Hope you're psyched for Opening Day, Miami! Your hometown Marlins are off to a roaring start. If by "roaring," you mean they're tied for the worst record in baseball, have scored just 14 runs in six games, and are so desperate for a first-baseman they held open auditions yesterday, that is.Just in c ... More >>
In the first shutout of the young MLB season, the Miami Marlins fell to the Washington National 0-2 today, but fans of schadenfreude only have one number on their mind: 20. That would give the Marlins the single longest losing streak in the post-wildcard era. If anyone can top the 2005 Kansas City R ... More >>
Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins -- only completely different! If you're anything like me, you're angry, you're hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, "Hey, that's a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey Loria!" But hear me out, we got ... More >>
Yunel Escobar promised to be the strip-mined Miami Marlins' most interesting player next year. The Cuban shortstop had loads of talent, plus an unmatched ability to act incredibly dumb -- like last season, when he was suspended for writing the anti-gay slur "Tu Ere Maricon" on his eyeblack.Well, Esc ... More >>
One year after the taxpayers of Miami-Dade gave Jeffrey Loria a brand new, $560 million ballpark, he's already given up even pretending to field a major league baseball team. In one of the largest salary dumps in the history of baseball, the Marlins are reportedly shipping basically every player on ... More >>
Ozzie Guillen came to Miami as the new Marlins manager just over a year ago. What followed was a Fidel Castro controversy, a lot of odd outbursts, and yet another season of typical Marlins disappointment. Now, with three years and $7.5 million left on his contract, the Marlins have officially fired ... More >>
Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court
stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami
New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise
in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to
set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>
"You're trying to talk to me about earned run averages? During The War we earned all of our runs, I'll tell you that."They were doing so well. After an atrocious June, the Florida Marlins got a new great-grandfather manager, won a long string of games and were creeping back toward .500.Then into ... More >>
Denis BrancroftYour Florida Marlins just finished their interleague series with the Texas Rangers last night. Good thing the World Cup and NBA Finals were on all week, because -- holy crap -- was it ugly. Here's how it all went down:Game 1 -- Rangers 3, Marlins 2: Matt Treanor's revenge! Former M ... More >>
Wikimedia Commons via user Djh57.
If Hanley Ramirez does some amazing shit but nobody's there to see it... it's still amazing.They live, as quietly as cloistered monks, among us. They wash our dogs, write our blogs, prepare our taxes, and, you know, do other things people do for a living. ... More >>
Hanley has been a one-man band and without protection, teams will pitch around him.The Marlins' three game sweep of the Padres couldn't have come at a better time. The Fish had lost three devastating games to the Phillies at home and trailed last year's champions by seven games ... More >>
For the 500th consecutive game, Boston's Fenway Park was sold out, and if the Red Sox continue to play like they did in Wednesday's 6-1 victory over the Marlins, they will sell out 500 more.
The Red Sox certainly weren't spectacular, but they capitalized on every opportunity the Marlins handed them ... More >>
Time to shave that Rasputin-length win-beard. The Marlins are at last back in the win column after a season start that can only be described as more confusing than Charlie Crist's sexuality.via Wikipedia CommonsEven with Han-Ram on the bench, the streak ended.Somehow the Fish won 11 freaking games b ... More >>
Wikimedia CommonsOur win beard is becoming unruly.
We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not ... More >>
With all the hullaballo and hubbub over the giant tax-pit ... um ... new Marlins Stadium proposal, it's easy to forget that the Fish are still a baseball team and the new season is almost upon us. It's a shame, really. For true baseball fans, Spring Training is the best time of the year. Everyone's ... More >>