Rick Santorum

Poll: Marco Rubio Is Republicans' Favorite for 2016 Prez Run, Jeb Bush Second

So, just in case Mitt Romney fails to deliver, Public Policy Polling decided to jump way ahead of things and conducted a poll asking Republican voters who they'd like to see as their candidate in 2016. Surprisingly, two politicians from Florida took the top two spots: Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush. Rubio ... More >>

Controversial Pastor O'Neal Dozier's Scheme to Enrich Africa

Mitt Romney's Stumping In Miami at Eatery Owned By Convicted Coke Smuggler

Today, Mitt Romney is foregoing a Miami political campaign tradition by skipping over Versailles restaurant in Little Havana. Instead, Mittens will be hobnobbing with a convicted cocaine smuggler. The Republican presidential candidate is holding an afternoon rally at Palacios de los Jugos at 7085 Co ... More >>

Best Coast at Grand Central July 10

Mitt Romney Gets Stuck With Rick Scott's Endorsement

Congratulations, Mitt Romney! You've won the least sought-after endorsement in the Republican Party. Perennially unpopular Florida Gov. Rick Scott officially endorsed Romney today just hours after Rick Santorum announced he was suspending his campaign -- a move that finally leaves Romney a ... More >>

Publix Ranks Third Among National Supermarket Chains

Looks like the South has something else to boast about besides voting for Rick Santorum. The cover story in the May 2012 issue of Consumer Reports ranks Publix third out of a total of 52 national supermarket chains. A total of 24,203 shoppers were surveyed about service, quality of meats and produce ... More >>

Q Poll: Rick Scott's Approval Numbers Down Again, Obama Leads Republicans

​Man, Rick Scott can't catch a break. Back in January his approval rating was 38 percent. Yeah, that's still pathetic, but for Scott they were amazing and perhaps a sign his popularity could be improving. Well, no such luck. In the latest Quinnipiac Poll he was back down to 36 percent. Meanwhile, ... More >>

Jeb Bush Endorses Mitt Romney, Finally

​In what is perhaps a sign that some in the GOP establishment are growing wary off the drawn-out Republican presidential primary and are ready to rally around a frontrunner, former Florida governor Jeb Bush broke his neutral stance this morning and officially endorsed Mitt Romney.

Gay porn filmed on bus routes has Miami-Dade Transit in a tizzy

Gay Porn Filmed On Public Bus Route; Miami-Dade Transit Isn't Pleased

​If you're a non-horny commuter who uses the Dade County Route 73 bus, please drop us a line. We're starting to think the only people taking public transportation from Kendall to Miami Lakes are buff, shaved dudes who don't see any problem with trading a litany of carnal favors for a $2 bus ride. ... More >>

Jeb Bush Should Get Into Presidential Race, Top GOP Senator Says

​The Republican primary is officially in chaos now with Rick Santorum surging and topping Mitt Romney in some national polls. The former Pennsylvania senator is even leading in Romney's home state of Michigan, but some in the GOP establishment aren't quite sure Santorum is presidential material. O ... More >>

Marco Rubio Tops Vice Presidential Poll

Marco Rubio has certainly been mentioned several times by Republican candidates as a possible running mate, and it appears that GOP voters agree. Fairleigh Dickinson University released the findings of a poll today in which they asked 799 registered Republicans across the country who they'd like to ... More >>

Free Events This Week: TweetUp, Get Low, Strut

​February has been a pretty rough month thus far. In the past 12 days alone, The Real Housewives of Miami has been confirmed for a second season; we found out everyone is cheating on everyone; and Rick Santorum won three caucuses, which is just...we can't.In the spirit of improving the remainder o ... More >>

Strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill evaluate the Republican contenders

Mitt Romney Staffers Tossed Supporter From Hialeah Rally For "Anti-Mormon" Coffee Sign

​When Alan Reynolds learned Mitt Romney would be holding a rally in Hialeah last week, the local conservative was ecstatic: Not only could he see his favorite GOP contender in person, he could unleash the perfect sign. "My wife is Cuban-American, he's holding a rally at a Hialeah lunch spot, so I ... More >>

Dear Ron Paul, You Can Stop Existing Now (In Politics)

