This is an actual press release sent out by an actual political party. The Republican Party of Florida to be exact. Someone (or perhaps multiple someones) actually wrote this, and made a photoshop and decided it would be a good idea to send out.
Crushed in a garbage truck, poisoned by a landlady, crapped out-literally--during a dice game. These and more are buried in this county's cemetaries, and come Halloween night, they'll be dying to get out