St. Louis Rams

Jake Long Is Not Too Fired Up About Becoming a Dolphin The Dolphins' Schedule

Weekend Football: The Doldrums

Cold, hard reality set in last week for Miami's two most notable football squads. The Fins lost their rematch to the Pats, and the Canes saw their ACC title hopes evaporate. Hopefully they'll be able to put their disappointment behind them and not squander seasons that are, by last year's standard ... More >>

Because Sometimes Winning Ugly Beats Not Winning At All

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

Program Notes

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

Stick It to the Rams

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

It’s Dolphin Season

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of August 18, 2005

Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking

Chasing Danny

Is Dan Marino a stoic swaddled in hype or a frigid sports celebrity with the personality of an egg timer?

Coming of Age on the 50-Yard Line

Most of the boys who play in Gwen Cherry Park's pop warner football program live in the Scott Projects, but they do their growing up on the gridiron

Jennifer Lopez, Most Evil NFL Owner Ever, Caught with Amateur Porn Star at LIV

via Kim Kardashian​As Congressman Steve King reminded us yesterday, Jennifer Lopez is a horrible, horrible human being who has amongst other crimes against humanity, promoted "the sexual abuse of women, ...the n-word, verbal pornography, [and] recreational drug use." King was absolutely irate that ... More >>

Spineless U.S. Congress Kills Latest Hopes to Close Gitmo

Back in February, I visited the Guantanamo Bay prison camp during President Obama's inauguration. At the time, it sure seemed like I was witnessing the last days of a ugly chapter in American history. ​Obama's first act as president was an order to close the place. The head of the detention center ... More >>

Dolphins Sign Richie Incognito

​The Miami Dolphins have signed a one-year deal with controversial guard Richie Incognito, who was released late last year by the Rams. The deal is worth a little more than $1 million to the player with a suspiciously comic book villain-esque name.The Nebraska grad comes with a bit of baggage and ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog

​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

Plaxico Burress: A Good Fit for the Dolphins?

​Dolphins fans have a right to be concerned about Brandon Marshall's play last season and the legal situation stemming form his wife stabbing him in the gut with a kitchen knife, but is the best solution to that really signing a guy who just got out of a jail yesterday after serving two years for ... More >>

The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!

The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>

Tony Sparano Crowned Second Least Popular Coach Among NFL Players

​Don't feel bad about not having much love for Dolphins coach Tony Sparano. NFL players don't like him much either.The Sporting News polled 111 current players on which coach they'd least like to play for, and Sparano came in second, just one vote behind NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin.

Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

Dolphins Ready to Throw Tons of Money at Jeff Fisher

​The Miami Dolphins are ready to go all in on hiring former Titans coach Jeff Fisher. However, he has attracted the interest of other teams searching for a coach, including the St. Louis Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fins owner Stephen Ross is ready to outbid any team for Fisher's services. That ... More >>

Jeff Fisher Leaning Toward St. Louis Job; Sorry, Dolphins

​Dolphins owner Stephen Ross said shortly after firing Tony Sparano that he'd be looking for a "young Don Shula." So it sort of surprised us when he went all-in on the pursuit of Jeff Fisher. The man is certainly no young Don Shula. Jeff Fisher is, well, an old Jeff Fisher. So we're not exactly he ... More >>

Jeff Fisher Might Be Ever So Close to Taking the Dolphins Head Coaching Job

Reports of Fisher possessing an upper lip appear to have been exaggerated, possibly as part of the bargaining process.​Despite reports that he was "95 percent certain" he was going to take a job with the St. Louis Rams, former Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is the subject of reports sayin ... More >>