Port of Miami

Rick Scott Suddenly Wants Barack Obama's Handouts

Perhaps the definitive moment of Rick Scott's governorship was his decision to axe a federally funded high speed rail line in Florida, but that doesn't mean he's totally opposed to asking for federal handouts. In advance of Obama's visit to the Port of Miami today, Scott blasted the administration a ... More >>

Holy Ship!!! 2014 Announces Dates, New Vessel, Departing From Port of Miami

Holy Effing Ship!!! Those three exclamation points signify three years for electronic dance music's raddest four-day party cruise. (It ain't just bad grammar or Internet-y hyperbole.) Coincidentally, though, we're exactly that beat-freaking excited about the 2014 edition of Hard Events' EDM humpf ... More >>

Rick Ross: Calm Down or End Up Like Biggie

Sydney Blu, Boris, and Darude's Predictions for Epicness Aboard Groove Cruise 2013

"What happens on the ship stays on the ship!" Those are the rules of Groove Cruise, according to founder Jason Beukema. And today, for the ninth straight year, electronic dance music fanatics and so-called "exotic destination experience junkies" will be sailing out to sea in pursuit of EDM epicn ... More >>

KISS Kruise II Departing from Miami on Halloween, Pre-Party at Grand Central

Black makeup, platform shoes, and leather pants are seldom worn on the high seas. But once a year, the KISS Navy throws a bash aboard a luxury vessel and encourages folks to dress like their favorite 1970s rock stars. Skippered by Admiral Gene Simmons and Co-Commanding Officer Paul Stanley, KISS K ... More >>

Top Chef Cruise Adds Fabio Viviani, Hubert Keller Dance Party

Once again the good people at Bravo have found a way to delight us and scare the pants off of us at the same time. The cable network that has given us all those Real Housewives, Rachel Zoe, and Padma Lakshmi know how to put on a good train wreck. So now it's time for the most awesome shipwreck of al ... More >>

Pitbull, The Actor, Debuts in Blood Money, a Hyperviolent Shaolin Drug Flick Set in Miami

Ever since stepping off la esquina, Mr. 305 has harbored deep hopes of becoming Mr. Hollywood. So whenever he hasn't been too busy honing his craft in Bud Light commercials or buttering up movie biz elites with personalized remixes of the Men in Black III theme, this budding thespian has dedicated ... More >>

Top Chef Cruise Sets Sail From Miami in April

Calling all Miami Top Chef fans. Clear your calendars because you're about to set sail on the Top Chef cruise.That's right, mateys. Top Chef: The Cruise sets sail April 11, 2013 from the Port of Miami. The cruise, on board the Celebrity Constellation, will give fans of the Bravo cooking competition ... More >>

Mayhem Cruise 2012 Announces Lineup: Lamb of God, Machinehead, Anthrax, Hatebreed

Caution: If you're an old lady looking for a relaxing weekend of easy listening on an ocean liner, you may as well kill yourself. The Mayhem Cruise 2012 is pure brutality. This inaugural Atlantic-bound metal fest will crush, punish, destroy, and burn down every other music cruise's lineup. And when ... More >>

Hector Pesquera, Port of Miami Security Director, Named Puerto Rico's Chief of Police

​A decade ago, Hector Pesquera was rumored to be a top candidate for Miami Police chief. Instead, the former FBI man -- perhaps dogged by questionable ties to convicted felons -- embarked on ever more obscure positions: first as head of the Broward Sheriff's Office, lately as head of security for ... More >>

Corrosion of Conformity With Holly Hunt, Consular, and Shroud Eater at Grand Central Miami, March 19

Corrosion of Conformity​ With Holly Hunt, Consular, and Shroud Eater Grand Central Monday, March 19, 2012 Louder Than: Volcanoes, stampedes, and a skirmish in the valleys of Afghanistan. Can someone please explain how Corrosion of Conformity ended up playing an only-show-in-Florida date at G ... More >>

Border Patrol Seizes 3,614 Dangerous Hair Dryers at Port of Miami

​You can thank U.S. Costums and Border Patrol for the fact that you won't blow your face off next time you're trying to blow your weave out. The Department of Homeland Security agency recently seized a shipment of potentially killer hair dryers at the Port of Miami.

