Saints linebacker Stanley Arnoux left his 2008 championship ring in his vehicle when he valeted his car at the Fontainebleau resort in Miami Beach on Memorial Day We ... More >>
Blogs
March 23, 2011
Dave Duerson Folded an American Flag on His Bed Before Shooting Self
Dave Duerson propped a dining room chair against the front door of his Sunny Isles apartment. He neatly laid out documents on the dining room table and on his bed. He also placed two framed certificates, framed medals, and a folded American flag at the head of the bed. Naked except for a gold nec ... More >>
Blogs
March 9, 2011
Top Five Weird and Perverse Cheese Sculptures
via Flickr Joe ShlabotnikThe cheese lady. Today in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Sarah the Cheese Lady will present a monster cheddar cheese sculpture at Lambeau Field as a salute to the Super Bowl-winning Green Bay Packers and the United States National Cheese Championship.Ahhh, cheese. Just the word makes ... More >>
Blogs
February 8, 2011
Five Worst Miami Sports Songs Ever
via heat.comMascots are lame. Ditto sports songs.Lil Wayne's new joint, "Green and Yellow," is a love song dedicated to his favorite football team, the Green Bay Packers. In it, he threatens to cut a Steelers' hair off, "We knock the Eagles and the Falcons and the Bears off/Now we 'bout to cut Tr ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2011
Dan Marino Hates the Black Eyed Peas
The Pittsburgh Steelers may not have won the Super Bowl, but the real losers seems to have been the Black Eyes Peas. The questionably talented group helmed the halftime shows first foray back into Top 40 pop since Janet Jackson's affaire du nipple a few years back. They may have avoided wardrobe ... More >>
Blogs
February 4, 2011
Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Totally Sucked
Steven Tyler and Britney Spears ... That totally sucked.We know you're gearing up for the big game this Sunday. Maybe you're actually washing your Ben Rapistburger jersey for the first time all season, or polishing your cherished wedge of cheesehead. Whatever you're doing, you're getting pumped ... More >>
Blogs
February 1, 2011
Sol Kitchen Delivers Good Food For Your Super Bowl Party
Jessica Ramirez If you're having people over for the Super Bowl and want to feed them good food -- but don't feel like doing the work -- Sol Kitchen may be able to help. Owned by Steve Berry and chefs Kurtis Jantz and Chad Galiano, the company started offering food packages for ... More >>
Blogs
February 1, 2011
Sweetness Bakeshop Offers Two Limited-Edition Super Bowl Cupcake Flavors
We've been on the Sweetness Bakeshop trail for the past couple of weeks, since we discovered their awesome custom cakes and took a look at the rest of their store offerings. Cupcakes remain the most popular item at the shop -- especially because owner Stephanie Perez-Diaz and her partners keep ro ... More >>
Calendar
January 27, 2011
Dophin-Free Basketball
We've been on the Sweetness Bakeshop trail for the past couple of weeks, since we discovered their awesome custom cakes and took a look at the rest of their store offerings. Cupcakes remain the most popular item at the shop -- especially because owner Stephanie Perez-Diaz and her partners keep ro ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Tuna Melt
We've been on the Sweetness Bakeshop trail for the past couple of weeks, since we discovered their awesome custom cakes and took a look at the rest of their store offerings. Cupcakes remain the most popular item at the shop -- especially because owner Stephanie Perez-Diaz and her partners keep ro ... More >>
Blogs
September 20, 2010
Dolphins Defense Leads the Way in Big Win Over Vikings
Everyone had the Miami Dolphins going into Minnesota and getting their asses handed to them by Brett Favre and the Vikings. But when it came down to it, the Fins executed a simple two-part game plan against the supposed Super Bowl contenders to perfection. For the offense: No screw ups by Chad He ... More >>
Blogs
September 1, 2010
The Monday Night Football Guys Think Highly of the Miami Dolphins
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Calendar
July 8, 2010
Sacked by Fate
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Calendar
July 8, 2010
Sacked by Fate
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Calendar
July 8, 2010
Sacked by Fate
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Calendar
July 8, 2010
Sacked by Fate
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Blogs
February 23, 2010
Super Bowl Did Little to Bolster Miami's Image, Might Have Helped New Orleans More
The Dolphins might be cooking up various schemes to get South Florida taxpayers to foot the bill for the proposed makeover of Sunny D Sun O))) Sun Life Stadium so the city can host future Super Bowls, but a new study shows Miami didn't receive much of an image boost from the big game ev ... More >>
News
February 18, 2010
The Stripper Mobile rolled into Miami Super Bowl weekend, and no one noticed
The Dolphins might be cooking up various schemes to get South Florida taxpayers to foot the bill for the proposed makeover of Sunny D Sun O))) Sun Life Stadium so the city can host future Super Bowls, but a new study shows Miami didn't receive much of an image boost from the big game ev ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2010
