Subject:

Santa Claus

  • Blogs

    March 30, 2012

    Johnny Dread Talks Smoking Fatties, Ethiopia, and Tobacco Road's 100th Anniversary

    ​What happens when you introduce a Cuban basketball star to weed, percussion, and the Marley family?You get Johnny Dread, a rasta music ambassador since 1987 when he started playing drums in the band Copacetic with lead singer Julian Marley. Their album "Ghetto Rock" hit number-seven spot on Bill ... More >>

  • News

    January 19, 2012

    Tim Tebow should quit now

    ​What happens when you introduce a Cuban basketball star to weed, percussion, and the Marley family?You get Johnny Dread, a rasta music ambassador since 1987 when he started playing drums in the band Copacetic with lead singer Julian Marley. Their album "Ghetto Rock" hit number-seven spot on Bill ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    Tim Tebow Should Quit The NFL While He's Ahead

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell tells Tim Tebow that his calling is outside of football. For the first time in the history of the NFL, a player is a ... More >>

  • News

    December 29, 2011

    South Florida family sues over "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town"

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell tells Tim Tebow that his calling is outside of football. For the first time in the history of the NFL, a player is a ... More >>

  • Music

    December 22, 2011

    Miami's five best Christmas parties

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell tells Tim Tebow that his calling is outside of football. For the first time in the history of the NFL, a player is a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Get Drunk and Jolly With Miami's Five Best Christmas Parties

    Art by AholsniffsglueHave a very Merry XXX-Mas with (((Shake))) at The Vagabond.​Oh, Christmas! It's that feel-good time of the year that's filled with good friends, close family, pretty lights, big trees, strong egg nog, huge yule logs, nice carols, sweet hymns, odes to Jesus, and all kinds of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2011

    Lady Gaga's A Very Gaga Thanksgiving: Ten Celebrities That Should Never Do a Holiday Show

    Will Lady Gaga wear a turkey dress?​Lady Gaga just announced her new holiday special, A Very Gaga Thanksgiving. The show will air on ABC on Thanksgiving day, November 24, and will feature Tony Bennett and Katie Couric. If that's not bizarre enough, Gaga is set to perform "White Christmas" and chef ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2011

    Ke$ha Got $leazy and $keezy at Klipsch Amphitheater, August 7

    Photo by George MartinezKe$ha fondles her gearbox.​See the full 36-photo Ke$ha at Klipsch Amphitheater at Bayfront Park slideshow. Ke$ha's Get $leazy Tour With LMFAO, and Spank Rock  Bayfront Park August 7, 2011 Better Than: Campbell's Tomato Soup on a hot day. At about the moment when K ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2010

    Mugshots Friday: Santa Got Booked In Miami

    ​Have you spent the last week wondering why that plate of cookies went untouched and your stocking was bereft of swag? No, it's not because Santa found out about your massive Medicare fraud; Ol' Saint Nick's just got his own problems with Johnny Law. For Mugshot Friday's very special holiday week, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2010

    Child-Porn Suspect Was Set to Play Santa at Miami Middle School

    ​Charlie Garcia, 30 an 11-year employee at Paul W. Bell Middle School, located in west Miami-Dade, was all set to play Santa Claus for the school's holiday festivities. Then Broward Sheriff's Officers knocked on his door. They arrested him for the very un-Santa like crime of possessing child porn ... More >>

  • News

    December 23, 2010

    A Posner family Christmas card

    ​Charlie Garcia, 30 an 11-year employee at Paul W. Bell Middle School, located in west Miami-Dade, was all set to play Santa Claus for the school's holiday festivities. Then Broward Sheriff's Officers knocked on his door. They arrested him for the very un-Santa like crime of possessing child porn ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2010

    Top Ten Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

    Turn that shit off! You're making Santa sad!​Shitty Christmas music makes Santa mad. Hey, the guy's gotta drive 'round the whole world and the last thing he wants on such a long road trip is crappy tunes. And that means all the CDs he throws out of his sleigh end up falling down your chimney. Whic ... More >>

  • News

    December 16, 2010

    Ex-mayor Kevin Burns's Xmas tree war

    Turn that shit off! You're making Santa sad!​Shitty Christmas music makes Santa mad. Hey, the guy's gotta drive 'round the whole world and the last thing he wants on such a long road trip is crappy tunes. And that means all the CDs he throws out of his sleigh end up falling down your chimney. Whic ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 9, 2010

    Crack House

    Turn that shit off! You're making Santa sad!​Shitty Christmas music makes Santa mad. Hey, the guy's gotta drive 'round the whole world and the last thing he wants on such a long road trip is crappy tunes. And that means all the CDs he throws out of his sleigh end up falling down your chimney. Whic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2010

    Miami Underwear Company Sends Man Thongs to SF Giants

    ​Who is Miami supposed to root for in the World Series when it's not one of those weird years when the Marlins somehow manage to wind up winning it? The city's important risqué mens underwear industry is apparently lining up behind the San Francisco Giants. Papi, a Miami based brand of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 17, 2010

    Artist William Powhida Mocks Art Basel With Huge Drawing, Calls Miami 'Hooverville'

    Art Basel is many things to many people. Some see it as a drug-infused bacchanal where, occasionally, art is appreciated. Others see it as the art world's seasonally scheduled hangover. Most would agree it's a catastrofuck of major proportions. William PowhidaDo you remember anything from last year ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2009

