San Francisco 49ers

Stephen Ross Claims Tony Sparano "Damaged" the Miami Dolphins

What the hell exactly is a wrong with Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross? This is a guy who saw the public outrage over the Marlins stadium debacle, and almost immediately begins his own ill-timed campaign to seek public funds for a stadium upgrade. He's also apparently a guy who can't understand why an em ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Would Allow County to Back Out of Stadium Deal If They're Not Awarded a Super Bowl

The Miami Dolphins are so confident the NFL is going to hand them a Super Bowl in May they've announced today that they'd let the county back out of any stadium renovation deal if Miami isn't picked as a host.

Heat Wins 14th Straight, Rallies to Beat New York 99-93

Down 16 in the first half to the Heat's most hated rival, it looked as if Miami's 13-game winning streak was in a boatload of trouble. Good thing for the Heat it happens to have the B.O.A.T., AKA the man Pat Riley calls the "Best of All Time." Captain Cobra Dick to the rescue, once again. Hissssssss ... More >>

Super Bowl: Six Shittiest Musical Commercials

So the Super Bowl turned 47. And as we all know, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers in a surprisingly hectic second-half, Beyonce reunited with her Destiny's Child homies, and the game stopped for a full 34 minutes when half of the stadium's the power mysteriously went out. But that' ... More >>

Miami's Best Eats and Drinks This Weekend

Since we can't all be in New Orleans this weekend cheering on our favorite teams (by the way, are you a Ravens or a 49ers fan?) the party is just going to have to come to us. And, sure, we're under a lot of national humiliation right now with Dan Marino's affair and love child gone public and all ... More >>

Super Bowl 2013: Ten Best Free Parties in Miami

There will be bloodshed in New Orleans this Sunday as brother (San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh) battles brother (Baltimore Ravens skipper John Harbaugh) for football supremacy in Super Bowl XLVII. Two white guys move their soldiers on the field of war, and we eat, drink, argue, do the Heisma ... More >>

Sweetness Bakeshop Selling Beer-Infused, Team-Themed Super Bowl Cupcakes

On Super Bowl Sunday, when the keg is kicked, the wing bones picked dry, the seven-layer dip down to its last tier - you and your guests will be jonesin' for something sweet. And to satisfy those post-game cravings, Sweetness Bakeshop & Cafe is baking up some team-themed, craft beer-infused treats. ... More >>

Super Bowl Watch Parties in Miami

The big game is this Sunday in New Orleans and the Big Easy is filled with fans lining the streets to celebrate Super Bowl XLVII Mardi Gras style.Sure, fans lucky enough to have scored a ticket to the game get to see the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers go head-to-head in person, but the ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Will Have Most Alumni Playing In NFL Conference Championship Games This Weekend

In yet another bittersweet reminder that despite not having much success lately on the college level, the Miami Hurricanes are still a major NFL pipeline, it turns out that more former 'Canes will playing in the AFC and NFC championship games this weekend than any other school. Which shouldn't be to ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Once Again Have Most Alumni Selected to Pro Bowl

Another Pro Bowl, another year in which the Miami Hurricanes have more former players selected than the Miami Dolphins had current players selected.The 'Canes had six alumni selected to the star-studded game, which ties with Tennessee for the most from any college program.

Dolphins Fall to Niners 27-13

The Miami Dolphins have shown a knack all season for hanging with good teams only to vomit into their own pants when the game is on the line. It happened last week against the Patriots and it happened again yesterday against the 49ers as the Dolphins lost 27-13, despite being a field goal away from ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus 49ers

So it comes to this: your Miami Dolphins take that loooong west coast flight to face the 8-3 San Francisco 49ers. A few weeks ago this looked like a great matchup: a rising Dolphins team with playoff hopes facing the one-time object of our affection, Jim Harbaugh, and the team he turned us down for. ... More >>

Patriots Top Dolphins 23-16 As Tannehill Struggles

Going into Sunday's contest there was a feeling the Patriots' offense could easily drop 60 points on the Dolphins' atrocious secondary. Instead, Tom Brady had probably his worst game of the season, the defense kept the Fins in it for most of the game and rookie QB Ryan Tannehill had the kind of up-a ... More >>

Stinky Phins

Gay Athletes Go Public

50 Reasons Why Miami Is Better Than Every City on Bloomberg's 50 Best Cities List

Bloomberg Businessweek recently decided to count down the top 50 best cities in America, and Miami doesn't even make their list.They even based their rankings on attributes like leisure activities (including bars, restaurants, and sports teams), and clean air. So, you'd think we'd at least make it o ... More >>

The Ten Most Famous University of Miami Dropouts

Lots of successful people have degrees from the University of Miami. Everyone from Gloria Estefan to, like, 10 percent of the NFL. But some of the school's most famous former students never graduated -- either opting to transfer or quit college altogether. Current UM kids, don't take this as inspira ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Will Star in HBO's Hard Knocks Reality Show

What does a celebrity do when they need a quick jolt of publicity to revive a fading career? Reality TV, of course. What does a sports team desperately in need of some public goodwill and attention do when they're being overshadowed in their own city? Apparently, the exact same thing.The Miami Dolph ... More >>

Jacory Harris Cut from Philadelphia Eagles

Quarterback U? Not anymore. It seems Jacory Harris' NFL fate is starting to look like a lot of other recent former University of Miami quarterbacks, as Harris was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles' roster just ten days after having been signed by the team.

