Stephen Ross

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Blogs
December 29, 2008
Big Tuna Ready to Flee the Fins? For Detroit?!
So is Bill Parcells a masochist, or what? This is the guy who voluntarily went to work for borderline-psychotic Dallas owner Jerry Jones, who left a cushy retirement to take over the staggeringly awful 1-15 Dolphins. For all Riptide knows, he's got a side gig involving a rubber ball mouth-gag, a bas ... More >>
Blogs
January 20, 2009
Haha, Obama! Huizenga Rids Himself of Dolphins
You might remember Wayne Huizenga's pre-election whining about how he wanted to sell of his remaining stake in the Miami Dolphins before our new socialist dictator can personally tax the hell out of him. "He wants to double the capital gains tax, or almost double it. I'd rather give it to charity th ... More >>
Blogs
May 8, 2009
Wasting Away In Corporitaville: The Fins Sell Their Soul To Buffett
Ever wonder what it looks like to sell your soul?courtesy Miami DolphinsThis is what Jimmy Buffett has wrought.At Dolphin Stadium, it looks something like this: A white guy in a pink sombrero and plastic lei jerks to the grating jingle of "Margaritaville." Three young men covered head to waist in b ... More >>
Blogs
May 8, 2009
Neologism Friday
Harvard UniversityJump the Shark - Used to describe the moment when a TV show or other cultural phenomenon has outlived its usefulness or creative steam, e.g. Phil Hartman's death stalling NewsRadio.Land it in the Hudson - A sentiment of encouragement, usually given in the midst of a crisis, based o ... More >>
News
May 14, 2009
Welcome to LandShark Stadium, Miami
Dolphins pimp themselves out to Jimmy Buffett.
Blogs
May 15, 2009
Miami Team Owners Really Good at Being Really Bad
Miami sports fans may harbor passion for their teams, but there's no love lost between the fans and the moneybags who actually own the franchises. Maybe it's because thanks to Wayne Huizenga we forgot that all owners aren't often detestable people, but Sports Illustrated points out that the cur ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2009
Dolphins Premium Ticket Holders Will Get Free Fancy Handheld Device
via Kangaroo.tvKeeping with his eventual plan to turn Dolphin LandShark Stadium into a luxury football destination, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross announced today that all premium ticket holders will be provided with free, wireless, hand held devices during games. The devices (Dolphin Pods?) will provi ... More >>
Blogs
June 23, 2009
Update: Gloria and Emilio Estefan Get Minority Ownership in the Dolphins
Last month, Riptide received a vague but alarming email invitation with this headline: "JIMMY BUFFETT, MIAMI DOLPHINS AND DOLPHIN STADIUM TO HOST MAJOR CORPORATE ANNOUNCEMENT."Riptide quickly RSVPed and was treated to one of the most disturbing displays in sports history: Jimmy Buffett playing to a ... More >>
Blogs
July 14, 2009
Fins Owner Gave Away Naming Rights Because He Couldn't Get Buffett Song Out Of His Head
Good thing Stephen Ross wasn't stuck on "I Kissed A Girl." Or humming "My Humps" all day long. The South Florida Business Journal confirmed this morning what we've suspected all along here at Riptide: The Dolphins owner gave away the naming rights to Dolphin Stadium for absolutel ... More >>
Blogs
July 17, 2009
Dolphins Celebrity News Conference Fetish Continues with Marc Anthony
Another week has passed from this Earth, and another mysterious email announcing a Dolphins news conference featuring a popular musician has landed in Riptide's inbox.via Wikimedia CommonsWe can only pray that Marc Anthony will not be singing "Fins" in Spanish.First came Jimmy Buffett. We all know h ... More >>
Blogs
August 6, 2009
Miami Dolphins Continue Their Celebrity Love-Fest with Britto, T-Pain, Versace, and Ocean Drive Mag
Remember those good ol' days when the Miami Dolphins just played football? When Shula, Marino, and Csonka were the names that first came to mind when you imagined the teal and orange -- not Buffett, Estefan, and Anthony?via Wikimedia CommonsThis cat is much more interesting than a Joey Por ... More >>
Blogs
August 11, 2009
Which of These Miami Dolphins Songs Is More Embarrassing?
In hip-hop, Jay-Z is God, and since he declared Auto-Tune dead, we've hoped that would put a swift end to the career of professional Auto-Tune abuser T-Pain. (I will never understand how a musical technique pioneered by Cher became "gangsta.") Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross didn't get th ... More >>
Calendar
August 13, 2009
Snowflake Returns
In hip-hop, Jay-Z is God, and since he declared Auto-Tune dead, we've hoped that would put a swift end to the career of professional Auto-Tune abuser T-Pain. (I will never understand how a musical technique pioneered by Cher became "gangsta.") Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross didn't get th ... More >>
Blogs
August 19, 2009
Which Florida Celebrities Will Get a Piece of the Dolphins Next?