Pitbull Cancels Club 305 Cruise, Avoids Maritime Disaster

​Following Costa Concordia's horrific disaster-at-sea, competing cruise line Royal Caribbean has managed to avoid their own maritime mishap thanks to Mr. Worldwide, Pitbull. Armando Christian Perez's Club 305 Cruise has been cancelled, but questions as to why the "magical voyage" with Pitbull, P ... More >>

Bruise Cruise 2012 with Fucked Up, King Khan & the Shrines, Thee Oh Sees, and others February 10-13

Bruise Cruise 2012 Party Plan: An Unofficial, Expanded, Five-Day Guide

​Ahoy, hipsters! Welcome to the second annual Bruise Cruise Festival, "a three-day tropical rock extravaganza" set to sail outta the Port of Miami and straight for Nassau, Bahamas, like some kinda dream ship for cool kids in search of a Spring Break that doesn't suck. The passenger list: You an ... More >>

Deep Dredge Delayed: Port Officials Optimistic, Environmentalists Ready to Go the Distance

The Port of Miami's much-debated "Deep Dredge" will be delayed for months -- possibly years -- as a Tallahassee judge hears arguments for and against the project this August.Port officials tell Riptide that they are optimistic the project will still be completed on time. But a lawyer representing en ... More >>

Mickey Mouse vs. Micky Arison: Disney Bringing Cruises to Port of Miami

​Micky Arison's Carnival Cruise Lines has another Mickey with a cruise empire about to encroach on its turf. Mickey Mouse that is. Disney Cruise Line has announced that beginning later this year, it will be sail ships out of the Port of Miami for the first time.

Miami's Dirty Dozen 2011

View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.

A Guide to Trashing Taxpayers

Dummies Guide To Trashing Taxpayers: The Port Tunnel

​This week, Miami New Times published a guide to the eight of the worst public works projects in Miami-Dade, where bureaucrats and elected officials take pride in wasting millions in taxpayer dollars on crap residents have little-to-no use for. As we reveal each one of these boondoggles on Riptide ... More >>

Armchair Diver

Here's Video of Gov. Rick Scott (AKA DJ Govvy Gov) Dancing

​Now, you may think that our tall, white, lanky, bald governor could be a horrible dancer, but we have to say he moves with such grace and enthusiasm it almost moved us to tears. His feet move like finely timed fireworks in slow motion, exploding with elegant energy. He's a master of the lock step ... More >>

Groove Cruise 2012 Is 96-Percent Sold Out! Less Than 40 Cabins Left!

Via facebook.com/groovecruise​Quick, hit the fucking techno siren! Alert, alert, alert ... If all you beat freaks were planning to "GET WHET" aboard the Groove Cruise next January, there's no time to waste 'cause Crossfade has just received word that the world's largest floating dance music festi ... More >>

Paul Oakenfold and Flo Rida Join Pitbull on Club 305 Cruise

ScreenshotHey Pit, you bringing those two girls with you on the Club 305 Cruise? ​The first tidal wave of artists joining Mr. Worldwide on his Club 305 Cruise has been announced, and it's fucking huge. Electro master and commander Paul Oakenfold is joining Pitbull aboard Royal Caribbean's Majest ... More >>

The Condome: New Marlins stadium gets a rubber coating

Miami Marlins Move Into "Condome": 5 Other Buildings That Should Be Hidden Under Latex

​A few weeks ago, bigwigs at the Florida Miami Marlins announced they were putting the final touches on the team's new stadium in Little Havana. The coup de grace: a rubber membrane designed to reduce the glare off its bulbous, retractable metal roof. Soon the stadium will be shrink-wrapped i ... More >>

Lucenzo at Grand Central August 27

Miami's Curd Cowboys: Is Cheese the New Cocaine?