    Silicon Beach: Tiger Woods Ranks Higher Than Jesus Christ and Santa Claus on Google

    Image via Nevada Tumbleweed's Flickr/CC 2.0​Tiger Woods will probably upstage Jesus Christ at every Christmas church sermon this holiday season, if we were to use Google as a gauge of human inquiry. At approximately 7 p.m. EST on Christmas Eve, the world golf champion garnered 50,000,000 return re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 24, 2009

    Cider Flows Freely at the Bull Bar in Delray

    ​Night Watch is a regular feature about bars and clubs by nightlife columnist Tara Nieuwesteeg. The Bull Bar 2 E. Atlantic Ave.Delray Beach 561-274-8001, thebullbar.comAcross from the Bull Bar was a park with an "ice skating rink" and a giant Christmas tree all decked out in blue, purple, red, an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2009

    Destroyio Records Presents A Punk Rock Christmas at Churchill's

    Fabio DestroyioSanta shits out Jesus for Christmas.​Once a year at the end of December Christmas takes over everything. See the above flyer of Santa Clause shitting out a full grown Jesus Christ doing the rock and roll sign as he exits Santa's asshole to see how some people feel about it.This Frid ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2009

    Drink and Draw Debuts at the News Lounge

    WikicommonsWhen we get drunk over here at the New Times, we tend to throw on some Jimmy Buffett and reminisce about the good ole' newspaper days of the late 1760's, when reading the "pape" was not only expected, it was required by Divine Order of the King. (Damn, I miss the monarchy...)But when the ... More >>

  • Culture

    May 21, 2009

    Art from the Outside

    Self-taught artists with mental illness shine at MCPA Gallery.

  • Blogs

    December 24, 2008

    All They Want For Christmas: Gift Ideas for MCR, Musiq, Silverchair and More

    Silverchair's Daniel Johns wants an inflatable sheep. No, really. It's after the jump.We've been having trouble figuring out what to buy our friends and family for Christmas this year. To help out on the idea front, we decided to draw inspiration from some of our favorite musical artists' Christmas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2008

    Last Night: Trans-Siberian Orchestra at BankAtlantic Center

    Trans-Siberian Orchestra Thursday, November 14, 2008 BankAtlantic Center, Sunrise Better Than: A piping mug of hot chocolate and a handful of candy canes on a warm South Florida day. Before mentioning the jolly thrashing Trans-Siberian Orchestra dispensed at the BankAtlantic Center last night, it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2008

    Hockey Fans Hate The Hockey Mom

    Trans-Siberian Orchestra Thursday, November 14, 2008 BankAtlantic Center, Sunrise Better Than: A piping mug of hot chocolate and a handful of candy canes on a warm South Florida day. Before mentioning the jolly thrashing Trans-Siberian Orchestra dispensed at the BankAtlantic Center last night, it ... More >>

  • Film

    July 10, 2008

    Devil May Care

    Big Red returns in a mindless, revved-up Hellboy sequel.

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2007

    Breaking News: Ethics Commission and Chief Timoney

    Big Red returns in a mindless, revved-up Hellboy sequel.

  • Blogs

    July 2, 2007

    Beach Mayoral Candidate Blasts "Adam and Steve"

    Big Red returns in a mindless, revved-up Hellboy sequel.

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2007

    Dollar Dollar Bills, Y'all

    Big Red returns in a mindless, revved-up Hellboy sequel.

  • Film

    October 19, 2006

    A Guide to Recognizing Your Shrinks

    Coming of age and coming out in the Me Decade

  • Home Entertainment

    October 6, 2005

    Our top DVD picks for the week of October 4.

    Coming of age and coming out in the Me Decade

  • Diversions

    May 12, 2005

    BEST HEAT PLAYER

    Shaquille O'Neal

  • News

    January 27, 2005

    Crack Kills

    A man on the streets experiences the death of his life in a pipe, on a bike, in a lot

  • Calendar

    December 16, 2004

    Hotel Makeover

    A man on the streets experiences the death of his life in a pipe, on a bike, in a lot

  • Calendar

    November 25, 2004

    TGI Viernes

    A man on the streets experiences the death of his life in a pipe, on a bike, in a lot

  • News

    September 2, 2004

    Letters from the Issue of September 2-8, 2004

    Big Sugar, conspiracies, local talent, and Newspeak

  • Film

    April 15, 2004

    None Like It Lame

    Connie and Carla models a classic, but ends up being a drag

  • Culture

    December 12, 2002

    Santa's Secret Shame

    These eight tiny reindeer describe how the fat man got his Claus into them

  • News

    January 3, 2002

    My Dog Ate the Mortgage -- Really!

    As Miami tries to collect millions in loans gone bad, the deadbeat debtors trot out their excuses

  • Culture

    November 22, 2001

    Don’t Get Holidazed!

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    April 16, 1998

    News of the Weird

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • Film

    October 23, 1997

    Faking Away

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • Music

    March 20, 1997

    Rotations

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • Calendar

    August 8, 1996

    Calendar for the week

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    March 30, 1994

    Swelter

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    December 15, 1993

    Swelter 35

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • Culture

    June 16, 1993

    Faux Jest

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    January 27, 1993

    Swelter

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    December 23, 1992

    Program Notes

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • News

    January 1, 1992

    Swelter

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • Music

    October 9, 1991

    Long Replayers

    Holiday Gift Guide 2001

  • More >>
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