Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the media's obsession with the NFL's first openly gay player. Now that the NFL season is finally underway, it's time f ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins complete their preseason schedule tonight against the St.Louis Rams, and a lot of questions still remain. Entering the 2014-15 season, the team wants to change its mediocre ways and get back into the playoffs for the first time still 2010. If that is to happen, a lot of things mus ... More >>
It's hard to believe, but summer is nearing completion and football pre-season is already here. The Miami Dolphins play the St. Louis Rams this Thursday, August 28 at Sun Life Stadium and if you're going to the game -- go hungry for both a win and a solid meal. This time, we're not talking just nac ... More >>
So an NFL player and an NBA player walk into a bar... and they both end up getting arrested for fighting each other. St. Louis Rams linebacker Jo-Lonn Dunbar and NBA free agent Donté Greene both got cuffed after getting into an altercation early Sunday morning outside Dream nightclub in Miami Bea ... More >>
If you're on a team that just went through a high-profile bullying scandal that involved lots of homophobic insults, it's probably not a good idea to take to Twitter to react negatively to news that the man who could become the NFL's first openly gay player was drafted. But homophobes typically aren ... More >>
TerRio is exhausted. The 6-year-old internet star is slumped over on the hood of a limousine outside downtown Miami's Grand Central nightclub. It's only 9:47 p.m. on a Saturday, but filming on TerRio's first professional music video is scheduled to continue through 7 a.m. the next day. Suddenly, the ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke doesn't think professional football should police players' language. NFL referees will likely penalize teams for players' use o ... More >>
If there was one silver lining to the NFL season for Dolphins fans this year, it was the fact that while our team might have been mediocre at best, at least we weren't the laughing stock the New York Jets became this year.They've fired their General Manager Mike Tannenbaum, and sort of surprisingly ... More >>
So it comes to this: your Miami Dolphins take that loooong west coast flight to face the 8-3 San Francisco 49ers. A few weeks ago this looked like a great matchup: a rising Dolphins team with playoff hopes facing the one-time object of our affection, Jim Harbaugh, and the team he turned us down for. ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins are 3-3 today in spite of absolutely listless performances by both teams in a boring game, a second straight game of questionable (read: crappy) officiating and the Dolphins only rushing for a total of 20 yards all game. However, the continued influence of Ryan Tannehill's burgeon ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins are in the midst of a resurgence. Their third win Sunday moved them into a first-place tie above the AFC East. While the Dolphins were taking down the St. Louis Rams, fans across the stadium were downing a variety of food selections. From the first ball tossed, someone was tossing ... More >>
Every week, Riptide's crack team of employment termination scientists gauge just how fireable loathed Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland has become following his latest series of horrific blunders. So how close is the Ginger Menace to getting canned this week?Yes, the Dolphins managed to outlast ... More >>
In a game that featured absolutely putrid calls on the field by the recently-returned "professional" refs, the Dolphins managed to hold off the Cincinnati Bengals for a 17-13 win. An overall sloppy game for both teams was sealed when safety Reshad Jones intercepted Andy Dalton with 1:22 left in the ... More >>
Let's be honest, this season is not exactly hopeful for your Miami Dolphins. With a rookie quarterback and coming off a 6-10 campaign in 2011, the oddsmakers aren't exactly worried you'll hit the 200-1 sweepstakes that the Dolphins win Super Bowl XLVII. That won't stop belligerent Dolphins fans from ... More >>
The W South Beach has to deal with four angry NFL players. The player have filed four separate lawsuits against the developers of the Residences at W South Beach. All four put down deposits on condos back in 2006 and 2007 but want that money back.
Quarterback U? Not anymore. It seems Jacory Harris' NFL fate is starting to look like a lot of other recent former University of Miami quarterbacks, as Harris was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles' roster just ten days after having been signed by the team.
Despite reports that he was "95 percent certain" he was going to take a job with the St. Louis Rams, former Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is the subject of reports saying that he's ready to commit to the Miami Dolphins now instead.It's not clear what changed Fisher's mind, or if he has ... More >>
Dolphins owner Stephen Ross said shortly after firing Tony Sparano that he'd be looking for a "young Don Shula." So it sort of surprised us when he went all-in on the pursuit of Jeff Fisher. The man is certainly no young Don Shula. Jeff Fisher is, well, an old Jeff Fisher. So we're not exactly he ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins are ready to go all in on hiring former Titans coach Jeff Fisher. However, he has attracted the interest of other teams searching for a coach, including the St. Louis Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fins owner Stephen Ross is ready to outbid any team for Fisher's services. That ... More >>
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Don't feel bad about not having much love for Dolphins coach Tony Sparano. NFL players don't like him much either.The Sporting News polled 111 current players on which coach they'd least like to play for, and Sparano came in second, just one vote behind NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin.
The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>
Dolphins fans have a right to be concerned about Brandon Marshall's play last season and the legal situation stemming form his wife stabbing him in the gut with a kitchen knife, but is the best solution to that really signing a guy who just got out of a jail yesterday after serving two years for ... More >>
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins have signed a one-year deal with controversial guard Richie Incognito, who was released late last year by the Rams. The deal is worth a little more than $1 million to the player with a suspiciously comic book villain-esque name.The Nebraska grad comes with a bit of baggage and ... More >>
Back in February, I visited the Guantanamo Bay prison camp during President Obama's inauguration. At the time, it sure seemed like I was witnessing the last days of a ugly chapter in American history. Obama's first act as president was an order to close the place. The head of the detention center ... More >>
via Kim KardashianAs Congressman Steve King reminded us yesterday, Jennifer Lopez is a horrible, horrible human being who has amongst other crimes against humanity, promoted "the sexual abuse of women, ...the n-word, verbal pornography, [and] recreational drug use." King was absolutely irate that ... More >>
Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant running ... More >>
Cold, hard reality set in last week for Miami's two most notable football squads. The Fins lost their rematch to the Pats, and the Canes saw their ACC title hopes evaporate. Hopefully they'll be able to put their disappointment behind them and not squander seasons that are, by last year's standard ... More >>
Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking
Is Dan Marino a stoic swaddled in hype or a frigid sports celebrity with the personality of an egg timer?
Most of the boys who play in Gwen Cherry Park's pop warner football program live in the Scott Projects, but they do their growing up on the gridiron