King of Diamonds: How America's Favorite Black Strip Club Won Its Crown

Click for King of Diamonds cover shoot outtakes.

Miami Dolphins Cornerback Vontae Davis's Brother Arrested, Suspected in D.C. Murder

After 29 years of questionable first-round draft picks, the Miami Dolphins picked up Texas A&M Quarterback Ryan Tannehill at yesterday's NFL Draft.  For fans and players alike, the day should've been a celebration, a glimmer of hope that the Dolphins' upcoming season wouldn't end miserably. ... More >>

Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>

WSVN Still Fighting with DirectTV, but Subscribers Will Get to See American Idol and NFL

If you're a DirectTV subscriber in South Florida you haven't been able to see Fox since last weekend. That's because Sunbeam Television Corp., the owners of Fox affiliate WSVN, are locked in a battle with DirectTV over the amount of money the satellite provider pays the station. That means ... More >>

Joe Rose, Jorge Sedano, Sid Rosenberg are racists

Jacory Harris Deserves Credit and an Apology For Racially Biased Sportswriting

​Luther "Luke" Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell wonders when Jacory Harris will get his due.The sports media in South Florida is really one-sided. None of the ... More >>

Miami Ranked 8th Most Walkable City in U.S. by People Who Apparently Don't Live in Miami

Bobak Ha'Eri via wikimedia commonsLittle Havana, a pedestrian paradise according to Walk ScoreWalking anywhere in Miami often feels like running the trenches in World War I: randomly placed barbed wire tears at your clothing, errant bombs -- or in this case, cars -- send you diving into muddy ditche ... More >>

95 Express: Pay more, get injured, wait in traffic

Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach.  The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>

Seven Reasons the Miami Heat Deserve to Finish off the Boston Celtics

​The Miami Heat travel to Boston tomorrow to try and begin finishing off the Boston Celtics in round two of the NBA playoffs. Yet, the team still can't shake it's perception of the villains, and lots of Heat haters will be rooting for the Celtics to pull off a comeback out of spite. Yet, the histo ... More >>

Barry Jenkins: Borscht Film Fest's real star

Dolphins Really Interested in Cam Newton, But Should They Bother?

​Controversial but undeniably talented former Auburn quarterback Cam Newton is taking the unusual step of hosting his own Pro Day in San Francisco today, but will only open the display to the media and not NFL scouts. It's the latest odd PR step in a career that's been full of them, but it apparen ... More >>

Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

Dolphins Trade Justin Smiley to Jaguars

Smiley had a lot of fans in the Bear community (no, not Chicago fans)​Local fans of Miami Dolphins guard Justin Smiley are about to be (pun warning) frown-y. He's headed up I95 to the Jacksonville Jaguars. As for what the Dolphins are getting in return, no one seems to know yet. Do the Jags have a ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Draft Wrap-up

​The Miami Dolphins entered the NFL draft with a plethora of needs, most notably at outside linebacker, safety, nose tackle and tight end. They spent their first pick on a defensive end, while pulling the ole switch-a-roo on us and moving Randy Starks to the defensive tackle position. PING! Defens ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog

​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

Dolphins Trade Ted Ginn Jr. to the 49ers

via Ed Yourdon/Wiki Commons cc2.0​We had such hopes for Ted Ginn Jr., but the guy just didn't live up to them. Hell, we suggested after his game-losing, disastrous performance against the Saints last year the only way he could make it up to the Miami community was by swimming to Cuba and personall ... More >>

More Gerald Posner Plagiarism in Miami Babylon, From New Times, PBS, and Many Others

Back on March 16, Riptide broke the news that South Beach-based author Gerald Posner's latest book, Miami Babylon, had stolen eight passages from Frank Owen's 2003 work Clubland. photo by Bill Cooke New Times and a doctoral student have found more than a dozen new instances of plagi ... More >>

Report: Mike Nolan Signs as Dolphins Defensive Coordinator

After being turned down by their first two picks, the Miami Dolphins have signed Mike Nolan as their new defensive coordinator, according to FoxSports.com. Nolan resigned Monday from the same position with the Denver Broncos and was previously DC under Bill Parcells when he was general man ... More >>

Joey Porter Resurrects the Fins, Entertains the Nation

It's Peezy time in the city.

Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday's Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some ... More >>

News Roundup

Dodging this shoe was like the most awesome thing President Bush has done in years. It kind of makes you remember why so many Americans wanted to have a beer with him in the first place. [AFP]Myriam Marquez wrote this horribly mean thing about Charlie Crist's wedding, and failed to make even one ... More >>

Weekend Football: Three-Ways and 49ers

San Francisco 49ers @ Miami Dolphins, 1 p.m. on Fox.Your Miami Dolphins are involved in a hot, sexy three-way with the New York Jets and the New England Patriots, but no one can decide who's going to be on top ... of the AFC East division. The menage-a-trois may very well climax when Miami meet the ... More >>

Dolphins Reloaded

The weather’s fine for fans to come on out.

Jake Long Is Not Too Fired Up About Becoming a Dolphin The Dolphins' Schedule

Let's Talk Free Agents: Defense

Letters from the Issue of August 18, 2005

Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking

Friends in Low Places

The feds suspect that Tony Martin, Miami native and NFL star, helped his childhood pal launder drug proceeds

Cyber Stakes

South Florida is at the heart of the Internet gambling boom -- and of the war to stop it

Calendar for the week