​Note: We don't want Ron Paul to stop existing from this earthly plane, Paul-heads. We want him to stop existing in politics, in the Herman Cain way.Click here to read our favorite comments left on this blog. Ron Paul, the frantic and slightly unnerving uncle at Thanksgiving dinner who won't shut ... More >>

Strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill Analyze the Florida Republican Primary

​Early morning yesterday, Miami super-strippers Skrawberry (left) and Tip Drill vaulted to the top of the political punditry heap when they crashed a South Beach filming of Morning Joe. With the Florida primary vote going down today, we caught up with these acrobatic pole-dancing Howard Zinns for ... More >>

Drunk Miami Republicans Rally For Santorum and Rick Scott

Jacob KatelRick Santorum vs Victor Gonzalez​Alcohol impairs your judgment? Screw it, we'll have a shot of whiskey, a beer, and a Latin Builders Association membership application.Starting early Friday morning in downtown Miami, the LBA invited guests to drink their way to Decision 2012, offering 2 ... More >>

Rick Santorum "Visibly Exhausted," Losing Badly, Leaving Florida Saturday

photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons​At last, an explanation for why Rick Santorum has been acting so unhinged in the Sunshine State, from inviting an ex-Yahweh ben Yahweh member to open his campaign rally last weekend to making truly bizarre proclamations about rape: Turns out he's really ... More >>

Quiz: Can You Spot the Real Republican Tweet?

​We'd been obsessively tracking the Republican presidential candidates on the campaign trail for weeks when something strange happened. The words coming out of their mouths started to sound like, well, a joke. From statements at debates to sound bytes on CNN, each politician seemed to be subtly pa ... More >>

Five Fictional Republicans We'd Rather See Campaigning in Florida This Week

Our fellow Floridians, another round of primary elections is upon us and with it comes the usual sleazy political drama. Attack ads clog our airwaves; politicians deliver lofty promises they can't keep; and national news organizations have another chance to bring up the "hanging chad" incident.This ... More >>

Mitt Romney must be destroyed: 15 reasons to stop the Mormon cyborg

Victoria Jackson's excellent Tea Party adventure

Rick Santorum Tells Florida Audience Colleges Are Basically Evil Parts of a Vast Liberal Conspiracy

​Increasingly distant third place candidate Rick Santorum is desperately trying to jump start his campaign, so he's come out with a bold new attack on the Obama administration: college is evil."It's no wonder President Obama wants every kid to go college," Santorum told an audience in Naples, Flor ... More >>

Where To Glitter-bomb (Or Applaud) Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney In Miami Today

​The two leading lights of the Republican primary are stumping for votes all over the Magic City today, leading to the obvious question: When is someone from the Florida gay rights movement going to glitter-bomb these guys?We're not saying it's the right thing to do, throwing glitter all over Newt ... More >>

Newt Gingrich Calls for New Cold War With Cuba, Ron Paul Says One Was Enough

15 years out of government and Newt's still crazy​The 3 a.m. phone call has struck again. In tonight's GOP primary debate, NBC anchor Bryan Williams asked the candidates what they would do if told that Fidel Castro had finally died and "half a million Cubans" were on their way to the United States ... More >>

Five Freaky Republican Presidential Candidates' Doppelgängers

​The nationwide comedy tour known as the Republican presidential race is in Florida this week. Over several months, rich candidates have perfected the game of politics in their quest for the Republican Party's nomination and the chance to go up against President Barack Obama in November. Pr ... More >>

Mitt Romney Is a Flip-Flopping Racist Cyborg (And 14 Other Reasons Florida Must Destroy Him)

Rick Perry has dropped out of the race and returned to Racial Slur Hideaway, Herman Cain is now making unwanted advances on his housecats, Rick Santorum's last name is a synonym for booty juice, and Newt Gingrich is an angry, sexed-up troll with facial hemorrhoids. Even with Newt's victory in Sout ... More >>

Rick Santorum Invites Ex-Yahweh Member Michael The Black Man To Open Rally (Video)

via You TubeMichael the Black Man rallies for Santorum on Sunday.​After stinging losses in New Hampshire and South Carolina, Rick Santorum came to Florida this weekend hoping to reboot his push toward the White House. But the ex-senator may want to vette his opening acts a bit better: At a Coral S ... More >>