In case you missed it, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross made it official this morning: The Fins are indeed waging the biggest celebrity love-fest in South Florida this side of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami.via Wikimedia CommonsAre you ready for some mustache?The Dolphins have lost 20 percent o ... More >>
News
December 31, 2009
Miami's Dirty Dozen 2009
In case you missed it, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross made it official this morning: The Fins are indeed waging the biggest celebrity love-fest in South Florida this side of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami.via Wikimedia CommonsAre you ready for some mustache?The Dolphins have lost 20 percent o ... More >>
Blogs
April 26, 2010
Can The Marlins Sink Any Lower To Make A Buck? Yes They Can!
Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>
News
April 29, 2010
Marlins rip out the Teal Monster to make a few bucks
Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>
Blogs
August 19, 2010
Dolphins Games About to Get All South Beachy
Evidently, Stephen Ross hasn't quite finished his quest to make the Miami Dolphins the biggest laughing stock in the NFL. Because now that he's brought in A-list celebrities like Gloria Estefan and Jennifer Lopez to become part-owners of the team, Ross is moving on to phase two: He's going to tur ... More >>
Blogs
October 11, 2010
Rapper Birdman Says He's Close To Becoming Yet Another Minority Owner of the Miami Dolphins
The Miami Dolphins are in the midst of a two-game losing streak. They just fired their special teams coach after they single-handedly lost the game against the New England Patriots. The starting quarterback position is in doubt. Their football czar is about to walk away, leaving a lot of question ... More >>
Blogs
October 12, 2010
Birdman Was Lying About Becoming Minority Owner of the Miami Dolphins, Maybe
Yesterday we linked to a report by the Miami Herald's Armando Salguero saying that rapper Birdman was awaiting approval from the NFL to become the latest celeb minority owner of the Miami Dolphins. Then Salguero did some followup with the league and Dolphins owner Stephen Ross. Turns out Birdman ... More >>
Blogs
November 26, 2010
Will the Dolphins Replace Tony Sparano With Jon Gruden?
With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>
Blogs
December 10, 2010
Dolphins To Take in Broadway Play Before Jets Game
The Miami Dolphins raised some eyebrows when they announced they'd be landing New York today instead of the usual Saturday arrival for their game this weekend against the Jets. Well, it turns out that owner Stephen Ross arranged the early visit so his team could take in a showing of a Broadway pl ... More >>
Blogs
December 23, 2010
Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2010
If Tony Sparano Gets Axed, Should the Dolphins Go After a Superstar Coach? History Says No
It's not official yet, but another Florida football team may soon be on the hunt for a new head coach. Following the Fin's friggin' seventh home loss of the season, speculation is brimming that Tony Sparano may soon be sleeping with the fishes, professionally anyway. Which means rampant replaceme ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2010
Tony Sparano's Job is Safe... For Now
It looks like Tony Sparano may hold onto his job as the Dolphins head coach after all, and, interestingly, that Bill Parcells still has some sway in the organization. Former Raiders executive Mike Lombardi reported on Inside the NFL last night that sources close to the team say Parcells has convi ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2011
So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?
Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2011
Report: Bill Cowher Probably Won't Coach Dolphins Unless Ireland is Fired
Despite public votes of confidence, Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano's job is likely in danger. Though, if the Dolphins do fire Sparano they better make sure they bring in someone better to replace him. Looks like one of the leading buzzed about candidates isn't likely to want the job. A report from ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2011
Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL
How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>
Blogs
January 7, 2011
Dolphins to Keep Sparano as Coach: Well, This is an Awkward Mess
Tony SparanoTony Sparano will live to see another season as the Dolphins head coach as talks with Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh have apparently fallen through, according to ESPN. Which basically makes the Dolphins looks like the awkward laughing stock of the NFL. No one comes off looking good. Spar ... More >>
Blogs
January 7, 2011
Dolphins Not Just Keeping Sparano, But Offering Him Contract Extension
Jeff Ireland: Finalist for NFL's Dick of the Year award? Well, according to ESPN, the Dolphins have not only decided to keep Tony Sparano on as head coach but now they're prepared to offer him a one year contract extension. Meaning not only will he be back in 2011, but 2012 as well. This is proba ... More >>
Blogs
April 25, 2011
Serena Williams Is Now a Rapper, We Guess
Between Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez, and Fergie, the Miami Dolphins owners' box has more musical talent than a Now! That's What I Call Music CD. In fact, besides Stephen Ross and Wayne Huizenga, the Williams sisters are the only "owners" without a musical connection. Apparently, ... More >>
Blogs
August 9, 2011
Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2011
Miami Dolphins Buy Own Tickets to Avoid Blackout
Well, you can't Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he's taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn't blacked out on local television.
