Politico.com

No One Knows Who Won Florida As Miami Tries To Count Another 20,000 Absentee Ballots

All around this great country, voters woke up this morning celebrating their state's support for Barack Obama or reveling in their red-state backing of Mitt Romney. In Florida, we woke up groggy, confused and more than a little pissed about the seven hours we waited in line. The presidential electio ... More >>

Katherine Fernandez Rundle To Host Absentee Ballot Fraud Seminar In Corrupt-As-Hell Opa-Locka

Say you're Miami-Dade's top prosecutor. On Aug. 14, you easily won reelection to your sixth term. But your campaign was embarrassed by the revelation that one of your trusted campaign consultants may have previously employed a woman criminally charged with absentee ballot fraud. As a result of your ... More >>

Obama on Being Homies With Jay-Z: "We've Got a Little Bond There"

He lost "M.J. at Summer Jam" to propofol, but Jay-Z still has "Obama on the text" to keep him company. In fact, they hung out last night. President Barack Obama spent part of the evening with celebrity superfriends Jay-Z and Beyoncé, and about 100 guests of their guests at a $40,000-per-person fun ... More >>

Obama-Hugging Florida Pizza Maker Facing Boycott, Yelp Abuse

Scott Van Duzer made headlines around the world on Sunday when he lifted President Obama off the ground in a back-cracking bear hug that amazingly didn't result in a swift Tasering by Secret Service agents.The hug has resulted in Van Duzer's business becoming the most politically debated pizza shop ... More >>

Tropical Storm Isaac: On Track to Destroy the RNC In Tampa

In a story straight out of a twisted fever dream shared by Michael Bay and Aaron Sorkin -- not to mention the sick fantasies of thousands of catastrophe-seeking journalists everywhere -- Tropical Storm Isaac looks more likely than ever to strengthen into a hurricane just in time to bear down on Tamp ... More >>

Obama to Marco Rubio's Friend: "Tell Your Boy to Watch It. He Might Get His Ass Kicked"

Barack Obama's reelection campaign hasn't even hit full stride yet, and there's already an e-book that supposedly explains all the campaign's dirty secrets.Politico and Random House released "Obama's Last Stand" this morning, an e-book that among other things claims that when speculation began that ... More >>

Connie Mack IV Used to Work for Hooters and Bill Nelson Would Like You to Know

Republican Senate Candidate Connie Mack's wayward youth spent getting into bar fights and road rage incidents is well known to those who have been following this race closely, but incumbent Bill Nelson is about to blast that history across the state with an attack ad.The Nelson campaign characterize ... More >>

Is Jeb Bush Preparing His 2016 Presidential Campaign?

Jeb Bush, whose main job since leaving Florida's governor's mansion has been not running for president, will continue the busy duties of not running for president this October by keynoting the Siouxland Chamber of Commerce Annual Dinner in Sioux City, Iowa.Of course, if the American media knows one ... More >>

Your Marco Rubio for Vice President Dreams Are Almost Dead and Buried

There's never been a Floridian anywhere close to getting in the White House, and it appears Marco Rubio will not be running as vice president this year. Following earlier reports that he wasn't even being seriously considered by Mitt Romney for the spot, bits of Romney's supposed VP shortlist had le ... More >>

Marco Rubio's Wife Might Be Preparing for Role as VP's Wife

Marco Rubio's wife Jeanette has kept a relatively low profile despite her husbands growing national profile. While he's in Washington, Jeanette Rubio usually stays behind in West Miami raising the couple's four children. Though, she just gave her first extended interview in conjunction with her hubb ... More >>

Mitt Romney Not Seriously Interested in Marco Rubio as Running Mate, Politico Says

Speculation that Marco Rubio could be the GOP's 2012 vice presidential nominee dates back to pretty much his first day in office as senator, and even Mitt Romney has mentioned Rubio as a possible candidate. Politico, however, reports that Senator Rubio is not being seriously considered as a potentia ... More >>

Jeb Bush Really Doesn't Want To Be Mitt Romney's Vice President

Conservatives tittered like giddy Limbaughs last week when Jeb Bush cracked open the door toward being a vice presidential candidate by telling Newsmax that he'd "consider" Romney's overtures if they came. Rubio may be the rising star, but some in the GOP still dream lustily about a return to the Bu ... More >>

Tween Marco Rubio Was a Mormon, But Does Anyone Really Care?

