San Francisco 49ers quarterback Caolin Kaepernick, wide receiver Quinton Patton, and Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Ricarod Lockette are the subjects of a sexual assault investigation by the Miami Police Department. The incident allegedly happened at Lockette's room at the Viceroy Hotel in downtow ... More >>
When you're up against Peyton Manning and the (no longer?) best offensive team in NFL history, the odds might seem slim when it comes to winning the Super Bowl. But not for the Seattle Seahawks. With a final score of 43-8, not even Manning, with his all-time touchdown skills (55 end-zone passes thi ... More >>
Blink ... Now open your eyes. Just like that, the first month of 2014 has come to an end. The weekend madness, parties, and wild shenanigans may fly by as quickly as the last 31 days, but the dollar bills in your pocket won't. Just check out the the ten best music-related things to do under $10 i ... More >>
Every year there is a Super Bowl. Every year, for the past 31 years, the Miami Dolphins have not been in that Super Bowl. So every year we're left deciding what team we're going to nominally root for that night. In fact, over the past few years Riptide has used a highly secret, semi-patented mathe ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke comes to the defense of a controversial NFL player. Richard Sherman is a success story. Born in Compton, California, he didn't l ... More >>
Few things arouse a man's anger like American football. When the Dolphins lose, a thousand dudes across South Florida launch their remotes in unison at their TV screens. Road rage rises and bar fights break out. But murder? That's exactly what happened earlier this week in North Miami Beach, howeve ... More >>
Traitor! Judas! Backstabber! Apparently there is no "305 til' I die (or get fired)" clause in Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra's contract, because Spo gave a big pep talk to the Seattle Seahawks. Well, at least the Dolphins won't be playing the Seahawks this season.
Give Stephen Ross props. He stepped up to Norman Braman one billionaire to another and slapped him across the face with a clean white glove. With a full page ad undermining Braman's credibility in Tuesday's edition of the Miami Herald, Ross let Braman know he's got the cash to parry any attacks the ... More >>
Let's be honest, this season is not exactly hopeful for your Miami Dolphins. With a rookie quarterback and coming off a 6-10 campaign in 2011, the oddsmakers aren't exactly worried you'll hit the 200-1 sweepstakes that the Dolphins win Super Bowl XLVII. That won't stop belligerent Dolphins fans from ... More >>
The big news on the vegan scene is that Deuce Lutui, the Seattle Seahawks' new guard, has gone (mostly) vegan to get his weight in check (he's dropped 60 pounds since June 2010) and improve his performance on the field. This is just more proof that anyone can benefit from embracing a vegan diet, but ... More >>
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be. In this special edition, Luke laments the epic fall of Miami's storied NFL team.It is a tragedy what is going on with the Miami Dolphins. One of the most suc ... More >>
Peyton Manning has officially told the Miami Dolphins he won't be suiting up in aqua and orange next season. It's another embarrassing failure for owner Stephen Ross and GM Jeff Ireland, and there's even some suggestions that Manning only took the meeting with the Fins as a favor to Dan Marino. O ... More >>
Could the Miami Hurricanes soon be on the hunt for its sixth offensive coordinator since 2005? Quite possibly if the Chicago Bears pursue current OC Jedd Fisch. The team is looking for a new passing game coordinator/quarterbacks coach.
Is Pete Carroll trying to recruit LeBron James? Just days after the Miami Heat stat took to his Twitter to hint that maybe, possibly he was thinking about an NFL career, the Seattle Seahawks coach replied with a custom LeBron jersey.
Even the most passionate Miami Dolphins fans might not remember Alvin Powell. The offensive lineman played only two games for the Fins in 1989 before suddenly resigning. His play on the field wasn't much helped by the fact that he was addicted to crack cocaine. Now the former NFL player has turne ... More >>
Now that the Seattle Seahawks are unsurprisingly out of the playoff race, newly hired Miami Hurricanes offensive coordinator and now former Seahawks QB coach Jedd Fisch will finally get to me Al Golden? Wait, wait, the 'Canes new head coach hired his offensive coordinator without ever actuall ... More >>
Al Golden has said he was going to hire his offensive coordinator from the NFL to guide the Hurricane's traditional pro-style offense, and according to reports he's selected Seattle Seahawks quarterbacks coach Jedd Fisch for the job. The hiring hasn't been made official, but the team's official T ... More >>
The USC Trojans and the Miami Hurricanes aren't that different: private schools in big warm weather cities with a healthy amount of national championships and a sometimes troubling amount of controversy. The big difference is that 'Canes haven't won a national championship since '01, whereas ... More >>
Moon over Miami? Randy Moss sure has had a weird season. The day after the Patriots came to Miami and handed the Dolphins their dorsal tails, he was cut from the team. He ended back in Minnesota, where he just didn't gel with Brett Favre (not that anyone wants to "gel" with Favre lately). Today t ... More >>
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Up this week, Luke dissects how superstar athletes fall for the pussy trap.I have to give credit to the Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office f ... More >>
Curious George director Alan Shalleck's curiosity killed him.
Is Dan Marino a stoic swaddled in hype or a frigid sports celebrity with the personality of an egg timer?