Adulterer Newt Gingrich Hopes Bible Thumpers Help Him in Florida

Will Florida's Evangelical voters line up behind a thrice-divorced serial adulterer with, reportedly, a thing for open marriages? Newt Gingrich's campaign sure thinks so, and hopes that Mitt Romney's flip-floppy past on things like gay marriage and abortion seals the deal with values voter ... More >>

Newt Gingrich Wanted an Open Marriage, Claims His Ex-Wife

​It's a big day in the GOP primary. Rick Perry, once perceived as a conservative savior has dropped out after one of the most hilariously horribly run candidacies of all time. Meanwhile, Rick Santorum has been revealed as the real winner of the Iowa Caucus. And yet, probably the juiciest news come ... More >>

Mitt Romney is racist

Romney, Santorum, Gingrinch, and Paul Are All About the Whites

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell rates the racist credentials of the Republican Party presidential nominees. What happened to the party of Abraham Lin ... More >>

Mitt Romney Retakes Big Lead in Florida, Floridians Really Don't Like Ron Paul

​After a brief spell where Florida Republicans seemed to favor Newt Ginrgrich as their GOP flavor of the month, Mitt Romney is firmly back on top in the Sunshine State after his Iowa caucus victory. Gingrich remains second, while Rick Santorum has seen his fortunes rise somewhat but is still a dis ... More >>

Xavier Suarez and Joe Carollo Endorse Newt Gingrich

​Turns out Xavier Suarez and Joe Carollo can actually agree on something: they like Newt Gingrich. They've both been announced as members of Gingrich's Florida Steering Committee. Then again, it only makes sense that two guys who saw their political careers take embarrassing stumbles in the '90s w ... More >>

Mitt Romney Takes the Slightest of Leads in Latest Florida Poll

​The story of the 2012 presidential primary seems to be one of surging candidates quickly falling down to earth, with one, Mitt Romney, remaining consistently stable. It's beginning to look like Newt Gingrich might join Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain as a discarded frontrunner. Aft ... More >>

Republican Presidential Candidates As Foods

J. Kenji Lopez-AltLadies and Gentlemen, meet Governor Rick Perry!​Barbara Walters once infamously asked Katherine Hepburn: "If you were a tree, what kind would it be?" It is in that spirit that we attempt to figure out: If each Republican Presidential candidate were a food, what kind would he or s ... More >>

Poll: Romney and McCallister Lead Florida GOP Primaries; Debt Deal Hurts Obama

​We're still in that uncertain season of the 2012 election cycle where every poll will show some different and somewhat surprising result. Quinnipiac is the latest to crunch the numbers and shows that Mitt Romney is the favorite to get the presidential nod from Republican voters in Florida. Meanwh ... More >>

Mitt Romney is the GOP Front-Runner in Florida, Maybe

Mittens in guayabera. ​Back in 2008, Mitt Romney came in second place to John McCain in Florida's GOP primary, a loss that signaled the beginning of the end for his campaign. Perhaps though the Sunshine State could prove warmer to Romney's presidential hopes a second time around. A new poll from M ... More >>

Wyclef Jean May Have Wasted Angelina Jolie's Preggers Donation On Carnival Float

​In his young bid to become Haiti's next president, Wyclef Jean has already weathered more criticism than Rick Santorum at a Dan Savage house party. Mostly, he's been hammered for his record running Yéle, his charity, which paid hundreds of thousands in fishy fees to Wyclef himself or his friends ... More >>

Miller Dawkins's name on Miami parks and pool makes few waves

Liberty City Park Still Named After Corrupt City Commissioner

A park in Liberty City still bears the name of a former city commissioner jailed for corruption.​To most in Miami, the name Miller Dawkins just sounds a little dirty: like smegma, street tacos, or the infamous Rick Santorum. But to residents of Liberty City, Dawkins remains a hero more than 13 yea ... More >>

Animal Instincts

Zoophiles love and have sex with animals. Will the world ever accept them?

Bush in the Closet?

The Passion of the Bono

U2's frontman challenges Jesus for the title "King of Kings"

Only Himself to Blame