More Americans Will Drink Milk Than Beer During Super Bowl Telecast
Lee KleinCan we possibly become any more disillusioned?From The Neilsen Co.: During the two weeks leading up to Super Bowl Sunday last year, Americans purchased 49.2 million cases of beer. More cases of beer were sold in the two week period prior to July 4th, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Father's Day ... More >>
Blogs
February 1, 2010
Video: South Beach Was Racist Once
It's not that long ago that Miami Beach was proud to be a racist entity. Segregation meant that by law the beach was only for whites. This week, South Beach will go insane with Super Bowl parties for everybody to enjoy, but don't forget what a fucked up place it used to be, and give thanks tha ... More >>
Blogs
January 26, 2010
Disco Rick Would Like to Clarify His Previous Statements Re: Sex in the Champagne Room
Last week, retired rapper and King of Diamonds strip club manager Ricky "Disco Rick" Taylor made it rain knowledge on the blogosphere's gyrating ass in anticipation of the Super Bowl, which he predicted will be "the biggest weekend in strip club history in South Florida." One of the Hypnotiq-s ... More >>
Blogs
January 25, 2010
Super Bowl Pits Kim Kardashian Against Kendra Wilkinson
You can't even host a Super Bowl in Miami anymore without it having some shallow reality teevee flair. Yes, two of the E! channel's favorite buxom bimbettes will almost assuredly be in the stands at Sun Life Stadium come February 7.That's because Saints star Reggie Bush has been notably tapping t ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2010
Pompano's French Quarter Bar & Grill Offers a Taste of New Orleans
Night Watch is a regular feature about bars and clubs by nightlife columnist Tara Nieuwesteeg. Here in sunny South Florida, we have the privilege of visiting the beach, with its white sands, surrounding palm trees, turquoise waters, and scantily-clad sunbathers every day of the year. But sometime ... More >>
Blogs
January 4, 2010
Lingerie Bowl Set for Seminole Hard Rock Casino, Miami Caliente Still in Playoff Hunt
Well, there's one Miami football team that's still in the playoff hunt: the Lingerie Football League's Miami Caliente. With a 2-1 record and an upcoming game against the Tampa Bay Breeze, the Caliente could find themselves in Lingerie Bowl VII. Unlike last year's debacle in Tampa Bay, South Florida ... More >>
Calendar
December 31, 2009
The Teal Curtain
Well, there's one Miami football team that's still in the playoff hunt: the Lingerie Football League's Miami Caliente. With a 2-1 record and an upcoming game against the Tampa Bay Breeze, the Caliente could find themselves in Lingerie Bowl VII. Unlike last year's debacle in Tampa Bay, South Florida ... More >>
Blogs
August 11, 2009
Which of These Miami Dolphins Songs Is More Embarrassing?
In hip-hop, Jay-Z is God, and since he declared Auto-Tune dead, we've hoped that would put a swift end to the career of professional Auto-Tune abuser T-Pain. (I will never understand how a musical technique pioneered by Cher became "gangsta.") Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross didn't get th ... More >>
Blogs
February 6, 2009
The Week That Was: Can They Hurry Up and Stimulate Us Already?
Here is your weekly wrap up of things that bravely dared to appear on Riptide this week. There was a Super Bowl this past weekend. Your Miami Dolphins team was not present, but perhaps they could have been if Wayne Huzienga hired Steelers coach Mike Tomlin instead of that Cam Cameron fellow. Though, ... More >>
Calendar
October 23, 2008
Party Like It’s 1993
The Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins renew their rivalry in a must-win game.
Blogs
April 1, 2008
Picking First Sucks
The Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins renew their rivalry in a must-win game.
Blogs
February 6, 2008
Dan Henning is the New Dolphins OC
The Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins renew their rivalry in a must-win game.
Music
January 31, 2008
Super Groups
Our fantasy draft for the Super Bowl halftime show.
Blogs
January 7, 2008
Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan
Our fantasy draft for the Super Bowl halftime show.
Blogs
December 26, 2006
I Hate the Jets
Our fantasy draft for the Super Bowl halftime show.
News
September 8, 2005
Draft This Dolphin!
It's new, it's cool, and Huizenga hates it
Music
May 12, 2005
BEST LOCAL RAP RELEASE OF THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS
"Let's Go"
Dining
November 22, 2001
Mon, That's Mixed
Chinese Rasta curry that's good to go
News
September 9, 1999
Con Kid
Jimmy Sabatino, self-described child of the Mafia, displayed a prodigious talent for confidence games even as a teenager. If he hadn't threatened to kill President Clinton, he'd probably be scamming today.
News
November 26, 1998
Of Gridirons and Gunshots
The Greater Miami Pop Warner Football League struggles to control itself
News
December 28, 1995
SHUMANJI
Welcome to the world of SHUMANJI(TM), a jungle adventure game in which you, the winningest coach in football history, face the toughest season of your career.
News
August 31, 1994
Psssst! Wanna Be a Judge?
Follow these ten simple steps and they'll be calling you "Your Honor" in no time!

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