​Buzzfeed, the site about cute cats and "penis size math" that apparently has a political habit on the side, is out with a new shocker about Florida Senator Marco Rubio that, according to journalist McKay Coppins, could be "potentially damaging" and complicating to Rubio's political future. Well, ... More >>

Strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill evaluate the Republican contenders

Charlie Crist Says He Might Just Vote for Obama

​What a difference four years make. Back in 2008, Charlie Crist played a crucial in the Republican primary by working to deliver Florida to John McCain. Now, in 2012, he's so fed up with shenanigans of this Primary season that according to Politico the now independent says he might just end up vot ... More >>

King of Diamonds Strippers Tip Drill and Skrawberry Crashed MSNBC's Morning Joe Today

Joe Scarborough's political news show came to South Beach this morning, and was crashed by two of Miami's most badass strippers and a presumed beef magnate. We're loyal fans of King of Diamonds' top dancer Tip Drill, who topped our prestigious list of the ten best strippers under forty. We're less ... More >>

Gingrich Lawyers Threaten Florida TV Stations Airing "False" Attack Ads; They Aren't False

​A political action committee opposing Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich just bought $3.6 million in Florida TV advertisements, according to the New York Times, and it appears the best response Gingrich can muster is something along the lines of, "Hey guys, knock it off. Th ... More >>

Republican Candidates Eats: Romney Removes Chicken Skin, Perry Calls BBQ Roadkill

​​Today the voters of New Hampshire will trudge through miserable weather and vote for their preferred Republican candidate in the presidential primary. You are probably familiar with all of the folks running by now: Newty, Mittens, Sneezy, Grumpy, etc. If they look a bit pale and green around t ... More >>

Will Jeb Bush Endorse Jon Huntsman Tomorrow in Coconut Grove?

​Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman's campaign has promised that the struggling presidential candidate will make a major announcement tomorrow at, of all place, Scotty's Landing in Coconut Grove. Our first instinct was that he'd be announcing his exit from the race, but that seems unlikely. Word is ... More >>

Matt Drudge Attacks Obama's Birthday Party, Possibly Thinks Stevie Wonder Is a Gangster Rapper

​President Barack Obama is 50! Fifty years old! Last night he celebrated the milestone with a group of political allies, close friends, a few celebrities, and musical guests. It was a far more restrained affair than President Bill Clinton's 50th birthday bash in 1996, but Miami-based conservative ... More >>

Allen West Hears People Are Going to Get Hurt, Immediately Offers To Drive

Wikimedia CommonsA debt plan, you say? GET THE CAR.​House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) showed an inspirational clip from a movie at a closed-door Republican meeting Tuesday. It wasn't from Rudy, nor was it the snow-jogging montage from Rocky IV. It was from The Town, about Ben Affleck tr ... More >>

Bill Clinton Calls Rick Scott's Felon Disfranchisement Rules Racist and Politically Motivated

Not very many people in Florida like Governor Rick Scott, so we really didn't expect former democratic President Bill Clinton to like the guy much either. While speaking at a conference for young progressive activists in D.C. today, Clinton called out Scott's effort to strip voting rights from convi ... More >>

Florida State Rep. Luis Garcia Rumored to Challenge David Rivera in 2012

​Considering Rep. David Rivera is under numerous investigations for scandals that, in the grand scheme of things, are far more serious than sending pictures of your junk to ladies on Twitter, it was a given that the Democrats would run a serious campaign against him in 2012. Now it appears the Dem ... More >>

Will Any GOP 2012 Candidate Even Want Rick Scott's Endorsement?

​Here's a fun game to watch play out as several announced and potential candidates for the Republican's 2012 presidential primary start visiting Florida: will any of them meet with Governor Rick Scott let alone seek his endorsement? Former Utah Governor and ambassador to China John Huntsman is ... More >>

Marco Rubio and Bill Nelson Want Feds to Crack Down on Porn

​Regulating what America whacks off to has not been a chief concern of the Obama administration. But now a group of 42 senators have sent a letter to Attorney General Eric Holder complaining that his justice department hasn't been keeping a close enough eye on the mainstream adult pornography busi ... More >>

David Rivera's Office Tries and Fails to Remove Scandals from Wikipedia

​Remember how Rep. David Rivera is allegedly a giant, corrupt scumbag? Well, someone in his office would rather you forget. According to Politico someone in Rivera's office is desperately trying to remove all references to the many investigations Rivera currently finds himself at the center of fro ... More >>

Is Debbie Wasserman Schultz the Next Chair of the Democratic Party?

