Ronnie Brown

Chad Johnson's Dismissal Shows the Miami Dolphins Are Hypocrites

Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

Reggie Bush Likely Headed to Miami

via Facebook​New Orleans running back Reggie Bush could be headed to Miami. A potential deal to bring Bush -- who won a Super Bowl ring during his most recent game in Miami -- was reportedly hammered out by Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland and agent Joel Segal. The final sticking point ... More >>

Pressure on Dolphins to Draft First Round Quarterback For First Time Since 1983

​No team in the NFL has gone as many years without drafting a quarterback in the first round than the Miami Dolphins. The last time they did the year was 1983 and the man was Dan Marino, which, of course, made drafting a quarterback not much of a concern for much of the next two decades. Thoug ... More >>

Dolphins Implode Against Lions, Finish Season 1-7 At Home

​With no playoffs and no hope left for this season, the Dolphins entered a pretty meaningless game against the Detroit Lions on Sunday, all things considered. There was very little to be gained from a win other than to say they didn't lose to the Detroit Lions. But that didn't lessen the sting whe ... More >>

Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

Dolphins Take Down Packers in Overtime

​Your Miami Dolphins were able to outlast an undermanned Green Bay Packers in a 23-20 overtime win on the road. As usual, the Dolphins kept things interesting, allowing an injury-riddled Packers team to keep things closer than they really should've been. Probably because the Dolphins didn't want t ... More >>

Dolphins at the Packers on Sunday: Keys To Victory

​This week, the Miami Dolphins travel to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to face the Packers. Wisconsin, the state that gave us cheese, and Vince Lombardi, and cheese! Want to go to a place that makes Minnesota look exotic? Want to visit a place where the highlight of your trip is visiting the State Capitol ... More >>

Dolphins Defense Leads the Way in Big Win Over Vikings

​Everyone had the Miami Dolphins going into Minnesota and getting their asses handed to them by Brett Favre and the Vikings. But when it came down to it, the Fins executed a simple two-part game plan against the supposed Super Bowl contenders to perfection. For the offense: No screw ups by Chad He ... More >>

Defeat the Douchebags

Miami Dolphins Start the Season With an Ugly Win

​The Miami Dolphins offense lurched their way through yesterday's season-opener against the Buffalo Bills, managing to score only one touchdown and two field goals in their 15-10 victory. But the Dolphins defense stepped up large with three sacks while holding the Bills' offense to 189-total yards ... More >>

Dolphins' Phillip Merling Arrested for Allegedly Hitting Pregnant Woman

​Defensive end Phillip Merling is sitting in Broward County Jail this morning, charged with aggravated battery on a woman. What's worse is the woman he's accused of attacking was pregnant, and records show Merling either was aware or should have been aware of the pregnancy.The 25-year-old was arre ... More >>

There Is No Need to Pray Before Reading Your Morons of the Week

Today, a rare Anti-Moron of the Week is awarded to the mystery football player who recently told serial proselytizer Tim Tebow to "Shut the fuck up" when he asked for a pre-Wonderlic prayer at the NFL combine. While there's no guarantee it will indeed cause Tebow to STFU in the future, one ... More >>

Drunk Dolphin Ronnie Brown Almost Hit an Oncoming Vehicle

​Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown's blood alcohol level was almost twice the legal limit when he was arrested for DUI last weekend in suburban Atlanta. Now reports suggest the football player lied to police and narrowly missed a head-on collision with another vehicle. Brown was dr ... More >>

Ronnie Brown Arrested for DUI

​Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence this weekend, and unlike the majority of athlete DUI arrests we hear about it didn't happen on South Beach and did not involve a Bentley.Brown was arrested near Atlanta in his home town late Friday, accor ... More >>

Miami Dolphins' Tony Sparano is a conservative coach who takes huge risks

Miami Dolphins in the Thick of It

​If we had told you before this game started that the Dolphins would only manage to score 14 points in the first half, zero points in the second half, turn the ball over three times in enemy territory, but will still win the game, you would have stabbed us in the spleen with a No. 2 pencil and gon ... More >>

One if by LandShark, Two if by Sea

Ricky Williams and His Amazing Feats of Ass-Kickery

​First things first: Ricky Williams is now officially the Ambassador of Fucking Your Shit Up and Knocking Fools' Dicks Into the Dirt after last night's brilliant 119-yard, three-touchdown performance. Many had their doubts about the Dolphins' ability to effectively run the ball without Ronnie Brow ... More >>