​On December 18, 2010, a freighter named America Feeder arrived at the Port of Miami from Nicaragua. Federal agents were secretly running surveillance on one container, marked ARLU 5102167. Five days later, the container was hitched to a truck and driven, with agents trailing, to a cold-stora ... More >>

Bruise Cruise Festival 2012 Dates and Initial Lineup Announced

via myspace.com/ohseesBruise Cruise vets Thee Oh Sees.​Good news for anyone who missed the chance to rock out ironically while simultaneously creeping out sunbathing Midwesterners this past February ... As our sister blog County Grind reported earier today, Bruise Cruise Festival organizers have a ... More >>

Bruise Cruise Travel Tip: Don't Smuggle Drugs Onto the Ship

Torben Bjorn Hansen, Flickr ​The Bruise Cruise sets sail from the Port of Miami on Friday. And while there's plenty of dope coming through Dodge Island, y'all better think twice about sneaking some out; narcs like to prey on unsuspecting travelers, especially theme cruise passengers. In January, ... More >>

The more Rick Ross lies, the more we love him

Five SoFla projects that have snorted our taxes

Florida Power & Light "Hid" Document, Settles with Longshoreman over Port of Miami Accident

FPL "hid" a document to avoid liability in a serious accident, according to a Miami-Dade judge​For a company that's in the business of providing light, FPL apparently likes to keep some things in the dark.Last month a jury found Florida Power & Light partly responsible for an accident at the P ... More >>

Castro Death Meter: Fidel is 88% Dead, 79% Insane

​What is up with El Comandante these days? Have Fidel Castro's handlers been slipping amphetamines into his banana pudding? Take a look at the rampage he's been on in the last month or so:

Port of Miami tunnel is a waste of taxpayer money

Florida City Church Goes Up in Flames

The United Methodist Church Outreach Ministry in Florida City went up in flames over the weekend, and the building was mostly destroyed. Even the church's playground, which was built a year ago, was melted to the ground.Parishioners say that they hope to rebuild the building, and are accepting don ... More >>

Biggest Cheese Bust in Memory in Miami

Alex Izaguirre​Two Hondurans were busted Monday for illegally selling diseased cheese to more than 30 people in Miami.The pair -- Francisca Josefina Lopez, 40, and Jorge Alexis Ochoa Lopez, 34 -- was nailed for importing $322,000 of the stuff from Nicaragua and then illegally reselling it. Mo ... More >>

Luke's Gospel: Legalizing marijuana will fix the economy

Legalizing Pot Will Fix the Economy

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Up this week, Luke makes the case for legalizing marijuana across the nation, beginning in Miami-Dade County.Off the bat, I am not a weed he ... More >>

Cutler Bay man smuggles cigarettes through the Port of Miami and goes to prison

News Roundup: Police Environmental Fund Used to buy SUVs

Miami-Dade public schools are on the verge of another budget crisis, one that could ultimately affect arts education. [CBS4]A fatal accident has shut down much of North-bound I-95 this morning. [WSVN]A Miami-Dade police fund set up to fight environmental crimes has been used to buy SUVs, satellite T ... More >>

Miami's Black-Market Cigarette King Pleads Guilty

Earlier this summer, New Times brought you the story of Roman Vidal, a 54-year-old Cutler Bay resident accused of funneling millions of dollars' worth of black-market cigarettes through the Port of Miami to criminal gangs in Europe.​Just before 11 a.m. today, Vidal pleaded guilty to four counts of ... More >>

News Roundup

LocalMiami commissioners will vote on whether to build a new children's courthouse today. [Herald]And F.D.O.T. is expected to finally make a decision on the Port of Miami tunnel this week. Gee, so many things are coming to a head this week. Once you commit $2.1 billion to help a private enterprise l ... More >>

Miami's Favorite Shock Jock vs 24 Hour Fitness vs Coconut Grove's Favorite Blogger

Miami's reigning number one public intellectual (and I say that with all due respect) Enrique Santos was out picketing the Shaq 24 Hour Fitness in Coconut Grove this weekend. Depending on which side of the story you believe, either he got kicked out for being a fatty in the eyes of the holy fitness ... More >>

Is the Megaplan dying? Port of Miami tunnel plan squashed

You may have heard of the Global Agreement- the ominously titled, outrageously ambitious $3 billion project that will basically solve all of Downtown Miami's debt problems, put a new Marlins stadium in Little Havana, build of Port of Miami tunnel, and cure genital warts.  Okay, we threw that last o ... More >>

Rick Ross

Port of Miami (Def Jam)

Instruments of Commerce

Wide-eyed statues tackle the music biz

Health Nuts

>Get screened and beat the blues

The Children's Museum, Inc.

New Times gives a tour of the Miami Children's Museum and its corporate exhibitisements -- for kids of all ages!

These Numbers Are Up

1998 was a great year for corruption. New Times puts a price tag on the year's malfeasance