Blogs
September 23, 2011
Karlos Dansby Throws Wet Sponges on Rumors of Firing Tony Sparano
Over the past ten years, if Dolphins fans haven't been talking about publicly drawing and quartering whatever unlucky sap is filling the quarterback role at Sun Life Stadium, they've likely yapping about burning the coach on a cross. Or, at least his contract.With a 0-2 record and the longe ... More >>
Blogs
October 2, 2011
Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach. Alex Izaguirre The only way Miami Dolphins ... More >>
Blogs
October 13, 2011
Marc Sarnoff is the Top Rain Maker in Miami
Miami city commissioner Marc Sarnoff has collected nearly half a million dollars in his reelection bid, leading all candidates in the money raising front for the upcoming November election. Of the three incumbents on the ballot, Sarnoff faces the stiffest competition with four opponents who ha ... More >>
Blogs
October 17, 2011
Tony Sparano and Jeff Ireland Likely to Find Themselves Unemployed After the Season
In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, The Miami Herald reports that Stephen Ross is mentally preparing to send a pink slip to both Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano and general manager Jeff Ireland. Interestingly however, Ross apparently has a bit of "Suck for Luck" fever, and is hoping to bring ... More >>
Blogs
October 18, 2011
Miami Dolphins: The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked A Suck
Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>
News
November 3, 2011
Miami Herald's "House of Lies" exposes a crisis but then moves on
Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>
Blogs
December 1, 2011
Pitbull Makes GQ's "Least Influential" List, But Not Ours; Meet Miami's Five Least Influential
GQIn the December issue of GQ magazine, our hometown boy Pitbull is the only Miamian to make the list of the "25 Least Influential People Alive." Tim Pawlenty claimed the top spot and others on the list with less clout than the Cuban-American rapper include actress Gwenyth Patrow, deposed ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too
The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Tony Sparano Fired; Defensive Backs Coach Todd Bowles Named Interim Coach
Rumors were spiraling this morning that Tony Sparano's fate was sealed as head coach with the Miami Dolphins, but the team isn't taking any time to make it official. According to The Miami Herald, the team will officially announce his termination this afternoon. Defensive backs coach Todd Bowles ... More >>
Blogs
December 15, 2011
If the Dolphins Hire Carl Peterson, Will He Really Help Land A "Superstar" Coach?
Rumors are swirling that Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is looking to bring former Kansas City Chiefs president Carl Peterson on in an executive role. Basically Peterson would serve as a new Bill Parcells of sorts, taking a top executive role but leaving the day-to-day running of the team ... More >>
Blogs
January 4, 2012
Dolphins Ready to Throw Tons of Money at Jeff Fisher
The Miami Dolphins are ready to go all in on hiring former Titans coach Jeff Fisher. However, he has attracted the interest of other teams searching for a coach, including the St. Louis Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fins owner Stephen Ross is ready to outbid any team for Fisher's services. That ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2012
Jeff Fisher Leaning Toward St. Louis Job; Sorry, Dolphins
Dolphins owner Stephen Ross said shortly after firing Tony Sparano that he'd be looking for a "young Don Shula." So it sort of surprised us when he went all-in on the pursuit of Jeff Fisher. The man is certainly no young Don Shula. Jeff Fisher is, well, an old Jeff Fisher. So we're not exactly he ... More >>
Blogs
January 10, 2012
Dolphins Coaching Candidate Joe Philbin's Son Found Dead in River
On Saturday, Green Bay Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin was interviewing for the head coaching position with the Miami Dolphins. On Sunday, his 21-year-old son Michael Philbin was reported missing. Yesterday, police found a body in an icy river in Wisconsin. According to ESPN, poli ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
Jeff Fisher Might Be Ever So Close to Taking the Dolphins Head Coaching Job
Reports of Fisher possessing an upper lip appear to have been exaggerated, possibly as part of the bargaining process.Despite reports that he was "95 percent certain" he was going to take a job with the St. Louis Rams, former Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is the subject of reports sayin ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
Jeff Fisher Picks Rams Over Dolphins
After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2012
Jennifer Lopez Loses Her Brickell Condo to Foreclosure
Jennifer Lopez is the latest victim of Florida's foreclosure crisis. The condo in the Icon Brickell building she was shacking up in with her latest younger lover, Caspar Smart, has now been bought up out of foreclosure by someone else and Lopez will have to move out according to Gossip Extra. Do ... More >>
Blogs
February 8, 2012
Peyton Manning "Not Throwing Like an NFL Quarterback," Which, Let's Be Honest, is Good Enough for the Dolphins
So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully ... More >>
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