News Roundup: Is Michelle Spence-Jones Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Michelle Spence-Jones will run for the commission seat she just got kicked out of. [Herald]President Obama answered a Cuban dissident blogger's questions. [NBCMiami]The Miami Herald's website has a special section devoted to The Twilight Saga: New Moon: Erotic Literature for Teenage Girls. Hey, ... More >>

News Roundup: Second Liberty City Seven Member Sentenced; Ronnie Brown Out for Season

In the Liberty City Seven trial, 26-year-old Rotschild Augustine yesterday was sentenced to seven years in jail. [CBS4]So, a survey says MIA is one of the top five airports in the world to get stuck in. [CBS4]The 17-year-old accused of stabbing and killing a Coral Gables Senior High c ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: Win or Call It a Season

​And so we come to this. Sitting at 4-5, the Miami Dolphins face a must-win situation tonight as take on the equally desperate (and some would say equally craptastic) 4-5 Carolina Panthers. The winner will experience the sweet taste of being a .500 team for the first time this season while embarki ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: Avast Ye Ass Kickers!

​So, the Dolphins clearly cannot hang with the likes of the Colts, Saints, Falcons or Patriots. We get that. But this Sunday, the Fins host what is most likely the worst team in the NFL this side of Detroit - the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And while Miami does have the better team on paper, this just f ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: One Insufferable Fanbase Down, One To Go

​When last we saw our Miami Dolphins, they were busy beating the bejesus out of the shitdipping trash-talking New York Jets, and silencing their shitdipping trash-talking fans in the process. It was one of the most satisfying wins in recent memory. Jason Taylor was able to talk some trash of his o ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Implode Against New Orleans Saints

​When a team leads 24-10 at the half while having forced three turnovers, combined for five sacks and rushed for 128 yards and four touchdowns, that team will, more often than not, end up the victor. But this is the Miami Dolphins. Normal rules need not apply. This is Suck Country. The Fins could ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: What Might Have Been

​For all the varied assortment of gargantuan shit stains Nick Saban left on the Dolphins' proverbial bed, no shit stain was as big a shit stain as the shit stain he left in the form of not signing Drew Brees when the Chargers made him available. Instead, Saban went with Daunte Culpepper. The rest ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Foes Vanquished, Obnoxious Fanbase Silenced, Everything's Beautiful!

​The Miami Dolphins coaching staff must be avid readers of Riptide. Because they pretty much ran down the checklist of our three keys for a Dolphins victory post and came out on top with a thrilling, last second 31-27 victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. You're welcome, everybody!It was ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!

​You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington's shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the ... More >>

Snowflake Returns

Two Dolphins Headed to Pro Bowl, but Not Pennington

So the Pro Bowl selections were announced and your Miami Dolphins snagged two spots on the AFC team. Beloved trash talker Joey Porter will be one of the starting outside linebackers, while Ronnie Brown will serve as a reserve running back. One of the biggest snubs? Chad Pennington, who has been havi ... More >>

Because Sometimes Winning Ugly Beats Not Winning At All

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

Don't Be Afraid to Make Them Punt or Anything

The Patriots punted once in the entire game during yesterday's 48-28 win over the Dolphins. Once. New England's offense totaled 530 yards -- the most the Dolphins defense has allowed since 1995. You could still catch brand new episodes of Seinfeld the last time the Dolphins allowed that many yards. ... More >>

Next Stop: Carnage

The suddenly resurgent Dolphins take on the hated Patriots.

Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

Party Like It’s 1993

The Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins renew their rivalry in a must-win game.

Holy Crap! They Won?

The Dolphins beat the Pats! Now it’s the Chargers’ turn.

The Dolphins Would Like to Invite the Naysayers to Eat a Dick Sandwich

Picking First Sucks

2008 Dolphins Mock Draft

JT Says He Is Staying (And Other Crap)

Unleash the Power of the Mormon

Hankerin For Some D-Mac

Fins Swim Homeward

Let’s hope they can win on their own turf

Dolphins on Path to Winless Season

Swim for the Win

Will the Fins Get Raided?

Not if you wear your lucky underwear and support the team

The Stars Come Out for Miami Live

Swimming with Dolphins

Stormin' the Ship