​Democratic National Committee Chairman Tim Kaine is expected to resign in order to run for Senate from his home state of Virginia, leaving one of the most important posts in the party -- and by extension Washington, D.C. -- up in the air. Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who represent ... More >>

Politico: David Rivera Has the Toughest Reelection Bid in 2012

​With investigations ongoing and more shady ethics charges mounting up, freshman Republican Rep. David Rivera might not even make it until 2012, let alone run for election. If he does, he's in for one hell of a hard campaign. Politico has ranked the top ten most contentious house races for 2012, a ... More >>

Journalists Abhorred That Rick Scott Won't Let Them Wear Flip Flops To His Press Conferences

Governor Rick Scott and the press corp that covers him are now in a full out war, according to Politico. The press isn't happy at the perception that Scott is trying to limit their access to a state Government, that in principal at least, has traditionally tried to be transparent and open. Scott and ... More >>

Rep. David Rivera Paid Himself $60,000 in Unexplained Campaign Reimbursements

​Newly elected Rep. David Rivera's ethics troubles continue to be a source of shame for both his Republican party and his Miami-Dade constituency. The Associated Press has added more charges to his ever-growing list of suspicious dealings with money. The news wire reports that over the eight y ... More >>

GOP Is Already Looking Into Plans to Replace Rep. David Rivera

​Way to go Miami. We've elected a guy to congress who is so ethically shady that he even makes career D.C. politicians nervous. As the ethics scandal involving freshman Republican Rep. David Rivera grows, GOP leaders are said to be quietly making plans to replace him if need be. In any event, ... More >>

Senate President Mike Haridopolos to Run Against Bill Nelson in 2012

​Senator Bill Nelson, currently the only democratic official in Florida to have been elected state-wide is up for re-election in 2012, and he's already beginning to draw Republican opponents. Florida Senate President Mike Haridopolos will soon announce his candidacy, and is already talking openly ... More >>

Alex Sink Blames Obama Administration for Her Loss

Is Alex Sink chewing on a bushel of sour grapes following her loss to Rick Scott or is she accurately hitting on some of the political and messaging failures of the Obama White House and the Democratic party in general? In an article on Politico this weekend, Sink lays some of the blame for her loss ... More >>

Bill Clinton Says He Never Asked Kendrick Meek To Drop Out

​Following reports that he asked Kendrick Meek to drop out of the senate race former President Bill Clinton has taken some serious heat. However, he's just released a statement refuting Politico's story and says he never asked Meek to drop out, nor did Meek ever at any point agree to drop out.

CEO of Penthouse Magazine Holding Fundraiser for Charlie Crist

​There's already the rather loose connection of Governor candidate Rick Scott to Playboy Mexico, and now it seems there's a more direct connection between current Governor and Senate candidate Charlie Crist to the raunchier Penthouse magazine. According to Politico, the CEO of the adult brand will ... More >>

Rick Scott Hates the Stimulus, But Company He Invested in Got $60m in Stim Funds

Billionaire GOP Governor candidate Rick Scott says he has conservative values, but the kind of companies he invests in don't seem to. One company Scott invested in was shown to help send money from illegal immigrants back to Mexico even though he backs Arizona's immigration laws. Another h ... More >>

If Jeff Greene Wins Primary, Democrat Establishment Might Tacitly Embrace Charlie Crist

The impetus for the latest Politico article about the Florida senate race must have gone something like this: "Hey, you know that Jeff Greene guy who's spending $40 million to buy the Democratic Senate nomination -- he's kind of creepy with a bit of a shady background, right? And Charlie Crist ... More >>

Giuliani Endorses Rubio To Spite Backstabber Crist, Campaigns in Coral Gables Today

Marco Rubio announced Friday that Rudy Giuliani endorsed his campaign for Senate. The two will be campaigning today in Coral Gables.​The political press has interpreted this as a snub of the governor, since Charlie Crist endorsed John McCain for president in 2008. Not one, not two, but a million ... More >>

