Jack Laban swears a cat was out here raising hell just this morning. Mosquitoes slurp blood through the 94-year-old shirtless Gladesman's baggy skin as he hobbles across a landfill of empty Pepsi cans and settles into a folding chair. The former Miami plumber with a full head of white hair uses a ro ... More >>
We're sure that after yesterday the last thing you want to hear about is more taxes. But you better get ready to pay a lot more of them if you're a frequent online shopper. Amazon will start charging Floridians a sales tax on May 1, just like any brick-and-mortar store.
In the early hours of August 10, 2007, Broward Sheriff's deputy Chris Reyka was gunned down in the parking lot of a Pompano Beach drugstore. Despite a massive manhunt and a $270,000 reward, the mysterious case was never solved. Now, however, detectives believe they have their man: Shawn LaBeet, a 2 ... More >>
Two cars in every garage, boiling Gatorade in every pot, frozen alligators in every freezer, and a bunch of meth within reach of your twin babies. Isn't that the Florida dream? Wait, no, excuse us -- nightmare. Three people were arrested in Polk County after deputies found a bunch of meth, a marij ... More >>
Jacob Landis had a bike, a passion and a cause. Since April, the 24-year-old Annapolis, Maryland, resident has been biking across America to attend games at every single MLB park with the hope of raising $1 million to help children who need cochlear implants. On Saturday he was on the final leg of ... More >>
Violence erupted at a rural correctional youth academy on Saturday night over a lost bet, two basketball teams and three Cup Noodles. "It was a full blown riot," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd told ABC. "I watched them throw objects at us and our deputies. I watched them break windows."
Earlier this week, the Department of Justice slammed City of Miami cops for a string of unjustified shootings. But Miami has new competition for the title of the state's worst police department. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement is currently investigating cops in Lakeland for having copious ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke wants to see justice for Kiera Wilmot. In Bartow, Florida, public school and law enforcement officials are committing a horrible inj ... More >>
There are a lot of reasons Kiera Wilmot's story has exploded online this week. First, there's the sheer weirdness of a 16-year-old getting in huge trouble for a science experiment gone wrong. Then there's the racial aspect: A black girl -- exactly the type of kid underrepresented in the scientific s ... More >>
We here at Short Order know that sometimes you want candlelight and cloth napkins... and other times you just want to tuck a paper napkin into your collar and chow down like you were raised in Polk County. So where should you go when you've got forty bucks burning a hole in your pocket and want a bu ... More >>
Massive semi-truck crashes can run the gamut from the comical -- liquor everywhere! and milk! -- to the bizarre -- like that Chinese truck that spewed live fish all over the highway -- to the profitable, when a bank truck overturns and spews millions of coins. It's hard to think of too many pr ... More >>
The eternal war between righteous Christians and smarmy nonbelievers has a new ground zero: rural Highway 98 in Polk County, Florida. First, a religious group called Polk Under Prayer blessed the Central Florida asphalt strip with "holy oil" to protect the county from Satan, "evildoers" and "the ... More >>
Police across Florida are looking for a 19-year-old accused of killing his own grandma as brutally as possible: By stabbing her more than 100 times, beating her in the face with a wrench and even shooting her in the head with a crossbow.Jason Aristotle Smiddie has been on the run since police in ... More >>
Well, there's really no word for how disgusting and messed up this is. Robin Leigh Pagoria, a Sheriff's Deputy in Polk County, Florida, is accused of tying two young girls to a desk, spanking them with sex toys, and capturing it on video so her online boyfriend could watch. Ugh.
Florida residents are world renowned for being exceedingly logical and rational, and so now we bring you yet another tale of Floridians acting completely sane. Ellen Beth Wachs, a woman in Polk County, was feeling a little sick one day when her neighbor's son started playing a loud game of basket ... More >>
Something doesn't smell right about the actions of The Mosaic Co., a leading Florida fertilizer company. OK, nothing ever smells good about the fertilizer business, but in this sense we mean it smells politically funny. The company ended up shelling out $10,000 at a fair auction for a cake baked ... More >>
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is reporting that an elephant named P.T. attacked Ringling Bros. Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey trainer Joe Frisco Jr. while the circus was at Miami's America Airlines Arena on January 7. Ringling Bros. issued a statement Wednesday stating the ... More >>
Hear why this crusader wants to save you from the evils of gay rights
Are charter-school conversions the vanguard for public education or a scam for resegregating the learning experience and making a lot of money?
A state fraud investigator says he was punished because he tangled with U.S. Attorney Kendall Coffey
A long-time aide. A few thousand dollars' worth of dubious insurance receipts. A cauldron of allegations. U.S. Attorney Kendall Coffey has been . . . scalded
Want to know more about Jeb Bush? The machinations of Florida's Republican party? Vomiting? Get on the bus.
Whether agitating on behalf of Florida's film industry or aiming cruel barbs at state officials, ex-con activist Al Crespo is a gadfly with an attitude