District 25 Void: Miami Lakes Mayor Pizzi to Announce Candidacy, Dems Eye Annette Taddeo

Now that Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart is mildly carpetbagging his way over to Congressional District 21 to run for the more Republican-friendly seat his elder brother is vacating, there's a big void in District 25.  Miami Lakes Mayor Michael Pizzi will announce his candidacy, according to Eye on ... More >>

Rev. Pat Robertson: Haitians Have Been Cursed Since Deal with the Devil

Rev. Pat Robertson, host of The 700 Club, former Republican Presidential candidate, and influential leader of the Christian Right, seems to know the cause of the earth quake that devastated Haiti yesterday.He made these statement on TV today, via Politico: "Something happened a long time ago in Hai ... More >>

Sarah Palin Only Knows About "Real America," Which Apparently Doesn't Include "Latin America"

Shocking news from Politico: Sarah Palin was apparently uninformed and failed to come to a simple understanding on issues while running for vice president! In this case it was issues relating to Latin America policy and Hispanics.A top adviser on Hispanic issues to John McCain's presidential campaig ... More >>

NRSC Decides to Back Off in Florida Primary

Sen. John Cornyn​Looks like Marco Rubio might have pulled off a bit of a victory thanks to the results of New York's 23rd congressional district. Sen. John Cornyn announced yesterday that the National Republican Senatorial Committee won't be inserting itself into primary's anymore. Thoug ... More >>

Top Ten Thursdays: Top Ten Halloween Songs (Sort Of)

​The season for spooking is here, and to help awaken your inner ghoul who's been lying dormant, here is a list of ten songs to celebrate the holiday. Some are obvious, some have loose, vague, or quirky affiliations with Halloween themes (you'll be hard-pressed to find some of these on other Ha ... More >>

David Cross Did Cocaine at the Same Table as Donna Shalala

via Wiki Commons user Nightscream/CC3.0David Cross​Generally, David Cross is a pretty funny fellow, but sometimes he seems so damn smug. I guess if I starred in Arrested Development and Mr. Show, I would be pretty self-satisfied, even if I had done some Hollywood bullshit like Alvin ... More >>

Al Franken Finally Wins, Karma Makes Up For 2000 Florida Election Fiasco

via CPBlotterThe Minnesota Supreme Court has unanimously declared Al Franken the winner of the 2008 Minnesota Senate race. Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to certify the results and send the SNL-alum to the highest legislative body in the land. The win will gi ... More >>

Marco Rubio Backed By Most Ridiculously Conservative Sitting Senator

Jim DeMintHey now, not every Republican Senator is ready to warmly welcome Charlie Crist into his or her little club. Nope. Jim DeMint, the junior Senator from South Carolina, is ready to endorse Crist's fledgling primary opponent Marco Rubio, according to Politico, at least.  ... More >>

Crist Doesn't Want to Deal in Cheney Hypotheticals, Thank You Very Much

The Herald's Marc Caputo was wondering if Dick Cheney ever crawled out of the hyperbolic chamber that keeps him alive in the torture dungeon basement of his demon castle, located somewhere southwest of Hell, and decided to campaign on Charlie Crist's behalf in the Senate race, would Charli ... More >>

New Gitmo Policies, Same as the Old Gitmo Policies?

It is common knowledge among conservative bloggers that the mainstream media was totally in the tank for Barack Obama during the whole election, but now that he's actually president, it seems they don't really know what to do with themselves. So they've reverted back to the only thing they've known ... More >>

The Week That Was: Hats Off to Obama

Obama was actually inaugurated! And one of those three billion people in attendance was a New Times writer! Most of us just watched in the conference room, though. Outgoing president Bush has left us speechless (in a bad way), but nut nearly as much as Aretha's hat (in a good way). Git'mo! Git'mo! G ... More >>

Sink May Put a Drain On GOP Senate Hopes, Yet

"Sink not running against Martinez," technically this Politico.com headline from Monday is correct, as no one will be running against Mel Martinez, ever again. But their assertion that she wasn't throwing her hat in the ring to become Florida's junior Senator in 2010 may have been off the mark. Nake ... More >>